Korea Heaven for Cyclists? The Country, Maybe; Seoul, Hell No

This big sign in a subway station kind of bothers me. It's about bike trails... clearly out of the city. It looks pretty; I'd like to bike there. I've had some great experiences biking around towns and countrysides outside of Seoul.


See, it's all well and good for Korea to be working on increasing and improving biking trails. I love that, actually, and as soon as I'm out of Seoul, renting a bike to explore the area I've landed, is one of my favorite things to do with Wifeoseyo.

But there's a problem with calling Korea (and especially Seoul) a biking mecca (and I'm not saying anybody has: this is a bit of a straw man, but I have a point to make, so bear with me here.)



Honestly, I'm not the guy to talk about bike trekking across the entire nation: I've never tried it, though I'm sure a country that's 70% mountainous would present challenges. Small towns often have some nice places to bike near their tourist spots, and many I've visited have bike rentals available: AWESOME.

And Seoul is an AWESOME place for recreational biking. Awesome awesome awesome. The Han River Park, the streams that go all the way up to Uijeongbu and down to Bundang, Cheonggyecheon and its off-shoot up to Hansung University station, the Olympic Park and Seoul Forest, the area around World Cup Stadium, and I'm sure there's a bunch I'm missing there: Seoul is a great place for recreational biking.



In fact, all the pictures on this post except one or two were taken on the same amazing (exhausting) day in October.

But here's the problem with advertising Seoul as a biker's haven:

It just ain't. Unless you're doing it for your health. If you're biking to work? You're taking your life into your hands.

Along Hongje Stream.


There are almost no biking lanes, almost anywhere in the city. Those right hand lanes where people usually bike? You're in danger of getting clipped by a taxi, or having the tar scared out of you by a bus, at any time. Sidewalks? Korean people's habit (and this is by no means exclusively Korean: every culture has people who lack spacial awareness or consideration) of walking three abreast, shoulder-to-shoulder, or with smartphones and headphones, means that you're gonna need a hell of a bell, and even then, the occasional dumbarse will just stare at you and not figure out that you're ringing the bell because they're the one in the way. So...  road biking is scary and dangerous, and sidewalk biking is barely faster than walking at times.

Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee. Dumbass pedestrian.

Chicken or the egg: are Koreans terrible at sharing the sidewalk with bikes because nobody bikes on sidewalks here, or does nobody bike on sidewalks here because Koreans are terrible at sharing the sidewalk with bikes?

Near Hansung University.


Here's another one: do very few Koreans under 60 use bikes to get around because Korean drivers are terrible at sharing the road with them, or are Koreans terrible at sharing the road with bikers because so few people under sixty use bikes to get around?

Why is this a problem? Utter. Bike lane. Fail. This is the bike lane in front of Gyeongbok Palace.


See how the only thing separating the bike lane from the driving lane is a white painted line? Well buddy, cars can drive over paint very easily. So can motorbikes, buses (I've seen it repeatedly happen), and taxis seem to enjoy driving over white paint lines.

And that's where there's a bike lane at all. If I worked in the downtown core, I'd be terrified to bike there. I'd wear two helmets, and a padded suit that looked like this:


The really funny thing about the Gwanghwamun bike lane fail is that right down in Mangwon, they've figured out how to do it right:

Those metal guards tell drivers, "Bikes only... or we'll wreck your car up"... and I bet it works!

Along the Hongje Stream, on the way towards World Cup Stadium, near the Hilton Hotel.


And... sorry to pull this into the discussion, but it's true...

Japan completely, totally, absolutely obliterates Korea, in terms of making the roads bike friendly.

Look what I randomly stumbled across in Kyoto when I was there with Wifeoseyo: a bike parking garage! It was beautiful. I saw people riding bikes in business attire there. I saw stylish people riding bikes there. I loved it.

Look how many bikes it can store, in how much smaller a space than a car parking lot! You know how everybody complains that there's no parking in downtown Seoul? Well...

My own theories as to why Seoul is ass for commuter cyclists?
1. Seoul is too hilly.
2. Bikes are for poor people. Korea is not far enough removed from its impoverished past to have lived down this stigma and notice how much cheaper, and how much more space efficient bikes are than penises status symbols cars.
3. Bikes are for kids. It's undignified to ride a kid's toy to work. And heaven forbid I sweat on the way to or home from work!

So nobody takes bikes to work... so nobody agitates to make Seoul more bike friendly outside of park space... the fact Seoul has lots of recreational biking options means that city planners can point at them and ignore the fact Seoul is terrifying to traverse, and horribly set up for bike commuters, and Seoul drivers are dreadfully unable to share the road with bikers, because they never have to.

Next time you're stuck in a Seoul traffic jam, though, I want you to think of this picture.
(source)


Will it always be this way? Probably not. Seoulites will figure it out. Eventually. The amount of recreational biking in Seoul has increased a lot lately, so that might be a good sign for the future of bike lanes and heedful drivers. Maybe when somebody brings more expensive bike brands into the country, so that people can use their bike brand like a North Face coat, and still compete for prestige while cycling, we'll see a change. Anyway, the pretend bike lane in front of Gyeongbok Palace annoys me, and I had to get that off my chest.

Rant over.

63 Years On - Screening on Sunday

I got an e-mail from a buddy named Shannon, who's a heck of a lady, and who's associated with the "House of Sharing" home for comfort women.

On Sunday, December 4, from 2-4pm in the theatre of Jogye Temple, one street over from Insadong, there's going to be a screening of a documentary film about the lives of these women, which I think you should go and see.

The poster: (click for full size)

the Facebook event page.

The press release ('coz I'm lazy)

‘Comfort women’ tell their story in a documentary film 

The documentary film “63 Years On” will be shown at a free screening at Jogyesa Temple Theatre on Sunday,  December 4th 2011.

This is an opportunity for both the Korean and International communities to further engage with the ‘Comfort women’ issue and to support the continuing fight for justice.

A brief Question & Answer session will take place after the film, an opportunity for those who wish to share their thoughts on the film and ask any questions to members of the House of Sharing’s International Outreach Team.

In this film, award-winning Korean director Kim Dong Won presents the harrowing experiences of 5 international survivors of Japanese Military Sexual Slavery during World War II. The very personal telling of their experiences is supported by excellent research and archival footage to create a powerfully honest, determined, and often heartbreaking documentary. While this gripping film may evoke great sadness and anger, the bravery displayed will truly inspire all who see it. The House of Sharing’s International Outreach Team works to raise awareness of the issue of Japanese military sexual slavery during World War II and to support the survivors, called Halmoni, in their on-going struggle for historical reconciliation and justice.  The team is composed of both foreign and local volunteers who lead English tours to the House of Sharing and the onsite Museum of Sexual Slavery by the Japanese Military.

The House of Sharing’s International Outreach Team also works to highlight continuing crimes against humanity, including the form of sexual violence during war and international sexual trafficking, that women and children across the world continue to experience on a daily basis. This screening provides a window to an episode of Asian and International history which has been willfully ignored by so many for more than 63 years. You are invited to join the House of Sharing and show your support to the survivors who continue the fight for justice.

Chuseok really Seoks this year: Rain in Seoul and Seyo's Got Good Timing

I may never have told you the story of the most touching gesture I had from a friend on Chuseok: in my first year, a buddy spent the whole day of Chuseok with me, down at Gyeongbok Palace and Namsangol Folk Village, because he couldn't imagine someone being alone on Chuseok day.  I was really touched by that.

This year, I'm with Wifeoseyo and her awesome family.  We drank some seriously classy Ballantine's whisky: me, my pop and brother-in-law, and have had a great old time bopping around Daegu.

This evening, Wifeoseyo got online and saw news reports that basically, Seoul is currently completely under water.


Here be a shot borrowed from news sources.

the images on the news are incredible, too.  Is it seriously like this?

(another - source)

So from a sensible person (say, wifeoseyo)'s perspective, looks like I got out of town just...in...time.

From a blogger's perspective, holy crap I'm missing out on the greatest blog photo essay this year!!!  And that's why bloggers are different from ordinary people.  Sensible people say "I'm not doing that.  That's buttflapping crazy!"  Bloggers say "I'm in.  Just let me get my camera."


The mad blogger in me wishes I was there, so I could put on my bathing suit, strap on some water wings, put my camera in a dicapac (got one for the honeymoon with coral) and go out exploring Seoul underwater... hoping I didn't get washed out to the Han River, like my buddy Joe almost did.

If you have a floody Seoul story, share it in the comments.

2S2 Anguk: Get Your Coffee Snob On!

Hey there coffee lovers!  Hope you're well... you may have heard of this thing called 2S2 that I regularly plan -- it's a come-as-you-are expat-and-anyone-else get-together aimed at meeting and making connections.

Well, this week, I'd like to share something that's given me much joy lately: coffee!  See, lately, in the Gyeongbokgung Station area, I've been finding a whole slew of amazing coffee shops, and I'd like to share them with my readers and friends.

So if you're free this Saturday, at 2pm, I'll be on the second floor of Twosome Place, near exit 1 of Anguk station, and anybody who comes out to meet up, will be treated to a coffee shop crawl of the neighborhood west of Gyeongbok Palace.  There are a handful of places there selling a variety of great beans, and slow-drip coffee, siphon coffee, and other stuff; they are also selling top-quality beans, and if you're a Seoul-based lover of coffee, I'll level with you, and tell you that you really need to come out and find out about these places!

Show up at 2pm, and don't be late: we'll be leaving fairly promptly, because the coffee at twosome place doesn't stack up, compared to the awesome places we'll visit thereafter.

Stop having these kinds of coffee experiences: (discarded dishwater coffee handed out before a concert I attended once)

and start having experiences like this:

and this... if it were coffee, instead of ice rink:

and this... not that luwak's on the menu, but you might make the face I make when I smell, and then sip it...

Happy Times...

I'm tired every day when I get home from work... but there's a lot of awesome in my life right now.

Here's a song to commemorate my happy.  "The Heart of Life (is good)" by John Mayer, whose soft rock belies a seriously skilled guitarist.



and here are a few pictures from my wedding and honeymoon:



My Step-Mom is a class act.  We got her some hanbok made, and she looked fantastic with Wifeoseyo's ma.


This bouquet was part of wifeoseyo's birthday celebration.  It isn't easy to get flowers in the maldives, but it was worth every penny, dear readers.  They were gorgeous, and perfect for the situation.


Here is a happy Seyo.


Wifeoseyo can make a coral blue sea and a champagne glass into a nifty photo.


She's also a hot silhouette.


We chose the right night to go on the sunset cruise: the other sunsets that week were mostly grey and disappointing, but we got gorgeous skies all the way from blue to gold to pink to purple to moonlight.


see?


Oh yeah.  Also my niece.


And my other niece.  This is one of the pictures I like most, of all the pictures I've taken.

The best thing about living in Korea...?

So I got stuck in a traffic jam this morning - more about driving in Seoul sometime soon, now that Wifeoseyo and I got a car...

but I have been accused of too much bitching on my blog lately, so it's time for something positive.

First off, being married is great.  Wifeoseyo is a champ, in every respect, and it's been an awesome time so far.  Got to hang out with the in-laws last weekend, and my one-year-old niece is super-cute, too.  She likes me.  We're only at the waving and smiling point so far, but that's OK with me.

Anyway, this last week, I've been taking full advantage of one of the things I love the most about Korea, and here it is:

Monday: grilled Mackerel, in a long-standing, well-known restaurant in my neighborhood: crisped brown, perfectly salted, purple rice (healthier) on the side.  4000 won.

Tuesday: hot pot bibimbap: the pot is so hot that the rice scorches against the inside of the bowl in which the bibimbap is served; I mix it, and then press the mixed rice against the sides of the bowl, to maximize the scorched flavor and texture.  Best bibimbap I've had in the city (as always, the best bibimbap, hands down, is in those little restaurants at the bottoms of mountain trails, right after climbing a mountain, but short of climbing a mountain, this is great).  The old ladies at this place know me, and know that I don't eat the "Yakult" cup, so they don't set it out on my tray.

Wednesday: maybe on Wednesday I'll go to "Halmoni Kalguksu" near Jongno 3-ga, in a tiny back-alley near subway exit six.

The old ladies there have kept their prices the same since the 1980s, according to wifeoseyo, who read about them, and they plan to continue that way until they die.

Plus, they're really cute old ladies:

Their kitchen is pretty sweet, too.

And maybe on Thursday, I'll head down to the dark, slightly sketchy street near my workplace, where you can pay 6000 won for a seafood pancake (해물파전) that's crisp, delicious, fresh, and big enough that two people can't finish it together in one sitting.

See, you never know where you'll find a brilliant gem of a restaurant - the narrowest back alley might bend around and reveal a line up out the door and around the next corner, where you'll eat your fill and then some from a few people who actually take pride in serving great food for a low price.  I'll tell you what: where I'm from, if the soup became famously delicious, it wouldn't take long for the soup's price to reflect the degree of fame it had achieved.  

I've heard Japanese food is great - but you've gotta seriously pay for the best of it.  I've heard French cuisine is similarly great - if you don't mind paying through the nose.  But in Korea, the best - seriously, the best Korean food, the most authentic Korean food experience, the most delicious food, and the food that reminds your Korean friends of their childhoods, is usually cheap as anything, loaded with more side dishes than you can eat, and in unpretentious farmhouses, or in bare-bones simple hole-in-the-wall restaurants in a back alley where directions to find it go like this: "Turn left, and then right, and then left, and then right, and if you reach the old lady husking garlic cloves on her front porch, you've gone too far."

And I love it.

Halmoni Kalguksu (pictured above) is closed on Sundays, and don't go during lunch hour, because the line goes out the door.  Here's the google map:

View Halmoni Kalguksu in a larger map

My Niece is Cute

One of the best thing about the wedding was the fact all but one of my nieces and nephews came to Korea to be at the wedding.  It was awesome!  My youngest niece (by one week) was the star of the show for a lot of the trip: her big blue eyes hypnotized the ajummas to give her free stuff, and she is very outgoing -- but just shy enough not to let anyone but her parents or relatives pick her up (fortunately).  Here, you can see her trying out her Korean (she understood what they meant, too), singing a song, kissing her new Aunty Wifeoseyo (we also call her Imo Wifeoseyo...except with her real name) and dancing to K-pop, as well as enjoying herself at the Morning Calm Garden.



One of the best parts was during the musical "Miso" at the Jungdong theater, which I highly, highly recommend: the cast of the musical spotted her sitting in the second row, and during the whole rest of the show they were sneaking peeks at her, waving at her, and the like.  Nieceoseyo, for her part, was an absolute doll: her mom (who directs plays back home) told Nieceoseyo to wave and blow kisses at the cast members, and they were total goners.  It was so fun to watch.  Even without the "the cast was flirting with my niece" part (they also flirted with my other nieces, who are three and eight, the show was great.

Finally, after the show finished, the cast came up to the Jungdong theater courtyard in full costume for some photo ops... but a lot of the people in the audience wanted pictures of my nieces and nephews instead!  :)

Paper Wedding Done

The good news is, if you wake up really early, you can get all the paper wedding work done in a morning.  Mrs. Roboseyo and I did exactly that yesterday.  The even better good news was that just in case there WERE lines, Jagiseyo (see what I'm doing here?) had cleared the entire day... and then we totally got the afternoon free.  So we went to Wood & Brick, a great bakery to visit in the evening, when their stocks are almost sold out, but an AMAAAZING bakery to visit in the morning, when the sourdough rye is still warm.  We loaded up on good breadstuffs, and had an easy afternoon that involved Seokchon Lake Park in Jamsil, the best Jajangmyeon I've had in my life, and a movie in Myeongdong.

And the paper wedding is done.  We're officially married, all three ways: in a church, in front of a crowd, and in the district office.

The only drawback was that the Korean district office needed a week to send the official certificate, which means that while I got 80% of the immigration work done to apply for my F-2 (marriage) visa, I'll have to go back there with that documents to get the final stamp on it.

Fortunately for Yobo-seyo, the immigration official was very understanding about her work schedule, and said that if I find her back when I return later, Wifeoseyo doesn't need to be there in person, so long as I have all the documents she needed.

Anyway, we saw "Salt" - the new Angelina Jolie movie, which has made me decide/realize two things.

1. Angelina Jolie is the most convincing female hollywood action hero since Sigourney Weaver in the Alien movies.  Who else is even in the running?  Mila Jovovich for Resident Evil, Uma Thurman for Kill Bill (but have you seen "My Super Ex-Girlfriend"? Just about cancels it all out.)  Michelle Rodruigez, but she's having trouble graduating from "Member of the rag-tag group who saves the day" to "Serious headliner"  Anybody I'm missing?  And don't you dare say the Charlie's Angels' ladies.  Michelle Yeoh kicks ALL their asses sideways till tuesday... that's why I said "Hollywood female action heroes"

2. If you're a major hollywood star, and you throw a bone to Korean audiences, they will reward you with SO much love, and probably an extra half-million ticket receipts.  Hugh Jackman, Angelina Jolie, Nicholas Cage: they visited Seoul, and said some nice things about the country and the food, and now Roboseyette absolutely adores them.  (conversely, if you are mean about Korea, you may face a backlash... sometimes with a long memory.  Oprah.)

Then, the big bummer of the day:

I've always said I love that Korea's a really honest country: I once left my shoulder-bag on the back of a chair in a PC room and the next morning it was still there, un-touched, and un-looted.  On the other hand, maybe the law of averages had to exert itself:

After having a really, really wonderful day, in the taxi on the way home, I realized that my wallet was missing.  And it was full of cash - full - after I'd changed almost a year's worth of coin-change into cash this week.  It might have fallen out of my pocket during the movie (which wasn't that impressive - Manchurian Candidate + more explosions, basically), but I'm pretty conscientious about that stuff; I think it might have been pick-pocketed.  Bummer.

Also gone: my Alien Registration Card, my Korean Driver's License, my Korean bank card, my Canadian bank card, and my Canadian credit card.  Some frequent user stamp cards from some coffee shops.  An old student ID card with a really funny picture which I'd kept in there to crack people up (totally irreplaceable).  My costco card. (NNNNOOOOOOOOO!)

NOT gone:
My birth certificate, which I fortuitously removed from the wallet this afternoon thinking, "It's best not to carry this around everywhere"
My passport
My Canadian driver's license
--which is to day, I didn't lose anything that's worse than inconvenient or annoying to replace, except that student card.  Made the phone calls, froze my credit cards - nobody'd tried to use them, anyway, and now I have to ask them to issue me a new Alien Card at Immigration, I guess.  Came out of it relatively unharmed... though a little humbled, a little more cautious, and large payer of the "stupid tax" this month.

So... here's the choice:

Wifeoseyo
Yobo-seyo
Mrs. Roboseyo
Roboseyette
Jagiseyo

and while The Mrs. has final veto, and I'm giving myself five votes, I'm making a poll: how do you think I should refer to the Mrs. on my blog, now that we're married?

Korea-Uruguay in City Hall

Went down to City Hall to see Korea vs. Uruguay.  Missed the other games in a public, mob-setting, so I'm glad I went out to catch that one.

As game action goes, Uruguay looked really sharp on the goals they scored, and Korea will rue that goalpost free-kick in the first ten minutes. Uruguay was dumb to lay back and let Korea attack for the beginning of the second half, but the way they scored to re-take the lead made it look like they'd been toying with Korea all along. On the other hand, the Uruguayan goalie was forced to make some pretty tough stops on some very impressive setups...but he did. All in all, Korea put in a good effort, but didn't quite have the chops to top Uruguay; however, they should hold their heads high. They put forth a very respectable showing this year. The crowd was the main reason I went, though the wind went out of those sails after Uruguay's first goal; however, it's still worthwhile to get out and join tens of thousands of Korea soccer fans once every four years: the atmosphere, especially before the kickoff, is great.

And there was barely any booing of the Uruguayan National Anthem! One drunk guy near me was shouting shut up, and a few people booed in the first five seconds, and then stopped: it seemed like they got shushed by people around them who actually knew what sports are for.

The crowds, then:

The station was a madhouse, with police shepherding people to the correct exits, and blocking others.


Because it was dark, and rainy, the photos I took around city hall had longer exposures, and they have a kind of blurry, dreamy quality.  I like that.  The crowd here was awesome during the build up to the game, but as soon as Uruguay took the lead, it started kind of sucking.



These three very nice people are students at the KDI, from central-asian countries.  They invited me to watch the game with them.  I did, until the crowd behind us decided to sit, and told us to sit, which would have meant parking my but in a puddle, which sounds like the opposite of fun to me, so I took off to get more pictures of other areas.








Heres' a video of what the scene was like.


By Gwanghwamun, the cheering section was nicer, the crowds weren't so insane, and the atmosphere was generally more laid back.  In a good way.

Maybe my best crowd shot of city hall.  I didn't have my camera out as much as I'd have liked, because it was getting rained on, and I don't want my camera messed up with water damage right before my family comes to Korea, I get married, and I go on a honeymoon.  That'd, like, suck.


raindrops on the lens: looks nice, unless you're the one who paid for a camera that's getting wet.




after a while, the crowd called on people to stow their umbrellas, which made better viewing but fewer layers to the photos.  I lost my umbrella.  I lost two umbrellas this weekend, and gave a third away.





Gwanghwamun plaza wasn't too busy.


I was lucky enough to be filming when Korea scored... that reaction, and some of these other reactions to some close calls, are worth a watch as well.



Down the sides of Gwanghwamun Plaza was a big display of Korea's world cup history.

I especially liked this frame: I had no idea color film wasn't invented until after 1986.



or that giving birth to opposing players was legal during gameplay.


A lot of people were happy to pose for the cameras.

Some of them gave me  cigarette smelling hugs.  (not these ones, though)]


These next two pictures are cool: I like the way these two young people were totally rapt with the game action.




And the giant poo watched over it all.  and it was good.


Sejong and Admiral Lee weren't as into the game action as the rest.  Maybe the team could have used admiral Lee as a coach.  Except he'd have invented "Turtle cleats", and that might not have gone so well in a game of speed.

Other than city hall proper, the crowd was relatively sparse.  Rain'll do that.


Most of the world cup, uh, fashion, was covered in raincoats... but I caught a picture of this little group.