Sucks to your Internets, Korean Immigration. or: dealing with HIKOREA.or.kr was extremely frustrating today

I'm fuming right now.  All I wanted to do was make a reservation so that I didn't have to wait for five FRIGGIN' hours at immigration tomorrow afternoon when I actually have free time in my MAD schedule to go down and finish the documentation for my marriage visa.

That doesn't sound too hard, does it?

So I go to the website.  No problem.  Try to log in.  Popup.

"*#&@^$^@%@%^" (translation: "this is Korea, durr. We haven't heard of google chrome, or internet platforms other than Internet Explorer Six") ... or to be more accurate..

this...

is...

korea...

we...

haven't...

heard...

of...

you get the idea.

Firefox? (also known as the world's most widely used web browser)  No dice.  Safari?  No dice.

Welcome to Korea.  Mac users need not apply.  My own dumb fault for getting a mac, I suppose, but cripes almighty!

screenshot:  oh really? you don't say.

So I phone the operator at the immigration phone line thoughtfully supplied by the government of Korea.  How nice.  Really. and the lady was quite polite and patient, as she asked me to tell her my hikorea login and password over the phone (seriously, Korea? this is how you do things? have people read passwords to other people over the phone?)

except that there was NOTHING she could do.  Literally nothing.

The password I got when I registered didn't work.

"So how can I get a new password?"
Well, just go to your fax machine...
"Nobody uses fax machines."

Seriously?  A FRIGGIN' FAX MACHINE is the only way to recover your password?
Youtube lets you click a button, prove you're not a machine, and sends an e-mail to the address you originally provided.  Would that be so hard?

"But if you don't have a fax machine you can't get a new password."
Kind of misses the point of bringing the service online, don't you think?
"Maybe you have a friend who has a hikorea login that can make a reservation for you?"
Umm. no.  Why should I need to?
"Maybe you can come in really early tomorrow when the lines are light?"

Got classes then.

So I'm going to end up sitting in immigration for THREE FRIGGIN' HOURS of my ONLY FRIGGIN' free afternoon of the week (thanks to the new "hey, your seniority means nothing; you're all working four nights a week; newlywed nothin'!  Better enjoy your new bride on the weekend, 'cause you'll be getting home dead-tired ALL WEEK!" policy at my school) because that lovely, thoughtful phone line won't let people make reservations over the phone, even if they can provide all the pertinent id numbers.

Nope. They just have the phone line to talk you in circles until you go back to the website, so that nobody has to actually directly deal with you.

I'll be positive tomorrow.  Right now I'm friggin' choked.

And dear everyone running a website in Korea: it ain't 1997 anymore.  figure out a way to run your website on more than just Internet Explorer six.  Dumbass.

GAAAAH!

(image credit)

ATEK Presidential Nominations

The July ATEK newsletter, which was sent out to all members, announced that presidential nominations began on July 23.  They close tomorrow.

So far, one person has submitted her candidacy, and while I'm assured that she's awesome, it's better for the organization, and better for English teachers, if we have more people in the running.  Campaigning and presidential debates allow for a discussion of English teachers' situation in Korea, and the future of the organization, in a way that more clearly articulates a person's vision, and the community's needs.  If you're a general member of ATEK, and you want to throw your hat in the ring, the nomination period ends tomorrow, so get down to the ATEK general members forum to join the race.  Also: any nominations need to be seconded by a general member.  Don't forget to second candidates you support.

New Korea-related Brilliance on Youtube

When I was looking for that trot video I posted on the Taxi driver post, I stumbled across these as well:

now, I know we're all fond of KPop - honestly, it's taken me five years or so, but K-pop is starting to grow on me. Really grow on me - basically, because within the limitations of what it's trying to accomplish, it succeeds eeeextreeeemmmelllly well.

And let's be honest: we all have a soft spot for trot music, the cheesy, accordion-rich music the old taxi drivers listen to when they drive us from place to place, loaded with overdone vibratos and yodel-ly voice-cracking vocalization techniques.  It's silly, it's fun, and it's unlike ANYTHING from back home... admit it. You like it.  I know you do.

So let's combine them.

Watch the first two minutes of each of these videos if you don't know the original song, and then watch the howlingly funny "Trot" remakes:

Lollipop - from a phone ad a little while ago.  Featuring TWO Kpop megabands: Big Bang AND 2NE1.  That's right. How many kpop teen idol band sensations are promoting YOUR phone?  TWO? I didn't think so.


The Trot version:

bear with me. it gets better.


"Heartbreaker" by G-Dragon


And the trot remake: about halfway through, the traditional instruments take the whole thing moves to a new level approaching the sublime.

As an extra bonus, the Korean title is "Trotbreaker"

Finally, the best of all:

"Sorry Sorry" by SuperJunior, one of KPop's biggest supergroups.


and then watch this, the Trot Remake.

been having an excellent taxi driver week

Sometimes it's the little things in life that keep you afloat... especially when one's glorious wedding/family visit/honeymoon to the maldives/summer vacation suddenly morphs into a "worst working schedule I've ever had and the staff room air conditioner stopped working" return to work.

but i'm happy to report that I've had a startlingly good run of taxi drivers lately.

And as tribute to Taxi Drivers, who can be the best, or the worst thing about life in Korea, depending on the one, and the day, and the weather, here's some taxi driver music, also known as "Trot" or 트로트.


Wifeoseyo and I were in a taxi heading to the Seoul Station Lotte Mart, and as we passed Seoul Station, Wifeoseyo twisted around and gasped, "We've gone past Seoul Station! What are you doing?" to the taxi driver. As we came a little farther around the corner, it was revealed that the Lotte Mart was around the side of the main station. Instead of the gruff, bulldog snarl that a lot of taxi-drivers would offer when their passenger said, in effect, "What the hell are you doing?" -- this taxi driver looked ahead, and sang cheerfully, "Lotte Marteu" exactly the way the radio jingle goes. It cracked us both up, and turned the situation from possible mean to brilliantly fun. Lovely.

then, yesterday, I got off work, and wanted to test out another route home before the car wifeoseyo and I ordered arrives, and I start seriously considering driving to work. So I caught a cab, and asked him to take me home by way of a certain road that's less travelled by than the usual thoroughfares taxi drivers head for, when one asks to go to my new neighborhood.

As soon as I started talking in Korean, the Taxi driver started laughing with glee -- it took me a few seconds to suss out that he wasn't mocking me, but was simply impressed and tickled that I spoke Korean as well as I did (not THAT well... but I'll take it)

Then, he started telling stories in 85% Korean (but mostly simple enough I could catch the gist), about other non-Korean passengers he'd taken, which included a hilarious re-enactment of a conversation with some Arab passengers-

"You tomorrow airport come! Big cash!"
"No I taxi small! Five people my taxi small."
"Please you come tomorrow please cash money!"
"I sorry taxi small no five people sorry!"

he was laughing all through his own story, and the way he told it reminded me of the seven-year-old I used to teach who was so excited about his story that he stopped using words, and just acted the ends of his stories out with broad, comical charades, while his classmates looked on, bemused, with faces reading, "I have no idea what's going on, but it sure is entertaining!"

Then he went on to explain how Japanese passengers can't speak Korean OR English, and complained that English is hard. He took his little screen (which had been playing trot/techno, which he stopped at the beginning of the trip, and which I asked him to turn back on, because it was hella fun), and turned on an English tv drama, which we watched, all as he told me in asides, "I have no idea what they're saying," and then took a phrase from the show "How do you like that?" and repeated it as he heard it: "Hawyuulaee'det?" over and over, until it cracked me up again.

So yeah, sometimes things get busy, and air conditioners break down, and wallets get pick-pocketed... but there's always a funny taxi driver, a cute old lady, or a friendly stranger, to keep things from going too far down the dark road.

Best Mangled English of the Year So Far

Courtesy of Nick Elwood, of the blog "Bathhouse Ballads"

Electric Rice Cooker...

and cum warmer.

If you're into that kinky stuff. (as Nick says: don't forget to wash it out after)

Did this make the rounds while I was on my honeymoon, or is it as hilarious to you as it is to me?

Any other submissions for best mangled English of 2010, so far?

My Niece is Cute

One of the best thing about the wedding was the fact all but one of my nieces and nephews came to Korea to be at the wedding.  It was awesome!  My youngest niece (by one week) was the star of the show for a lot of the trip: her big blue eyes hypnotized the ajummas to give her free stuff, and she is very outgoing -- but just shy enough not to let anyone but her parents or relatives pick her up (fortunately).  Here, you can see her trying out her Korean (she understood what they meant, too), singing a song, kissing her new Aunty Wifeoseyo (we also call her Imo Wifeoseyo...except with her real name) and dancing to K-pop, as well as enjoying herself at the Morning Calm Garden.



One of the best parts was during the musical "Miso" at the Jungdong theater, which I highly, highly recommend: the cast of the musical spotted her sitting in the second row, and during the whole rest of the show they were sneaking peeks at her, waving at her, and the like.  Nieceoseyo, for her part, was an absolute doll: her mom (who directs plays back home) told Nieceoseyo to wave and blow kisses at the cast members, and they were total goners.  It was so fun to watch.  Even without the "the cast was flirting with my niece" part (they also flirted with my other nieces, who are three and eight, the show was great.

Finally, after the show finished, the cast came up to the Jungdong theater courtyard in full costume for some photo ops... but a lot of the people in the audience wanted pictures of my nieces and nephews instead!  :)

ATEK's Next President

*this is Rob's own Blog, not an official ATEK release.*

Now as I said when I announced my position as ATEK communications officer, I don't want ATEK to take over Roboseyo... on the other hand, this here passes the "if I weren't ATEK's communications guy, would I write about this?" test.

As you may have heard at Chris in South Korea, ATEK President Greg Dolezal's one-year term is coming to an end, and we're taking nominations right now for candidates for the next president.

Last year, the debate between Greg Dolezal and Stephannie White during ATEK's presidential campaigns, hosted by Koreabridge.net, led to a great podcast which ended up articulating a lot of the issues affecting English teachers.

Now, a year later, ATEK is standing on much more stable ground than its controversy-ridden beginnings.  The three-man organization and the Equal Checks campaign have given way to a solid organization built for growth, a growing membership, and a growing number of active officers working in their regional organizations to help English teachers with all kinds of different needs.

Some of ATEK's recent successes include launching the Legal Assurance Program with Kangnam Labor Law Firm, building connections with the Seoul Metro Police Association, ratifying a set of new bylaws that set the organization up for big growth in the future, growing connections with groups like Kotesol, and avoiding the standoffish posture that, while it seems like stuff is getting accomplished, ultimately alienates the people we want to be talking with.  ATEK is making inroads to having an actual place at the table in discussions about the future of English education in Korea, and ATEK has more officers and more support now for the next president than we've ever had before: when Greg started, the number of ATEK officers was much smaller, and the organization was recovering from some bad press, and we're looking for nominations for our next president: a few candidates would be ideal: giving members a choice is important, and the campaign is an important chance to articulate ATEK's next steps.

Any general member can run for president... to become an associate member, go to ATEK.or.kr/join, and to become a general member (which you have to be, to run for president), the e-mail you receive for becoming an associate member will have more information.  Then, once you're a general member, go to the general member discussion forums, and post a comment announcing your candidacy.  For more information, e-mail Russell at officers@atek.or.kr, or Greg at president@atek.or.kr

In my opinion, what ATEK needs now is somebody who can build on the foundation we have: ATEK is working really well as a communication network, sharing information and help with teachers who need it, and gathering information from teachers, to communicate them to those who make decisions that affect English teachers' fates.  People who want to know what foreigners think about Korea are starting to contact ATEK, because it's put itself out there, and buddy, we badly need other sources for quotes about about English teachers in Korea.

Who'll do well?  Somebody who's good with people, somebody who looks before he or she leaps, but who is passionate about improving English teachers' situations in Korea.  A peacemaker and a coordinator will be more successful than a disturber: because ATEK is still a young organization, the decisions made now can have long-lasting effects, and a good president will be careful enough to consider long-term effects of decisions, but also has the drive to take opportunities when they come.

Meanwhile, ATEK continues looking for people who care about English education in Korea: we have communications positions involving translation and gathering resources to help English teachers, as well as website design and content management.  We have lots of local districts looking for officers in all kinds of positions: social officers to organize events, emergency needs officers to take care of sudden problems that pop up, ethics officers to act as the organization's accountability voice and consciences, and representatives for hogwan teachers, public school teachers, and others.  There are people who have complained that when ATEK says, "We need people to help out," we don't say "We specifically want people with these skills to do this" --- but that's really because there are spaces for what-ever you like to do, and whatever you're good at.  atek.or.kr/officers.  Like helping people? Like coordinating events?  Like sifting through information to choose the most correct and appropriate course of action?  Got law background? Got counselling background? Got a heartbeat?  Atek can find a place where you can add value to the experiences of English teachers in your area, where you can come away from Korea with a reference letter, a better feeling about your time in Korea, and another bullet-point on your resume.

Paper Wedding Done

The good news is, if you wake up really early, you can get all the paper wedding work done in a morning.  Mrs. Roboseyo and I did exactly that yesterday.  The even better good news was that just in case there WERE lines, Jagiseyo (see what I'm doing here?) had cleared the entire day... and then we totally got the afternoon free.  So we went to Wood & Brick, a great bakery to visit in the evening, when their stocks are almost sold out, but an AMAAAZING bakery to visit in the morning, when the sourdough rye is still warm.  We loaded up on good breadstuffs, and had an easy afternoon that involved Seokchon Lake Park in Jamsil, the best Jajangmyeon I've had in my life, and a movie in Myeongdong.

And the paper wedding is done.  We're officially married, all three ways: in a church, in front of a crowd, and in the district office.

The only drawback was that the Korean district office needed a week to send the official certificate, which means that while I got 80% of the immigration work done to apply for my F-2 (marriage) visa, I'll have to go back there with that documents to get the final stamp on it.

Fortunately for Yobo-seyo, the immigration official was very understanding about her work schedule, and said that if I find her back when I return later, Wifeoseyo doesn't need to be there in person, so long as I have all the documents she needed.

Anyway, we saw "Salt" - the new Angelina Jolie movie, which has made me decide/realize two things.

1. Angelina Jolie is the most convincing female hollywood action hero since Sigourney Weaver in the Alien movies.  Who else is even in the running?  Mila Jovovich for Resident Evil, Uma Thurman for Kill Bill (but have you seen "My Super Ex-Girlfriend"? Just about cancels it all out.)  Michelle Rodruigez, but she's having trouble graduating from "Member of the rag-tag group who saves the day" to "Serious headliner"  Anybody I'm missing?  And don't you dare say the Charlie's Angels' ladies.  Michelle Yeoh kicks ALL their asses sideways till tuesday... that's why I said "Hollywood female action heroes"

2. If you're a major hollywood star, and you throw a bone to Korean audiences, they will reward you with SO much love, and probably an extra half-million ticket receipts.  Hugh Jackman, Angelina Jolie, Nicholas Cage: they visited Seoul, and said some nice things about the country and the food, and now Roboseyette absolutely adores them.  (conversely, if you are mean about Korea, you may face a backlash... sometimes with a long memory.  Oprah.)

Then, the big bummer of the day:

I've always said I love that Korea's a really honest country: I once left my shoulder-bag on the back of a chair in a PC room and the next morning it was still there, un-touched, and un-looted.  On the other hand, maybe the law of averages had to exert itself:

After having a really, really wonderful day, in the taxi on the way home, I realized that my wallet was missing.  And it was full of cash - full - after I'd changed almost a year's worth of coin-change into cash this week.  It might have fallen out of my pocket during the movie (which wasn't that impressive - Manchurian Candidate + more explosions, basically), but I'm pretty conscientious about that stuff; I think it might have been pick-pocketed.  Bummer.

Also gone: my Alien Registration Card, my Korean Driver's License, my Korean bank card, my Canadian bank card, and my Canadian credit card.  Some frequent user stamp cards from some coffee shops.  An old student ID card with a really funny picture which I'd kept in there to crack people up (totally irreplaceable).  My costco card. (NNNNOOOOOOOOO!)

NOT gone:
My birth certificate, which I fortuitously removed from the wallet this afternoon thinking, "It's best not to carry this around everywhere"
My passport
My Canadian driver's license
--which is to day, I didn't lose anything that's worse than inconvenient or annoying to replace, except that student card.  Made the phone calls, froze my credit cards - nobody'd tried to use them, anyway, and now I have to ask them to issue me a new Alien Card at Immigration, I guess.  Came out of it relatively unharmed... though a little humbled, a little more cautious, and large payer of the "stupid tax" this month.

So... here's the choice:

Wifeoseyo
Yobo-seyo
Mrs. Roboseyo
Roboseyette
Jagiseyo

and while The Mrs. has final veto, and I'm giving myself five votes, I'm making a poll: how do you think I should refer to the Mrs. on my blog, now that we're married?

Calling All English Teachers, past or present... Survey

If you are an English teacher right now, or were last year, or were in 1984, there's a survey I'd like you to do...

1. click on this link
http://www.ballotbin.com/voterReg.php?b=15507

2. put your e-mail address in the two boxes.

This step is necessary so that we know we're getting unique survey-takers, not the same ones again and again.

3. After you've entered your e-mail address, the survey website will send you an e-mail with a link, and then it will forget your e-mail address forever.  Another person will get an e-mail saying "hey! another person did the survey!" and that will be it: your address will never be connected to your answers, and will not appear in any kind of database.  Promise.

4. Once you get that link sent to your address, click on it, and fill out the survey.

It asks you questions about your experience teaching in Korea - answer the questions about your entire time teaching in Korea.

5. Tell your friends about the survey.

This survey is being conducted by ATEK (http://atek.or.kr/survey), but you don't have to be a member of ATEK to participate.  You don't have to be a teacher right now to participate, you don't even need to be in Korea to participate: all you need is once, at some time in your life, to have been a teacher in Korea.  We're hoping to get a large enough sample size that the statistics will carry some real weight as representative of the "average" teacher's experience in Korea.

If you had a bad experience, or a great experience in Korea, we'd like you to participate, so that the whole thing's balanced: so don't just do the survey if you've got a gripe; do it if you had a great time, too.

As you know, ATEK, the Association for Teachers of English in Korea, is an organization whose mission is to improve life for English teachers in Korea; ATEK is conducting this survey to better understand the situation of English teachers in Korea, so that we know what the major issues are that affect teachers, and how to better serve English teachers in Korea.

Korean Blog List: Choosing Your New Blog's Name...

From time to time I check up on the Korean Blog List to scan the K-blogs out there and see if there are any that I'd like to check up on more regularly.  This, along with checking the sidebar links of your favorite K-blogs, is one of the two best ways to see what's new in the K-blogosphere.

Even "the big guys" like The Brian Formerly in Jeollanamdo got a lot of their most interesting stories from lesser-known blogs who were closer to the actual issue at hand, and a blogger who doesn't update their sidebars and keep up with what's new, runs the risk of stagnating.  If the newest blog you have in your sidebar links is Brian in Jeollanamdo, Metropolitician, (not to take away from those two bloggers) or me, you might want to revisit your link list, and see what's new.

I wrote at length on "How to get your K-blog Noticed" a while ago, and when people ask me for advice or help, I usually refer them back to that post.  Despite what The Stallion would have you believe, it isn't an exclusive club.

Looking through the new additions to the Korean Blog List, though, it struck me again how important it can be to have a catchy blog name - which names jumped out at me while scanning that long list?  If you want to have a blog people remember, three things to keep in mind when choosing your name are:

1. times and places can limit you.  "Joe's Year in Korea" "Anna in Daegu" - what if Joe decides to stay on for another year?  What if Anna moves to Busan?  Brian in Jeollanamdo is in Pittsburgh now... but he'll have that name, at least in K-blog circles, every time we mention him.  "Seoul2008" probably feels pretty awkward blogging about Daegu 2010, doesn't she?

2. It's hard to switch names after you've already chosen one, so choosing an interesting one from the get-go will help if you hope to become a "noted K-blogger" (whatever that's worth).

3. Sorry if you have one, but there are so many K-blogs that pun on Seoul/Soul and that use "Kimchi" in the name already, that nobody will be able to keep your blog apart from the others anymore.  K-blog readers I talk to still confuse "Eat Your Kimchi" with "Kimchi IceCream" - two very good, very different blogs both of whom have been writing for more than two years each.  There are 12 blogs on the Korean Blog List with Kimchi in the name.  There are 15 blogs that pun on soul/Seoul, including two "seoul searcher"s... I don't think any of them need to change their names, and I like some of those blogs a lot... but if you're starting a NEW blog, just recognize that the Seoul/Soul/Kimchi niche is already saturated, and let me recommend you veer in another direction that won't get confused with a dozen other similarly-named blogs.  Or offer the owner of one of those blogs a fat check to take over their name.


Best K-blog name I saw on the new additions to the Korean Blog List this time: Blog-gogi. Memorable, clearly Korea-related, clearly a blog.

To everybody who already has Kimchi or Seoul in your blog name: I'm not criticizing you, your blog, or your blog name.  Don't sweat it. In fact, this post isn't directed toward you at all: it's directed at somebody who's thinking of a name for their new K-blog.

As apology, here are links to every Kimchi Blog: I like your blogs!  Keep it up!
ZenKimchi
Kimchi Mamas
Tiffany in Kimchiland
Kimchi and Cornbread
Kimchi Ice-Cream
Kiss My Kimchi
The Kimchi Chronicles
Kimchi with Eish
Kimchi Cheeseburger
Korea, Kimchi, & K-pop
Cats and Kimchi
Kimchi World

and links to every Soul/Seoul Blog:  I like some of these - in fact, some bloggers from both of these lists are among my favorite blogs, bloggers, and people...but 15 is a lot, yah?
Joe Seoul Man
Seoul Man in Tokyo
The Seoul Patch
Seoul Sucking Jerk
formerly Seoul Purpose
Seoul Searching
Seoul Food
EPs Heart in Seoul
We've Got Seoul
Seoul Sounds
JSE Seoul Searching
Deep in my Seoul
The Seoul Searcher
A Seoulful Life
A Soul-less Man

Some of the uniquer K-blog names out there...
Paul Ajosshi
ZenKimchi (nobody mixes it up with anybody else - inventing a new word helps)
The Chosun Bimbo
Gusts of Popular Feeling
Good for Man's Health
Hermit Hideaways

Back from the Honeymoon!

Here's the score:

Spain World Cup: sigh. I watched the game on tape, and they DID deserve to win, but sigh. My dad's Dutch.

W Hotel Maldives: amazing! Amazing! Amazing!

Male: capital city of maldives.  Probably warrants a post of its own.

Coral: mmm.

Photos and videos: about eight or ten gigabytes worth (fortunately much of that is HDMI video) - will go through it, will post some of it, but have a lot to process.

Family in Korea: so so sweet!  My nieces and nephews are pretty awesome, and my brothers and sisters are, too.

The Blog: sorry about the light posting... fortunately I only plan to get married once in my life, and henceforward, I'll be back to my usual self.

Seriously though, that light posting: if you're pretty choked about it, let me know, and I'll send you a refund check.

Pictures: because the internet can be a very public place, don't expect every single picture, either of the wedding or the week with the family, or the honeymoon (especially not the honeymoon) up here... but I'll try to find some representative ones.  Every picture of a loved one's face (other than my own) that goes up here will be posted only once permission has been obtained, so bear with me, and forgive the smaller number.  Jagiseyo knows when I'm taking pictures for my blog, because I'm not including her in any of the pictures, and we've had a few conversations to the effect of "are you blogging right now?" which is a nice way of saying "you're not really present in this moment with me, are you?" and on the honeymoon of all places, I've been mindful of that.

However, I don't begrudge any of my blog-friends posting one or two of the (not unflattering) pictures they took of the wedding, and I hope Joy, from Foreign/er Joy doen't mind me re-posting a few of those photos.

I also certainly hope my friends who took pictures at the wedding send me copies.  Hint, hint, hint.

A few pictures from Joy's page:

Some of my own pictures, and maybe a few from the studio, coming as soon as I can catch up with the eighty e-mails in my "ATEK Communications" inbox...

of course visa requirements come up when I'm on vacation.  Of course.

Still alive, but...

Re-watched Thunderball, the old James Bond movie.

Ate breakfast at a W Hotel.

Narrowly avoided sunstroke.

Saw 40 different kinds of fish.

Life is good in Roboseyoland, but once things settle down a bit more, I'll be back to blogging as usual.

So far, the leader in the "Girlfriendoseyo needs a new nickname" sweepstakes is Selorm (seconded by Kushibo) with "Chagiseyo" - but I'll have to check with the official "updated romanization" whether I'll be using "Jagiseyo" or "Chagiseyo" or something else suggested by someone else in the comments, that's even better.

And now... it's Chagiseyo's birthday, and I have to get some stuff ready.

Stay joyful, dear readers.

Here's my mood right now.
Those who came to the wedding know why.  Chagiseyo's learning the words now.  The three times she's funniest are when she's singing, and when she's half-drunk.



Wedding and honeymoon photos later, once the huge mass of them (two different cameras) get processed.


Until then... Joy wrote up a nice little post about my wedding, which you can read. Thanks, Joy. I'd also like to take this moment to publicly thank Chris in South Korea for the photos he privately sent me of the wedding. Chagiseyo loved them, and sends along her thanks, too.

Got married. More later.

A few things about the wedding:

1. my wife is just awesome.

I'm trying to think of a new nickname for her, now that she's no longer girlfriendoseyo... I'd gotten used to girlfriendoseyo, and liked it (fianceeoseyo and betrothedoseyo didn't really work), but with the new upgrade to "Wife" status, I think it deserves a new nomenclature, and Girlfriendoseyo 2.0 isn't going to cut it.

2. My family's in town.  It's AWESOME having my family in town.  To a person, my brothers, sisters, in-laws, nieces, nephews, parents and steps are top-notch human beings, and I love having them in my life, and I really love combining the things I love about my family with the things I love about my life in Korea:

seeing my new wife laughing with my sister.
seeing my new wife playing with my nieces and nephews.
seeing my nieces and nephews take her hand as they walk along the chonggyecheon, as naturally and unconsciously as if they'd known her and hung out with her since the day they were born
the funny variety of reactions as different kids find different things they like and dislike in the dishes of food put in front of them by waiters in Korean restaurants
everybody turning into butter when my nieces say "kamsahamnida" to them
walking through the winding back alleys
my nephew sidling up to me and asking me how to say "You look pretty" in Korean, so that he can tell the lady in hanbok what he thinks (an my niece calling all the ladies in hanbok at the traditional show "princesses")

3. If you have the chance, get out to the Jung-dong theater and see the show "Miso".  It's described as an opera, but that's a huge misnomer: when people say "Opera" it stirs up associations of pretension, dry snootiness, and long, boring performances that make grey-haired people nod their heads they way they do when they swirl their wine glasses.  In fact, this show was captivating, for everyone from my dad, approaching retirement age, right on down to my two and three-year-old nieces, who always had something colorful to look at.  The show's almost entirely nonverbal, the costumes are fantastic, they incorporate really skilled demonstrations of most of Korea's traditional performance arts, all into a colorful, funny, charming adaptation of a Korean folk tale.  So yeah, drop the thirty to fifty thousand won to see the show: it's worth it.  Every member of my family had a great time.  This is the same theater where I saw this show, which was amazing... but Miso is even better.  By about a mile.

Now I'm showing my family around Seoul for a week, before my folks head home (they're going home in stages: my brother yesterday, my sister + 3 kids and brother-in-law today, my other sister, niece, and parents on Friday), and then on Saturday Wifeoseyo and I will head out on a honeymoon.  It's been great.

4. I've been overwhelmed by the support and goodwill my friends have put forward.  Honestly, my wedding was on July 4th, so I expected a number of my American friends to go, "Geez; bad choice of date... It'd've been nice to go, but I have an Independence Day party to attend"... but instead, almost every person I invited, showed!  It was humbling and amazing.  The wedding venue actually had to set up extra tables for the dinner, because so many people came out.  Plus, I was worried that when they do the traditional photo of the couple with all their friends standing behind them, that Brideoseyo would have WAAY more people on her side, than I had on mine... but it turned out that we were pretty much balanced.  Sweet! 

"You really do like me!"

5. Because the wedding was on the Han River, on July 4th, we got to look across the river and see a fireworks show during the after-party, in the air over Yongsan army base, due to the independence day festivities there.  Did YOU have a spectacular fireworks show on YOUR wedding night?... I mean, an ACTUAL fireworks show?

Yah, I didn't think so.

Pictures... when I have the time.

Continue to expect light posting until I get back from the honeymoon.

And thanks for coming! (if you came)
and thanks for not coming! (if you didn't come.. because we were overflowing as it was...though I still wish I could've seen you)

Family Arriving...

It's getting close, dear readers. On Wednesday night, my brother rocked into Korea, yesterday we walked around so much I got blisters on my feet, and today the rest of my family shows up.

So expect light posting from now until I return from the honeymoon:

I'M GETTING HITCHED!  I'll put up updates where I can, and I'll publish the final chapter on Korean weddings and who owns a culture when I can... but don't expect a whole lot for a little while.  Maybe some pictures.  Some awesome pictures.

so... see y'all later.

and be excited for me.  I am.

Korea-Uruguay in City Hall

Went down to City Hall to see Korea vs. Uruguay.  Missed the other games in a public, mob-setting, so I'm glad I went out to catch that one.

As game action goes, Uruguay looked really sharp on the goals they scored, and Korea will rue that goalpost free-kick in the first ten minutes. Uruguay was dumb to lay back and let Korea attack for the beginning of the second half, but the way they scored to re-take the lead made it look like they'd been toying with Korea all along. On the other hand, the Uruguayan goalie was forced to make some pretty tough stops on some very impressive setups...but he did. All in all, Korea put in a good effort, but didn't quite have the chops to top Uruguay; however, they should hold their heads high. They put forth a very respectable showing this year. The crowd was the main reason I went, though the wind went out of those sails after Uruguay's first goal; however, it's still worthwhile to get out and join tens of thousands of Korea soccer fans once every four years: the atmosphere, especially before the kickoff, is great.

And there was barely any booing of the Uruguayan National Anthem! One drunk guy near me was shouting shut up, and a few people booed in the first five seconds, and then stopped: it seemed like they got shushed by people around them who actually knew what sports are for.

The crowds, then:

The station was a madhouse, with police shepherding people to the correct exits, and blocking others.


Because it was dark, and rainy, the photos I took around city hall had longer exposures, and they have a kind of blurry, dreamy quality.  I like that.  The crowd here was awesome during the build up to the game, but as soon as Uruguay took the lead, it started kind of sucking.



These three very nice people are students at the KDI, from central-asian countries.  They invited me to watch the game with them.  I did, until the crowd behind us decided to sit, and told us to sit, which would have meant parking my but in a puddle, which sounds like the opposite of fun to me, so I took off to get more pictures of other areas.








Heres' a video of what the scene was like.


By Gwanghwamun, the cheering section was nicer, the crowds weren't so insane, and the atmosphere was generally more laid back.  In a good way.

Maybe my best crowd shot of city hall.  I didn't have my camera out as much as I'd have liked, because it was getting rained on, and I don't want my camera messed up with water damage right before my family comes to Korea, I get married, and I go on a honeymoon.  That'd, like, suck.


raindrops on the lens: looks nice, unless you're the one who paid for a camera that's getting wet.




after a while, the crowd called on people to stow their umbrellas, which made better viewing but fewer layers to the photos.  I lost my umbrella.  I lost two umbrellas this weekend, and gave a third away.





Gwanghwamun plaza wasn't too busy.


I was lucky enough to be filming when Korea scored... that reaction, and some of these other reactions to some close calls, are worth a watch as well.



Down the sides of Gwanghwamun Plaza was a big display of Korea's world cup history.

I especially liked this frame: I had no idea color film wasn't invented until after 1986.



or that giving birth to opposing players was legal during gameplay.


A lot of people were happy to pose for the cameras.

Some of them gave me  cigarette smelling hugs.  (not these ones, though)]


These next two pictures are cool: I like the way these two young people were totally rapt with the game action.




And the giant poo watched over it all.  and it was good.


Sejong and Admiral Lee weren't as into the game action as the rest.  Maybe the team could have used admiral Lee as a coach.  Except he'd have invented "Turtle cleats", and that might not have gone so well in a game of speed.

Other than city hall proper, the crowd was relatively sparse.  Rain'll do that.


Most of the world cup, uh, fashion, was covered in raincoats... but I caught a picture of this little group.

Bwahaha! Youtube Vuvuzela For The Win!

I was poking around on YouTube, procrastinating on wedding prep stuff, when I saw this...

Did you notice it?

Look at the bottom right corner:

If you click on that soccer ball, you can watch any Youtube video with Vuvuzelas droning in the background.

I howled with laughter.  Try it out.  The more relaxing the original video, the funnier the vuvuzela is.  But it won't do it with the embedding.

You can also surf the internet with vuvuzelas at this site: just type in the site you want to visit,

and I enjoyed this remix of Invictus, set in south africa, set to vuvuzela noise.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

and of course Lord of the Rings, with great music.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Finally, the vuvuzela has a twitter account.  Here.  It's very well thought-out.

Love the viral jokes.

and just in case that wasn't enough Korea content for you, just so's you know, on the topic of vuvuzelas, now that they've won the group, Argentina are being kinda jerks, and saying that the only reason Korea scored their lone goal in the 4-1 loss to the Argies, is because of the Vuvuzelas.  Just to remind us that bad sportsmanship is an international phenomenon, not limited to Koreans crashing Swiss web servers and stuff. (see final paragraph)

Been Watching Soccer/Football:

So I had to miss the Korea/Argentina game because of something more important: Koreabridge's discussion on workplace unions in Korea - worthwhile if you're an English teacher; check it out.

But the upshot is, I'm glad Korea made it to the round of 16, so that I get to go watch Korea play in the knockout round, and yeah, I'll wear my red horns, and yeah, I'll be mixing it up with the masses in City Hall.  It's an experience unlike anything you've ever had before.  What would it take to get 600 000 or 1 000 000 Canadians gathered in one place?  I can't think of anything, except a broom the size of Saskatchewan.

Because he helped me with the translation request from the last post, I'm totally pimping my buddy's blog: Korean Football.  Go read about the world cup there!

BTW I'm still looking for a few people who can help with English to Korean translations.


A few other thoughts about soccer (as we North Ameracaners call it)

1. It will always be the world's most popular sport, because any poor kid can take four rocks (goal posts) and something resembling a ball, and play a game of it.  The only other sports even CLOSE to requiring so little equipment are basketball and track and field.

2. It will NEVER be popular in North America, the way it is in the rest of the world, until players get penalized, I mean, really penalized, for falling at the slightest contact.  I like the rule suggested by an (american) sports columnist: if play has to be stopped because a player goes down, he has to sit out for ten minutes, no questions asked.  Substitution can be allowed, but he has to be off the field for ten minutes: if you're actually hurt, you need the ten minutes.  If you're not, you get up and suck it up.  As long as jokes like this (see video) are made about soccer, it won't gain traction in the continent of ice hockey, lacrosse, and 'Mercan Football.



3. It also will never be popular in North America because there are too many draws, and too many 1-0 games.

4. It doesn't need to be popular in North America.

5. In international competitions, I root against the USA, not because of the Canadian inferiority thing (that only kicks in when it's Canada vs. USA), but because if Brazil wins the world cup, it's a month-long party in Brazil.  If France, England, Argentina, etc. win it, it'll make that country's sports half-decade.  USA has SO many sports things going on, they don't NEED the world cup, too.  If US wins the world cup, most Americans will go "Yeah! Awesome!  Is Nascar on?" (or whatever their favorite sport is) and forget the world cup next time a baseball pitcher takes a perfect game into the 8th inning, or A-rod takes his shirt off in Central Park, or Terrell Owens comes out of the closet.

6. In the same way that bad horror movies are more watchable than bad movies of any other genre, blowouts are more watchable in soccer than any other sport I've seen.  Spain dismantling Honduras,  Portugal spanking North Korea, Germany handing Australia their jockstraps: a superb team in total control is actually fun to watch in Soccer (as long as they aren't slowing down the game).  In Hockey, the closer the game is, the better it is, and the more evenly matched the teams are, the more fun it is to watch, and blowouts are boring.  Most other sports, too.  In soccer, some of the evenly matched games were actually more boring, because each team just moved up and down the middle, and then took turns failing to penetrate the other side's defense.

Plus, the fact that a two goal game can count as a blowout, means that every once in a while, a team might dominate the ball, but concede a fluke goal or two that ends in a wacky result.  Mistakes are REALLY costly in soccer - it's the anti-tennis (tennis, where you can make dozens of unforced errors and still win).  That it all comes down to one game, and goals are so hard to come by, means that anything can happen.  (Go New Zealand!)

7. It's amazing how, even with a dozen players on the pitch per side, the stars somehow manage to assert themselves.  Somehow BECAUSE there are so many players on the field, they find ways to shine, which seems counterintuitive - you'd think they'd get lost in the crowd.

8. FC Barcelona have the best jerseys of any sports team I've ever seen.  Messi's fun to watch, but those jerseys are exactly my colors.  I want one.  I'll wear it to the new Manchester United bar in Jongno.

If you see me at the next game in City Hall, say hi.

Call for Translation Help...

Here's the skinny, dear readers: I need a hand.

My fiance's father will do a short speech on the day of the wedding, and my father will do wedding vows in English with me and Hyangju, during the wedding ceremony on Sunday, July 4. Because we'll have some guests who can't speak Korean, and some guests who can't speak English, I'd really like to hand out a program with an English translation of Hyangju's father's speech, and a Korean translation of my father's wedding vows and speech.

I'm sending this out to a bunch of my bilingual friends, because it's if I can find a bunch of people to help, I can just send one or two paragraphs to each person, and it won't be a big burden on anyone.  After I've gathered the parts back up, girlfriendoseyo and I will put them back together.

The translation doesn't have to be 100% accurate - it's a wedding, not an academic essay, so a "quick and dirty" translation will do - and I'll take the English translations and work them together so that they have a style that flows nicely, and Girlfriendoseyo will take the Korean translation of the English parts, and edit them so that they have smooth style as well.

If you help us, Girlfriendoseyo and I will take you out for dinner sometime and we'll eat something really nice, our treat of course, in appreciation.  Or I'll totally pimp your website, or tell my readers to buy what you're selling, or whatever.

If you're willing to donate a bit of your time in exchange for my gratitude, a bit of fame, and maybe a pint or two at wolfhound's, or some other delicious place, please e-mail me as quickly as possible at Roboseyo@gmail.com

Thank you, my wonderful readers and friends.

Wedding Approaching; expect light posting

It's hella hot, and hella hot makes me hella tired, because I don't have an air conditioner.  Meanwhile, I have about 300 emails to write in preparation for my wedding, which is mere weeks away.  Some important hurdles were cleared this week, and we got some big stuff out of the way... but there's always something else.

Anyway, my buddy Abhi asked me to remind you of the fundraising event for two Non-Profit Organizations - the facebook event is here, and it's a battle of the bands on June 26, so not only can you help out some orphans, but you get to go see some sweet live music.  http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=126367257393094 

Plus, on the facebook event page, I looked through the list of people who said they're attending, and most of them are very, dazzlingly good-looking.

Web Site Story

Nope, it's not about Korea, but Collegehumor made a video a while ago called "Web Site Story" that's all about our favorite websites.  (Warning: if you're not an internet nerd, you might miss some of the jokes).  Nerdy, but great -- West Side Story happens to be, along with "Singin' In The Rain," my favorite musical (yes, I have a favorite musical.  Deal with it.)  If you want to increase your nerd rating, you can also go through this list of the 100 most iconic viral videos.  You can find out your nerdity rating by counting how many of these videos you've already seen, plus half a point for each video you stop to watch while you go through the list.  My score is embarrassingly high.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

One more for good measure: search the internet the same way you watch World Cup Football Games.