Roboseyo's Guilty Pleasure Corner: The Rise of the Craptacle

So, it's been so hot lately, and without an air conditioner, I've been feeling like this guy: (face-melting wrath of God warning: Raiders of The Lost Ark)


Been going to the movies lately, too (mmm. Big, air-conditioned rooms) and got to watch my childhood in some big action movies.

And I'm still not sure whether my childhood has been violated, or whether Transformers and GI Joe got EXACTLY the movies they deserved.

Transformers 2 starred this guy.


And I have to agree with this (must, must, must read) review: "Michael Bay Finally Made an Art Film"

See, I kind of thought, with Titanic, that movie budgets had reached a breaking point: I remember a movie reviewer predicting that the failure of spectacles like Pearl Harbor would lead to movie studies giving up on glamour and spectacle, simplifying, and going for lower budgets with better characterization and writing, because sinking a hundred mill into one movie was just too risky, when that hundred mill could instead be used to support smaller projects that, even with modest returns, would be turning profits. We overestimated Hollywood. Instead of budgets becoming smaller and stories becoming more important, Hollywood's swung exactly the opposite way these last few summers.



The first death-knell of story was the rise of the sequel: when The Mummy Returns made more money (and was actually a better movie) than The Mummy, when X-Men was written specifically in order to spawn sequels, and when the first couple of Batman Sequels were reasonably watchable and profoundly profitable, sequels became a safer bet, which put less stress on original story ideas.

The second death-knell were the especially bad sequels like Matrix: Revolutions and Pirates of the Carribean 3, which seemed to show us that audiences don't really even care about consistency of story: familiar characters moving through familiar scenarios with ever-bigger set-pieces and effects was enough to put bums in movie seats. Character died? Who cares? Bring them back! Logic? What's logic? If the movie's loud enough audiences won't notice logic until they're in the bathroom after the movie's finished. Case in point: Terminator 3.



The next death-knell was the rise of high-speed internet. You see, acting, good writing, and well-plotted stories show up just as well on my computer screen as on the big screen, so why wouldn't I download that art film which I heard was really well-made? In fact, the only element of a movie that DOESN'T show up just as well on a computer screen is spectacle. That means big, sweeping cinematography (Lord of the Rings), or big, noisy explosions are the only thing that can give watchers an experience they can't get at home by downloading... so is it any surprise movie studios are loading up on exactly that... even at the expense of stuff like story, dialog, and characterization?

We're slowly, inexorably, moving toward this, and I've got a name for it. A craptacle. Spectacle + crap = craptacle.



And with Transformers, Die Still Harder Than You Ever Thought About Dying Before!, Terminator, G.I. Joe, X-Men Wolverine, and last year's Indiana Jones 4: all either sequels or meant to have them, all profitable, but all crap, as well as noisy failures like Speed Racer and profitable but unlikely to have a sequel movies like Hancock, the craptacle is the latest genre to take over Hollywood. Often they're sequels, but not always: Speed Racer was a non-sequel craptacle, but then, it was a manga adaptation, which isn't far off: several other graphic novel adaptations have come dangerously close to being craptacles, and if it weren't so ponderously paced, Watchmen would have been.



So they're dumb. Epically dumb. But they aren't pretending to be anything other than exactly that. And the funny thing is, as long as the movies know they're dumb, I'll forgive them, just like as long as Abba sings cheesy songs about dancing and fuzzy bunnies, they're a great dance band, and I'll forgive them. If Abba had gone through an existential phase where they tried to channel Bob Dylan, I wouldn't buy it. Nobody would - that's why Abba never made a Bob Dylan album. That's why Michael Bay didn't direct Kate Winslet's latest Oscar vehicle, and will probably never work with Meryl Streep (unless she wants to get paid). If it succeeds at being dumb and fun, well, they hit the mark they were aiming for, didn't they?



But the funny thing is... my expectations have gotten so low for Hollywood movies, that I'll take it. Go ahead and make a dumb movie about stuff blowing up. Just make one or two of the characters likeable, and don't offend me, and blow the stuff up REAL GOOD and that's enough. The racist tweedledee and tweedledum in Transformers offended me; other than that, it was an amazing craptacle, and a hilariously stupid way to kill some time. Plus, remember that part where Sam's mom totally ate a pot brownie? Or that part where those other decepticons totally joined together into a mega-decepticon? Or the way the mega-decepticon had balls? Or when the old transformer farted and a parachute came out? Or when Optimus Prime stole parts from that other Autobot (who might have been Leader 1 of the Gobots trying to sneak in for a cameo) and became Optimus President's Super Prime With A Baked Potato? That was awesome! I mean, (SPOILER ALERT, NOT THAT SPOILERS MATTER) how much awesomer can you get than a movie with not just one, but TWO resurrections from the dead during the final scene? AND a Mega-Optimus transformation, too! I think I just peed a little bit in my pants!

I feel like Chris Farley in those SNL skits where he'd interview movie stars, but instead of asking them questions, he'd just say things like "Remember that time when your character jumped out of a helicopter and landed in a convertible and said, 'I'd like that to go' -- that was so awesome!"

Ditto for G.I. Joe: in which the underwater arctic fortress hit the self-destruct button, and when it started blowing up, huge chunks of ice started to fall. But who cares? There were NINJAS! And they blowed up a buncha stuff, plus, they blowed it up real good! And blowing stuff up real good is FUN! So yeah. Let turn loose your inner seven-year old (and what seven-year-old won't suspend disbelief all the way down the block?) and bring earplugs if you like (it's not like the dialog is really worth it anyway), and enjoy the heck out of the next craptacle to come to your theatre!

It's my new guilty pleasure, and I barely feel guilty at all.

In the Irony Section at Kyobo Bookstore

I've totally changed my mind. the Misuda girls are dignified representatives of our various cultures

Really, it's like a model united nations there! Just look at this clip.

On Ugly English Teachers and Racist Korean Journalists, Part 3: Yeah, Some Introspection is Called For, but not from You, Ms. Choi

On Ugly English Teachers and Racist Korean Journalists: Let's not all crap our pants now Part 3:
Yeah, Some Self-Reflection Is Called For, but not From You, Ms. Choi

This post is one entry in a series:
On Ugly English Teachers and Racist English Teachers: Let's not all Crap our Pants Now: Intro
Part 1: But You're TEACHERS!
An Open Letter to new English Teachers in Korea
Part 2: Why, Yes, Korea DOES have a Batshit Media! Why do you ask?
Part 3: Yeah, Some Self-Reflection Is Called For, but not From You, Ms. Choi
Part 4: Racism, Culture-shock, Acclimation and Integration in Minjokland
Part 5: The PR Campaign: 'Seyo's Marching Orders

No, Choi Hui-seon is not the one to ask the English teaching community to do a little introspection, though whoever sent that name-calling text-message SHOULD think a little more carefully about the fact that HOW one does something is sometimes just as important as WHAT one is doing. Especially when it concerns actions which might be taken to represent one's community.

Ms. Choi has a lot of self-examination of her own to do, looking more carefully at why she is so quick to measure a population by its low-water mark, and whether she would want other countries to treat expat and immigrant Koreans as harshly as she treats us. Packs of Americans roving the streets to torch Korean-owned grocers in the wake of the Cho Seung-hui VT Massacre is what we'd have if the world were as quick to profile outsiders as Ms. Choi, but I'm sure she hasn't thought of that. But then, she's not the only one who's been calling on the English teacher community to take a look inward.

Brian Deutsch has expressed similar thoughts, and while on the Seoulpodcast, Joe Zenkimchi has assured us that the Expat English Teacher's douche proportion is decreasing, there's more we can do, if only so that we know our footing before we head into the arena.

The old philosopher Sun Tsu said that "If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result". Now that's a nice, tidy, over-simplification, to be sure, but it's how Batman defeats much more powerful enemies, time and time again, and while it's unhelpful to start off assuming the Korean media has an antagonist hard-on for us, and I don't like framing the English Teacher/Korean Media relationship in military terms, we need to take an honest look at the English teaching community in Korea, in order to at least know the position from which we are responding to the racism and scapegoating which targets us as a group. In the last article, I looked a bit at Korea's media, so now it's time to look inward.

Here are a few features of our community. What can we do about it? Well, let's talk about it to begin with.

The expat community at large, and even the English teacher community in particular, have been accused before of being too disjointed, too diverse and fractious, to ever amount to more than the sum of its parts; in fact, thanks to the actions of a few, and the reporting on those actions by a few journalists, I'd even submit that the English teacher population has so far amounted to significantly LESS than the sum of its parts. The famous Scott Burgeson, who will appear on the comment board if I write his name three times, even formulated Bethell's Law, which states

"the foreign community in Korea has always been much too fragmented, transient and diverse to broadly support any publications that fail to hew closely and safely to the proverbial lowest common denominator. That is as true today as it was a hundred years ago, if not more so."

Now, Baeksu was talking about publications like his own defunct zine, Korea Bug, however, since he coined Bethell's law, the basic meme, that expats in Korea are too fragmented and diverse to broadly support...anything, has grown to cover other abortive expat endeavors as well, particularly the attempt to form a functional community.

And it's true. The fractious and diverse part, that is. The English teachers in Korea run the entire gamut from human train-wrecks to model citizens, from ex-burger-flippers plying on their community college chemistry degree, to kickass, highly trained career educators, from one-year transients to long-term, rooted, and deeply entrenched. According to Scott Burgeson (that's two), the attempt to form a teacher's union in Japan failed, because there were too many disparate interests: it was like herding cats to administer such a fractious group. (Can't find the source: it's on a comment board somewhere)

So why bother trying?

Well, for one, the people who are trying to stiff us ARE organized: Anti-English Spectrum and the Hogwan Owners' Association are active operations trying to toss our reputations or our rights in the shitter, and some members of both associations have the ears of people in high places, if it's true what my friend said after joining The Anti-English Spectrum to get access to its archives and reading around; without groups in place to push back, we're done!

Also, even though we're a wildly diverse group, we are thought of by many? most? Koreans in the collective. Nobody stops to check the color of your passport before shouting "Yankee, go home!" ("Oh, actually, Mr. Aggressive drunk guy, I'm from New Zealand, so kindly direct your racist hate elsewhere" "Oh! So sorry! Loved Lord of the Rings! Have a nice day, my precious!" "Haha. I've never heard that before.") nobody stops and checks how well you speak Korean before calling your Korean date a whore or a blood traitor (to steal a phrase from Harry Potter). Nobody checks the stamp in your passport and verifies your visa status before lumping you into the "probable unqualified miscreant, possible HIV carrier, pedophile, drug-user" category. E-2, E-5, F-2, E-whatever and whatever the F, those letter-number combinations mean nothing to that drunk guy cursing you (or your significant other) in the street, and I'm an ignorant fool if I think I haven't been slapped in the same boat as the rest of all's y'all, just because "I'm a nice guy" or "I speak Korean pretty well" or "I've been here a long time," or "I have lots of Korean friends, and they tell me I'm not one of 'those' foreigners (are you carrying around a letter of reference to show to the drunken thugs looking to start something? Think it'll help?)". We're in this boat together, folks, and the sooner we start acting it, the better off we'll be.

So yeah, we ARE A fractious community, but in some areas, we DO share interests.
We want our rights to be protected.
We want to get paid what we were promised for the work we do.
We want our bosses to keep the promises they made in the contract, and to deal with us legally.
We want to have recourse when the shit hits the fan.
We want to be treated equally under Korean law.
We want to be covered in the media in the same way Korean professions and groups are treated (that is, a moral failure by one isn't made out to define the entire group),

Even if we have different goals and reasons for being in Korea in other areas, we should be able to lock elbows on those issues, and recognize that if one of us is exploited or stereotyped, that opens the door for any of us to be exploited or stereotyped. It's not Tommy Expat's fault his boss screwed him over any more than it's Jane Shortskirt's fault someone grabbed her ass in the stairwell, and blaming the victim does nothing to change an atmosphere where people feel free to take liberties without consequences.

Consider too that the deck is stacked against us in another way: every legal English teacher in Korea and most of the illegal ones, I'll guess, are university educated citizens from some of the richest, most advanced and privileged countries in the world. Plus, by default, we speak the lingua franca! It's harder for us to stir up the same kind of sympathy that a battered Indonesian housewife with nowhere to turn could, or the illegal Chinese worker who can't even buy a plane ticket home, and would have nothing waiting for her there anyway, so she starts considering the sex trade. I doubt any of us, ever, have considered the sex trade as a next option if our hagwon jobs go sour, but that's the reality migrant workers from other countries face.

Because of this, we have a bit of that "poor little rich kid" resentment going against us, which means that people simply feel less sympathy for us. I think this is where some of the "If you don't like it, go home" responses come from... I'm still convinced that's a totally unhelpful response: nobody gets any farther ahead, and everybody loses a chance to learn, and/or make a difference, if we have no recourse but to go home if we don't like things; however, the question remains, in a way that is much more poignant for us Canadians, New Zealanders, Americans, Brits, Irish, and South Africans (six of the seven E2 eligible countries rank higher than Korea on the Human Development Index) than it is for, say, Cambodians, Vietnamese, or Phillipinos whose "if you don't like it, go home" strands them in a much worse state.

We're choosing to be here, for whatever reason. If putting up with the bullshit is cramping our style too much, we CAN go home (even those of us who are married to Koreans: it would be easier to convince the in-laws to let their son/daughter emigrate to Canada or Ireland than to convince them that better opportunities await if we return to the hometown in rural Vietnam). We have that option, at least much more than other expat workers in Korea.

It should be reiterated too that sometimes (as several people mentioned during the "why do expats complain?" series) Korea online is a lot less fun than Korea in real life, and reading fifty other "my boss is screwing with me" stories at Dave's makes workplace frustration that much worse, and leads us toward making blanket judgements, where it'd do us better to climb a mountain, see a great view, and then get back to wrestling with the boss with a clear mind.




So as for forming a community... do we want that? What would that community look like? And, would it be worth the effort?

Well, first off, we're never going to include every teacher. We're spread out too far and wide geographically, and too many people come and go too often, and the internet isn't quite a powerful enough binding force to create community and unity on its own.

Meanwhile, a lot of the meaningful connections that DO form between expats get broken by people returning home, or otherwise moving on. This sucks. Seriously, it recently passed The Language Barrier as the biggest ongoing frustration/downer about living in Korea. I'm tired of pouring my energy down a hole, so to speak, and having nothing to show for the friendship-building work I put in, every time another meaningful connection splits.

Between the diversity and the transience, no, we're never going to be as tight and interpersonally connected as a church congregation in a small town, for example, where everyone grew up side by side. The cohesion that develops just won't here.

Yet it remains crucial that we STILL find a community of some kind, and put some energy into it. Organic communities fall apart when people leave; this is why I recommend people form and join structured communities with clearly defined roles, which have an easier time perpetuating than social groups that formed through interpersonal chemistry. "The group's communications director is going home next month. Who will take on the job of writing update e-mails?" is an easier conversation to have than "Janice was good at mediating Tom and Anna's arguments. Who will smooth things over after she goes?" Clearer roles make high turnover easier to negotiate.

Personally, the sooner I accept the revolving door as coming with the territory, the better I can cope, and make the best of what I've got. For a bit of pure speculation, I suspect this is why a lot of long-term Koreexpats end up losing touch with the first and second year teachers: we have less in common with them after a while. We get tired of hearing the same stories and complaints we heard last year when that other pal was new, and we end up investing in the people who are going to be around for a while, forming a kind of inside clique, the invitation-only veterans' club. I suppose this is natural...but on the other hand, it's a shame. In the same way it sucks that those with a lot of Korean ability often are out of touch with the expats who would benefit most from their ability (probably for the same reasons), it sucks too that those who have been here a long time also lose touch with the hoi polloi English teachers.

The variety of people you meet can be stimulating, if you approach it the right way, and the payoff might be surprising, if we DID let down the guard and let more newbies past the defenses. It might lead to more of those short-termers deciding to stay longer, and put more into this place.

And as for resources, a quick inventory reveals: Korean Media Watch, ATEK, Korea Beat's mad translation skills, Popular Gusts' mad research skills, The Wagner Report, an online sector more connected than ever before, and often making the leap from online to real life, and a lot of people saying, "I wish there was more" so let's get behind what we have, and look forward to what comes next. Anything I'm missing?

So our community DOES need work. Sure, we're only humans, but there's more we could be doing both in our willingness to help eachother out and our willingness to put ourselves forward in the kinds of groups that WOULD stand up for us. For example, I'd like to see more of the expats who have been here long enough to acquire the level of Korean needed to help in something like an anti-defamation committee, offer up their abilities to a help the community. I'm sure there are enough of you that, if we networked well, nobody would be taking on too much work.

At this point, a lot of the veterans, and especially those who really speak the language, seem to go native instead, and drift out of touch with the expat teachers who lack the language chops to defend themselves from Choi Hui-seon and her ilk. This would seem to be Bethell's law in effect; however, I'd be happy to be proven wrong on this point.

Meanwhile, this wildly diverse group has only one association. ATEK will have its hands full trying to represent every type of English teacher who's signed up there, given so much variance in training level, time of stay, visa status, region, and type of institute. I submit that instead of just one, we English teachers should have five organizations operating simultaneously, so that the different groups can focus on the needs of different types of teachers. Why not a Native Hogwan Teachers' Association, a Public School Foreign English Teacher's Association, an F-Visa Holder's Association, a Long-Term E-Visa Holder's Association, and an Anti-Defamation Committee for starters, all pitching for their different interests, and then coming together with one voice on the big stuff. That'd be friggin' AWESOME, and good God, we need all the help we can get! On the other hand, it'd also be good to get some good support, in numbers, energy and effort, behind the one organization that already HAS formed, to make sure it gets rolling. We haven't heard a lot from ATEK since its National Council formed (though I hope members have heard more than I have, not yet being a member myself), but I wish for nothing more than for every association, interest group, hobby club, book club and drama-kids circle to flourish, gain members, and meet more often.

Finally, though we aren't as cohesive as that small-town church, we DO share some pressing concerns, if only because we share the same, or at least a similar lot, and it's time to start initiating and supporting groups that articulate those concerns. Arguing for maintaining the status quo of being a silent, easy target is not enough when there are organized groups mobilizing and peddling influence explicitly to make things WORSE for us here, and the option to go home is moot when some of us do not have that option, and even if we DO throw up our hands and go home, the teacher brought in to replace us will inherit a shit sandwich, thanks to our disengaged apathy.

It's time to recognize that we ARE a community, folks, and start to act accordingly. We need to take responsibility for what we ARE, by taking a good look at ourselves, for what we want, by forming groups and speaking out, AND For How We Are Perceived. That public perception war is pervasive, every veteran and newbie is part of it, whether we want to be or not, and it trumps everything else we are doing as a community when party photos hit Naver's front page. Each new teacher coming to Korea should be made aware of the state of Native Teacher Nation in Korea, and if necessary, admonished not to bung up the public opinion war we are fighting. That talk should be part of the "Welcome to Korea" introduction, along with "Let me show you the nearest supermarket," and it should come from a peer, a drinking buddy or a fellow foreign coworker, not from a manager or supervisor, and certainly not from a Korean boss or manager. We need to keep our own in check, which is part of what every community does, in order to be seen as something better than our own low-water mark, and hopefully to one day equal, and then amount to more than, the sum of our parts.

And you know what? Now is the time!

Stay tuned for part 4: Racism, Acclimation and Integration in Minjokland

Speaking of Korea's messed-up media...

remember that foreign girl who was raped? turns out the Korea Times and the Chosun Ilbo [thanks, Brian] never even talked to her before making up her quotes and writing up her story.

Story in the Korea Herald

Maybe this is my western judgement of Korean culture, but I still think it's messed up that criminals can often pay in order to have their prison sentence reduced, and that such "blood money" deals are often brokered by the police. In some cases, it almost comes across as "hush money"

HT to Extra Korea

Took this picture of Gwanghwamun Square

Idle Thought:

Isn't the book 1000 Places to See before you die a kind of cruel trick? I mean, how many people in the whole durn world would have enough free time and coin to see all 1000? Any number larger than 100 and it starts seeming a bit overwhelming, doesn't it? I've always thought 7 was a good, concise number: 7 wonders of the world are about right.

In a similar vein, I've always fantasized about writing a satirical book titled "72 Tips to Unclutter Your Mind"

In other news, last week I was walking around between Euljiro and Chungmuro, and saw this sweet little alley. I love that right down the street from one of the busiest urban centers in the world, and around two corners, there's a little back alley like this.

On Ugly English Teachers and Racist Korean Journalists, Part 2: Why, Yes, Korea DOES have a Bats&!# Media! Why do you ask?

On Ugly English Teachers and Racist Korean Journalists: Let's not all crap our pants now Part 2: Why, Yes, Korea DOES have a Batshit Media! Why do you ask?

Table of contents:
On Ugly English Teachers and Racist English Teachers: Let's not all Crap our Pants Now: Intro
Part 1: But You're TEACHERS!
An Open Letter to new English Teachers in Korea
Part 2: Why, Yes, Korea DOES have a Batshit Media! Why do you ask?
Part 3: Yeah, Some Self-Reflection Is Called For, but not From You, Ms. Choi
Part 4: Racism, Culture-shock, Acclimation and Integration in Minjokland
Part 5: The PR Campaign: 'Seyo's Marching Orders

OK. Last time, I talked about what we English teachers can do to avoid living down to the sterotypes written about us. I'd like to spend one more sentence emphasizing that... This. Stereotyping. Goes. Both. Ways.. When Westerners say that Koreans are all credulous drones ready to swallow any piece of drivel the media serves up, it grates on the sane, savvy, Korean media consumers just as much as it annoys US when Choi HuiSeon says the whole lot of us is no better than that one yahoo who published that one blog that one time about selling fake diplomas. It's exactly the same thing: holding up the dokdo-finger-choppers as the quintessential Korean is just as lazy and flip and unfair as Lee Eun-eung telling everybody that none of us are any better than the worst photo of the worst night of the worst of us.

In fact, let's extend that a little farther, and acknowledge as well that, despite the title of this post, it is ALSO irresponsible of us to unequivocally say, "Korea has a batshit media," painting it all with the same brush: just as with the deviant English teachers being held up as the norm, let's remember that the racist smear job is, for all we know, the deviation, rather than the norm, as well, and let's also remember that the media in our home countries, be it British tabloids publishing addresses of sex offenders or Fox "Barack Hussein Obama" news, can be pretty batshit insane, too. At best, it would be hypocritical for us to be selective and generalise about the Korean media's selective reporting, ya know? And yeah, that "what I know of it" qualifier pretty much has to stand until I can read enough Korean to see for myself.

Alright. So now that that's been said, let's move on to what exactly IS going on when these kinds of reports get printed.

In the English language Korean media:

It's one thing when Korea's English media publishes this kind of junk. The Korea Times is fond of these kinds of stories, as we know... we also know that The Korea Times' circulation more often ends up in the hands of Koreans studying English than it ends up in the hands of anybody, Korean OR otherwise, using it as an authoritative news source for world news. We all have other sources, and even for our K-news, we mostly read the Korea Times to get riled up or offended...admit it. Frankly, one of the main reasons I end up going back to The Korea Times, despite all its faults, is because out of all the Korean English news websites, it has the best layout, so it's an easier source to access what I'm interested in reading. That's all. Like that psycho ex who's always good for a booty call, it's hard to stay away, even when you know all the baggage that comes with. Any time a story comes up, if it's important enough for us to read the entire article, or get upset enough to write about it, it's also important enough that we cross-check it against other sources and news feeds, isn't it? There's no real need to get SO worked up about it, when you consider all the other sources people are using. It comforts me to remember that Koreans usually use English media sources for English practice, not for forming their final opinions on English teachers, so in the end, all the times and similar sources really accomplish with these stories is make Korea look bad to those who DO check it as a local source, to learn about Korea, so again, lets not all crap our pants here, OK?

And why the hate-on for English teachers in English K-media sources? Who knows? To venture a guess... perhaps it's for a bit of vicarious, passive-aggressive revenge. See, a lot of Koreans living in Korea kind of resent that their bosses demand that they improve their ability in a language they rarely, if ever, use. If they've achieved a high enough level to read the Korea Times, they've had tons of time to build up a nice, healthy hate-on for the forces that insist they study English, and if reading a bunch of teacha-hating on The Times' pages gives them a bit of satisfaction, bully for them. Anybody who's studied English enough to read The Times MUST have had enough interaction with Foreign English Teachers to have formed their own impressions of Foreign English Teachers, and to identify the smell of bullshit when The Times starts trolling... right?

So, given all that, can we cool the histrionics over English language smear jobs on English teachers? Actually, on second thought, we don't NEED to cool the histrionics, because there's nothing more fun than getting all righteous and angry on a comment board somewhere, but there's no REAL need to get QUITE so worked up, unless it IS just for the fun of it.

That leaves hack jobs and hit pieces published in the Korean language media, and this IS cause for a little more concern. See, if these hit pieces are written in the English media, we can rest assured that anybody with enough English to read it, also has enough of the global perspective that intensively studying a language provides, that they'll have the savvy to take such one-sided junk with a grain of salt. However, when it's happening BEHIND the language barrier, it's a bit more problematic, first because foreign teachers might not know about it, and have no chance to respond, but more dangerously, because some? many? most? monolingual Koreans DON'T have the experience with global citizens that comes of learning English, or any other language. This increases the risk that, for some? many? of these kinds of people, ALL THEY KNOW about foreign English teachers is what they're told. This is dangerous: in the same way that, as Kushibo reminds us, getting all our information about Korea from K-blogs will draw in our minds a mental picture of what I like to call a composite FrankenKorean -- a mix-and-match patchwork of all the wackiest, worst stories we've heard about Koeans at their craziest, which, while originally based in stuff that actually happened, after so much selective filtering, has almost no resemblance to any single Korean we might encounter. In the same way, and for the same reasons (that is, being trapped on opposite sides of the language barrier blocks us from understanding each other more accurately) if Koreans are only getting second hand information about foreigners and foreign teachers, depending on those sources, we might end up with a frankenTeacher just as easily -- the portrait of an English teacher we have seen before on Anti-English Spectrum and other media scare-bits, but which, just like FrankenKorean, has no resemblance to any ACTUAL human beings whatsoever, at the end of the day. When it occurs in the Korean media, it is more dangerous, because of the increased danger of profiling, and because of our diminished ability to defend ourselves. This is where I believe it IS time for an English Teacher Anti-Defamation committee to form, whether associated with other English teacher organizations or not. I would like, love, to see a group established that is in touch with the Korean Press Arbitration Committee, the National Human Rights Commission of Korea, and the editors of Korea's major papers, as well as some major news sources elswehere, and (to inflate my own importance) the kinds of bloggers who are often the shock troops when media slur-jobs come up, in order to make sure that Korean media decision-makers know that English teachers, and the international community, ARE paying attention, and we will not stand for being ripped unfairly, and we know where to go, what to do, and who to call, if it happens, so that some semblance of accountability develops. I'd join the club myself if it existed, but I wouldn't be much help to it, because my own Korean is rubbish, and such a project would require bilingual humanpower. But I'd still join, and fill out forms, or draft letters for someone to translsate, or whatever.

A couple more things need to be said here.

One: English teachers are not Korea's only whipping boys and girls. At other times, the Korean media scapegoats lawyers, lawmakers, chaebol owners, private academies, the political left, the political right, the politicized church, the rich and arrogant, the poor and angry, Japan, and everything associated with Japan, and America, and everything associated with America, have all been tapped as the source of what ails Korea, too. We English teachers actually get a pretty small slice of the blame-shifting pie, in the grand scheme of things.

Two: (Most) Koreans know this. Seriously, Koreans know their media isn't working the way it should, and that should be acknowledged. And if I approach conversations with Koreans about Korea's media in a high-handed "You know, where I come from, the media is..." attitude, I'm going to dig myself a hole if I forget the all-important qualifiers: some, often, sometimes, it seems, when I talk about this stuff. Koreans ain't as credulous as they are made out to be on comment boards about Mad Bull Shit, and telling them they are won't make you any friends. It's also intellectually lazy.

So yeah, the Korean media CAN be batshit, and yeah, English teachers should be banding together to speak out against media hysteria, but a lot of Koreans also want a new media, and know that it's messed up, know that the connection between the media and big money, the media and the government, the media and political extremists, are not how they should be, and Korean journalists are taking part in this corrupt culture instead of stepping out of it. Yeah, excuses can be made that Korea's still learning how to have a free press: depending on who you ask, the Korean media has only been free from government intervention since 1987 or 1993, or some would say it still isn't, or that it's just as deep in the pockets of big money as it used to be in the pockets of big government. But many of Korea's people aren't satisfied with this situation either, so, as one of the wisest blog comments I've read at The Marmot's Hole (Yeah. How about that!) says (wish I could find it back) it helps us to consider Korea like a construction site, with a big sign at the entrance saying, "Work in Progress. Pardon the Mess". Korea hasn't had a whole lot of time to put the pieces in the right places, so yeah, we should be part of the dialogue on deciding where the pieces should go, but we should also be patient. I'll talk about this more in part 4.

Stay tuned for
On Ugly English Teachers and Racist Korean Journalists, Part 3: Yeah, Some Self-Reflection is Called For, but not From You, Ms. Choi

oh and one more thing: winky or no winky, it's still insulting; there are a dozen politer ways to have drawn attention to this.

So I got to meet my nieces and nephews

I met my nieces and nephews while in Canada, two of them for the first time, and they're great.

Here are some pictures, and a video clip.


My brother's kid, Silas.My favorite pictures of him are a series I took while he was playing with my hat.


This is how Silas moves around.

There are fewer pictures of my other nieces and nephews, not because I took fewer, but because fewer turned out really well, or because their cutest moments were while I didn't have my camera out.

My oldest sister's family turned out best in pictures involving spectacular scenery from the town where they live.
I love this picture because Silas is just about to bail after tripping on his Dad's foot.
The best picture I took of my niece, Aria. She's super-cute, and her huge eyes make her face mega-expressive.

There's more, but most of that's just for the family. They were great, and I'm so glad I got a chance to meet the two youngest, finally.

On Ugly English Teachers and Racist Korean Journalists: Part 1: But You're TEACHERS!

On Ugly English Teachers and Racist Korean Journalists:
Let's not all crap our pants now
Part 1: But You're TEACHERS!

Here is the table of contents to the series: On Ugly English Teachers and Racist English Teachers: Let's not all Crap our Pants Now: Intro
Part 1: But You're TEACHERS!
An Open Letter to new English Teachers in Korea
Part 2: Why, Yes, Korea DOES have a Batshit Media! Why do you ask?
Part 3: Yeah, Some Self-Reflection Is Called For, but not From You, Ms. Choi
Part 4: Racism, Culture-shock, Acclimation and Integration in Minjokland
Part 5: The PR Campaign: 'Seyo's Marching Orders

Image: buy the t-shirt for your kid.

This is a new one, actually. See, one thing I've noticed in having conversations in English about Korea with Koreans is that it's startling how often one will come across what almost seems like rote answers or rationalizations to common questions and topics. Almost as if they're programmed in during second period dodeok in eighth grade. For example, "1. Korea has many people. 2. Korea has little land. 3. Korea has few natural resources. 4. Our only real resource is people. 5. With lots of people and few resources, Korean life is very competitive. 6. Therefore, to gain a competitive advantage, education is the key. 7. Therefore Koreans MUST get a good education, to compete. 8. Therefore we must push our children to do well in school, or our kids will fall behind the other kids. 9. Therefore, even though Minji and I both hate it, I STILL must force Minji to go to at least as many Hogwans as Mrs. Kim's daughter." It's not that any of this is untrue, or at least not partially true, but it sometimes it seems like discussion of the topic will brook no other arguments than those already tabled.

I've seen similar rote responses in discussion of other social issues popular in expat + Korean conversations (another example is the "but we can't make our entrance exams into other formats than multiple choice tests because multiple choice is objective: you can't bribe a scantron; writing tests or even double-blind interviews are too subjective to be trusted").

I've also had the honor of spotting a new meme to add to the progression. A few years ago, I started hearing this added to the others about competing for success through education: "Yeah, Roh Moo-hyun/Hyundai's CEO/some other wildly successful Korean was a self-made man/woman...but that was then, in the past. That kind of success is impossible in today's Korea, therefore, even though it wasn't always, education is NOW the ONLY way to be successful in modern Korea."

Well, in my talking with Koreans about why Korea focuses on English teacher drug use, for example, over drug use by its own population, or other expat populations (and the majority of foreigner drug-smuggling that happens takes place among Chinese and SouthEast-Asian expats living in Korea, I believe, though I don't have statistics at hand to back that up: the potsmoking English teachers are a tiny minority of the foreign drug users in Korea, to say nothing of Korea's own home-grown dealers and users). But we're teachers, and we deal with kids, I've been told, a number of times now, so it's worse if foreign English teachers do it, than if a bunch of Thai factory workers unwind with a little contraband...or use a little sumpin' sumpin to keep them awake through the last leg of that 36 hour shift their exploitastic boss put them on. And that's why the news media pays attention to English teacher iniquity over drug crimes, or other crimes done by other segments of the expat or local population. That's the new argument I've heard, almost by rote, the last handful of times I've talking about scapegoating. Didn't used to hear it.

We're teachers. The expectations are higher for us.

And here's what I have to say about that:

granted.

You know what, we ARE teachers, and we SHOULD be respectable, especially if we're working with kids. Yeah, seriously. If we want to be treated with the respect that is supposedly due to teachers in Confucian society (whatever that means), then we ought to act the part, and not be dipshits. And maybe you want to say "but we're not Korean, so why should Korean rules apply to us?" but you're in Korea, aren't you? Yeah, that argument can be stretched out ad absurdium into the unhelpful, "If you don't like it, go home"... but "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" can surely be followed without being tortured into, "If you don't like it, go home," (which is my absolute least favorite phrase in the entire culture-clash conversation, and is usually a dead giveaway that the person you're talking with has already made up their mind, and you're not conversing, because one of you ain't listening to the other).

Sure, because we're foreign, sometimes allowances are made for us. My Korean friends are mortified by my boldness if I strike up a conversation with a stranger (gasp! a STRANGER?) in the bank line or on a subway, but they shrug it off with "he's a foreigner". We've all gotten away with stuff by playing the 'foreigner card' - 'Gee, sorry, sir. I couldn't read the -stay off the grass- sign, sorry!'. But that does not mean we are entitled to having allowances be made for us. And you know, my supervisor might make allowances, because it's her job to help me do my job, but that doesn't necessarily apply to Byung-chul on the street, in whose country I am living, and who still sees me as a guest...and a sometime rude one at that. Some of us DO need to clean up our act, and it DOES behoove us to respect the fact teachers are held in high esteem here, and do what we can to act the part.

Couple other things, however:
First, if it's true that teachers are held in higher regard, and teacher crimes are considered that much worse BECAUSE WE'RE TEACHERS, then let's make sure that principle is applied across the board. If Korean teachers behave badly (and statistically, they sometimes do), I'd like to see foreign English teachers given the same treatment Korean teachers get when they step out of line, and by that I mean this:

I would like to see those misdeeds portrayed as inappropriate acts by individuals, not as behavior trends that characterize the entire group. A few Korean teachers getting caught in a prostitution sting does not lead to every Korean schoolteacher being accused of whoring, and if such rhetoric entered public discourse, teacher's union representatives would be quick to respond. It would be nice if the same courtesy of not measuring the lot of us by the low-water mark, were extended to Native English Teachers in Korea.

This point does get sticky when we head into the realm where law-abiding foreign English teachers get attacked for making choices which, while legal, are not always up to the highest standard of behavior, or just make people uncomfortable because of their racist ideas about a pure-blooded Korea. No, a male Native English Teacher's choice to date a Korean female does NOT affect his ability to teach his students, and yeah, it IS sexist that it's cool - it's great! - for a foreign female to date a Korean male (look how she's trying to get involved in Korean culture!) but it's not cool for a foreign male to date a Korean FEMALE (keep your dirty waygook hands off OUR women!) and yeah, a large - huge percentage of the anti-English teacher backlash is rooted in the sexist assumption that Korean females are helpless against foreign men's blue-eyed voodoo, and the unreasonable wish that male English teachers live as monks while they're in Korea (though it's fine if western women date Korean men, of course).

[Update: I am informed by Gomushin Girl in the comments that KF + WM BAD/WF + KM GOOD is an oversimplification of the foreign (particularly white) female, Korean male dating situation. She'd know better than I.]

Those sexist, racist ideas are reprehensible, but they won't go away until, basically, socially, Korea grows up (a moment to acknowledge that Korea's not the only country that needs to grow up in this way), and people who believe that kind of junk are relegated farther to the outliers of society, where they'll be recognized, and dismissed, as extreme and irrelevant voices. Until then, there ARE a couple of things we could do while we're here to at least alleviate the ugliness.

In fact, this is important enough that I'm going to make it a separate post of its own.

So go read it. "An Open Letter to New Teachers in Korea"


Now, Korea's not the only place where visual profiling takes place. How many of us have groaned in embarrassment when we went with grandma or dad, into the 7-11 back in our home-country, and dad or grandma spoke to the second-generation East-Indian store clerk (who was our classmate in high school, and won the English essay contest, and is due to inherit a chain of 7-11's across the city, and lives in a house with a garage bigger than my current apartment) in super-slow half-formed pidgin-English sentences. We get judged by our looks, if we look different than Koreans, and you know, there's not a whole lot we can do about that, except be mindful of it.

Another thing about being teachers is that we DO get into the teaching profession a lot more easily than Korean nationals. They have to go through years of education, and pass a super-badass-hard test before they can get a public school job. We pretty much need to show up with a University Degree. Now, you can talk until you're blue in the face about the fact that's simply a question of supply and demand, and that if Korea wanted better teachers, they could find them, but for now, most decision-makers are content to pay less for a less qualified teacher, than to pay the kind of money, and offer the kinds of prospects of advancement and development and the kind of lifestyle opportunities that would attract qualified, certified, career teachers to come and stay here. Until that happens, we WILL be viewed slightly askance, like interlopers, for the fact we got into teaching more easily than Koreans do, and the fact we kind of DID sneak in through the side door means that if we AREN'T on our best behavior, all those other judgements and stereotypes are on a hair-trigger, ready to dredge up every negative ever said about English teachers, if we step too egregiously out of line. That hair trigger is wound up with resentment and (let's be honest) envy: we're from the "good" countries, speak the "priviledged" language, and got into one of the most prestigious jobs in Korea, and like Harry Potter defeating Voldemort through who he IS, rather than any badass wizard talent of his own, it was mostly through the sheer good luck being born in the right place, that we're now teaching in Korea, occupying what is seen as a super-priveledged position. If we shit on that position by disrespecting Korea and brazenly flashing around our bad behavior, rather than keeping it on the down-low, is it any surprise we are met with such a harsh backlash?

Is this my own observation? Yeah. Is it anecdotal? Sure. I'll admit that, which, in the face of all these generalized assertions, might be all that differentiates me from Jon Huer (by the way, can I request that Huer become a K-blog catchphrase - either Huer (noun) for a blowhard who has no idea what he's talking about - "That guy's a total Huer. Been here two months and he'll argue with anyone." or Huer (verb) to approach a topic so mired in one's own preconceptions and stereotypes as to shoot one's argument in the foot before one has even begun - "Wow, you totally Huer'd that question...have you even read Virginia Woolf?")

However, ultimately, if we don't deal with douchebag behavior internally, among ourselves, as an English Teaching community, we will deal with it in newspaper articles, stereotyped news reports, and hit pieces by Choi Hui-seon and other equally racist hacks, so let's be a little more mindful of how we are seen by Korea, yah? Thanks.

Next: Let's not all crap our pants now, Part 2: Why Yes, Korea DOES have a Batshit Media! Why do you ask?

Open Letter To New Teachers In Korea

This is a companion piece to part 1 of our series, "let's not crap ourselves", on Ugly English Teachers and Racist Korean Journalists.

Open Letter to People Coming to Korea (especially ethnic non-Asian males) to Teach

Get ready to be insulted. It's tough truths I'm dealing out here today, and if we don't deal with them in-house, they get dealt with in Korea's national assembly, or on the front page of Korean newspapers and news websites, so here goes. The language might be harsh sorry 'bout that.

Hey there everybody. Welcome to Korea: it's a pretty cool place, all in all. You can read here, at this blog, and also in other places, how to have a great time, cultural pitfalls to avoid, and some of the ins and outs that make one's first year in a totally different culture sometimes feel like driving blindfolded. Don't get me wrong: that first year is also great, especially if you take the open mind and the initiative necessary to carpe your diem.

But I'd like to talk about a delicate topic today: one of the seamy undersides of the experience here. It's unfortunate, but you'll experience it.

Bare bones fact: you're in a totally different culture here (duh). I'll tell you a couple of things about this culture, though. First of all, you should know that in Korea's ancient, traditional culture, being a teacher is considered one of the most esteemed professions: that's what you're heading into. That's cool, right? It means you (presumably) get more respect than other professions; you'll also get a bit more respect than you get from students and parents back in North America, generally speaking.

However, the same culture which honors teachers also tends to evaluate a person's entire character as a part of one's qualification for teaching: that is, even after you punch out and go home, you are STILL a teacher. In the street, in your neighborhood, and even on the weekend, you are still a teacher to Koreans. This goes for other professions as well: hence the hyper-competitive drive in Korea to get into one of the prestige jobs, like doctors and lawyers, civil servants and, yeah, teachers. Being a teacher isn't just a paycheck here: reaching that position is also a call to moral leadership in Korean society, and a position of moral esteem. Seriously.

Next thing: because, until only very recently, Korea considered itself an ethnically pure country, and it remains one of the more racially homogenous countries in the world, Koreans are still getting used to the idea of having people with different nationalities, cultures, and especially, different skin colors, involved in their day-to-day life. One feature of not quite knowing what to do with this (sometimes un-asked-for) diversity is a tendency to generalize the different populations. You'll probably regularly hear Koreans talk, not just of their own culture, but of other cultures, in incredibly broad terms: "Koreans are..." "Americans are..." sometimes they'll go even broader, and say "Westerners are..." "Southeast Asians are...". To be fair, this kind of stereotyping and generalization goes both ways: I just did it myself!

But here's why I'm talking about this: one of the generalizations some Koreans like to make is "Foreign English Teachers are..." and, for that reason, along with what I mentioned before about English teachers being judged for everything they do, and not just what they do in the class, we're under a microscope. And the sucky part is this: if I go to your neighborhood, or stand in front of news cameras, and act like a jackass, it reflects badly on you. And if you get smashed one weekend and act like a jackass, and take pictures with a bunch of hot, drunk Korean girls, and publish them on your blog or facebook or, really, anywhere on the internet where Koreans can find them and forward the link to their friends, it makes ME look like a jackass, too. It's not all Koreans, but there are a handful of Korean netizens, a handful of Korean journalists, and a handful of Korean rabble-rousers whose absolute FAVORITE thing to do is to find jackassy pictures some foreigner has posted online, and to show them all around and claim that ALL foreign English teachers always act exactly like that, all the time, and extrapolate a picture that might be from the kind of night you only have once every year, into not just YOUR entire character, but the entire character of your whole demographic!

It's happened before.

So here's the thing:

You might not be living here for a long time, but there are some of us who are, and even if you're only here for a short time, reports that English teachers are all moral reprobates will make it harder for you to earn the respect of your Korean coworkers, your students' parents, your boss, and people in your neighborhood. It's happened before, so here are a few things I'm gonna ask you to do, for the sake not just of your own self, but for the other foreigners your Korean contacts will meet in the future, for the other foreign English teachers in your neighborhood, and for the teachers who will come after you at your school, and at large.

1. Treat your job like a real job. You're getting paid for it. You signed a contract: keep it. If your boss is ripping you off, there are legal options you can pursue, and people ready to help you out, but almost all of them are also contingent on YOU filling YOUR side of the contract, in order that your boss is the only one in the wrong.

2. When Koreans ask you "What do you think about Korea?" say something nice. You're an ambassador for your country and your culture, whether you want to be or not. Sometimes, you'll even get Koreans asking you questions that seem baited to get you to start complaining: "What is the biggest cultural difference" or "what are some problems you see" . . . be diplomatic, dodge, or at the very least, be descriptive ("I notice that this is different.") instead of prescriptive ("Korea should ____ to fix their education system."). The safest answer to "What's the hardest/worst thing about living in Korea?" is "The language barrier."

3. I'm not going to tell you to live like a monk or something, but save the non-monk behavior for appropriate times and places. If you're going to go wild (and don't we all sometimes), take a page from Koreans' books, and don't broadcast it. Don't brag to your friends, don't post pictures online, don't make boasting blog posts. Be discreet: that's how Koreans do it. Believe me, I've seen and hear tell of Koreans doing all the wacky, wild things expats are accused of doing, stuff like that has even been in the news ...but Koreans generally cover their tracks, and so should you, and when all else fails, Koreans plead ignorance: "I was so drunk. I don't remember." But this plea only works if there's no photo evidence.

4. Be aware that your actions DO have consequences. You are no longer in university. Seriously; back home, everybody had their turn being "that guy" and it was funny. Here, being "that guy" leads to newspaper articles about how no foreign English teacher in Korea is any better than "that guy". That drunken silliness no longer gets brushed off with "oh, to be young again!" instead it becomes even worse than it was to begin with, because "and he/she's a teacher, too!" Korea is not frat/sorority house redux, even though your parents aren't here to be embarrassed at your conduct. The people who come here to have a year of no-consequences drunken fun before they settle down, and then leave... well, it might not be THEM dealing with the consequences of that year, but all the long-term teachers who were here before them and stayed after them, who gave them classroom management tips for free, DO have to stay here and clean up the skid marks from them making an ass of themselves for a year. It's no fun cleaning up drunk puke-stains on my reputation, when I wasn't even the one having enough fun to throw up on somebody's shoes. Seriously, have your fun, but don't be a brazen jerk about it: that's not how things work here. The only people who get to be brazen jerks here are drunk old guys.

5. Don't talk to Korean journalists, especially about Korea's night life, or about English teachers. I've known enough people who were misquoted, pull-quoted, or cast in a bad light by Korean journalists, that I'm not going near that minefield, and you shouldn't either.

6. Treat other expats with respect, too. This includes showing respect and gratitude toward expats who have been here longer than you, and have heard the questions you are asking, time and again, and still take the time to patiently answer them. Also, be helpful toward expats who have been here a shorter time: there was a time when you didn't know anything either. It sucked, didn't it? Then somebody gave you a hand, right? Pay it forward: that's how we roll in expatland.

7. If you're male, don't be like these jackasses, and disrespect the women from your home country. In fact, it's a pretty good idea to avoid directly comparing Korean women and Western women entirely: so many stereotypes get tossed around that everybody winds up looking bad in that conversation. There's nothing more distasteful than an expat male who hooks up with a pretty Korean girl, gets a case of yellow fever while he's high on the good side of inter-cultural dating (before the "why didn't you answer my last text message?" text messages start coming), and takes the chance to start disparaging Western women, or starts acting like God's Gift To Women because he's getting attention from pretty girls who were startled to see Someone Who Looks Different in the subway car. Don't be that guy. Or this guy.

And whatever your gender, don't react to bad expat behavior like that by spreading the rumor that we're all losers who couldn't get jobs or dates in our home countries, and that's the only reason any westerner stays in Korea for a long time, or comes at all: there are three fingers pointing back when people start pointing that finger, and that conversation, too, ends with everybody looking bad. Especially when Koreans who are busy forming their opinions about foreigners are listening in on that kind of talk. Save the shit-talking for appropriate times and places, eh?

8. Date Koreans if you want. Go right ahead. Have a great time. But you know, just because they don't speak your language so well, doesn't mean they're stupid, and they know when they're being treated with disrespect. Be safe, be responsible, protect yourself, and the reputation of all of us, and respect them. A lot of English teachers who get deported were caught in their illicit activities -- whatever they were -- by being ratted on by scorned exes. And from the stories I've heard, hell hath no fury, pal. If you're looking for fun without strings attached, there are K-girls and guys looking for that, too, rest assured. But don't lie to get what you want, or make promises you don't mean. I know a guy who did that, and the girl published the story in a magazine, including his actual e-mail address, as a cautionary tale. Suddenly he was getting dozens of nasty e-mails from Korean women who read the article. And even if it isn't published in a magazine, I don't need your ex's friends corroborating their other friends' stereotypes by saying, "Yeah. My friend was tossed aside by some Yankee charisma man, too!"

9. If you have to complain about Korea (and don't we all sometimes), save it for your expat friends, unless you A. know a shit-ton about Korean culture B. are an absolute king/queen of objectivity, grace, and tact. Moaning about culture shock is better done with people who KNOW what culture shock is, so honestly, that conversation is best saved for your expat co-workers, or friends. The only Koreans who should be privy to the complaining stuff are the ones who know you well enough to take such comments in the context of everything else they know about you, and hold it in the balance.

10. Whatever their age, always, always, always, act with the utmost professionalism toward your students and, if applicable, your students' parents. If you teach kids, and especially if you're male, don't take them on your lap, even if they initiate contact, or tickle them, or stuff like that, even if it's totally innocent. Even if your boss tells you to be more affectionate to the kids, limit touching to hands, shoulders, heads. If you teach adults, don't get involved with students: at least wait until they're no longer in your class, and think carefully before getting involved with a coworker. Don't be stupid. If things go south between you and a student, or a coworker, after getting involved, you can pretty much count on it being YOU who'll be the one catching the short end of that stick, so, as my friend told me, "don't shit where you eat."

Basically, because of where we live, and because we look a bit similar, whether it's fair or not, anything you say and do can and will be used against ME, or any of us, in the court of public opinion. And vice versa. Sure, it's a bit of a burden...but now you know what it's like to be a hispanic living in Georgia, or a First Nations Canadian living in rural, Western Canada, or a Tamil living in Toronto. Welcome to the other side.

And I know that not all of you need to read this letter. Maybe even MOST of you don't: I'm sure that you are probably really good, decent people. Great! While we're in Korea especially, we need to help each other out. I know stuff that can be useful to you, and I'll pass it on to you for free, out of professional, or simply situational (ex-pat) courtesy. Out of that same courtesy, keep in mind those ten tips, in order to help ALL of us win the public opinion battle.

Yeah, I know I come off sounding like a pompous turd in this post, but seriously, we've GOT to deal with this stuff in-house.

KThanks.

And after telling you all how to behave (thanks, Mom), in return, here's what I've got: I'm an experienced teacher, and a six-year expat, and I know a bunch of stuff, and a lot of people who know more than me, about different things that come up when you live in Korea. So that this post isn't a totally one-sided bit of pompousity, here's what you get in return: all over this blog, and more so if you ask (e-mail address on the sidebar), feel free to hit me up for tips or advice about some of the pitfalls. Read around the blog to find what you need to know, or to get some hints on great places to go and things to do. Explore the blogs I link on the right, in order to find some really helpful info about life in Korea. That's how the exchange works. Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you find some useful stuff.

Also, in the comments, Chris makes the very good point that the best thing you can do to enjoy life here more, is to find a community, a group where you feel like you belong. Whether that's expats, or mixed, or Korean, don't fall into the isolation trap (I was there in my first year, and part of my second, and it sucks). Get involved in something, and it'll deeply enrich your time here, in a way that'll have you walking away with much more than memories of drunken nights will. Thanks for listening.

This post is part of a series about racism, the Korean media, and ugly English teachers:
On Ugly English Teachers and Racist English Teachers: Let's not all Crap our Pants Now: Intro
Part 1: But You're TEACHERS!
An Open Letter to new English Teachers in Korea
Part 2: Why, Yes, Korea DOES have a Batshit Media! Why do you ask?
Part 3: Yeah, Some Self-Reflection Is Called For, but not From You, Ms. Choi
Part 4: Racism, Culture-shock, Acclimation and Integration in Minjokland
Part 5: The PR Campaign: 'Seyo's Marching Orders