Roboseyo's First Caption Contest

HT to Korea Beat

funniest caption wins.

The Good News and the Bad News: Seeing Cultural Events in Seoul

The good news: especially with this mayor, Oh Se Hoon, Seoul has been loaded with cultural events and festivalish thingys going on, like, all the time.

This was from Seoul Night Out, a few weekends ago, when they did cultural presentations after dark. . . which is cool to me, because I think cities are all prettier at night.


this performance was gobsmacking amazing. Really, truly fantastic.

The bad news:
As far as I know, there is no single place where one can find English information about all the happenings going on in Seoul. Maybe if you can read Korean, there's lotsa stuff, or if you check the arts page of the Korea Times on the right day (I'm pretty sure it's friday); however, as far as I know, there is no website that gives comprehensive events listings for Seoul in English, that is both navigable, and regularly updated, which means you have to check five or six different places, piecemeal, to find out about concerts, festivals, cultural events, demonstrations (as in pottery, or tea ceremonies, not as in "down with LMB").

Dear Seoul City Hall: Is it that hard to hire a bilingual person to run an up-to-date website, maybe linked to the HiSeoul tourism webpage, that includes ALL cultural events, concerts, performances, demonstrations, and festivals happening in Seoul? Wouldn't that make things easier for tourists than having each different organization's website only advertising the events they sponsor, and having lots of dead links saying things like "Please wait. English version coming soon." or blank pages, or updates from a season ago, and blocked transactions saying "Sorry, Firefox/Linux/Mac-using sucka: you need an ActiveX controller to see this page or navigate this flash-guide, even though huge swaths of the internet hate activex and refuse to use internet explorer" or "We're going to tell you about this festival, and all the films you could see, but you can't order tickets because you don't have a Korean ID number. Mwahahahahaaaa!"



It wouldn't be hard. Heck, pay for my Korean classes so that I can check the listings myself, and I'll do it for you. (If you can lure me away from my current job . . . good luck with that, though.)

My lovely readers: is there a website like this I can bookmark, that I just don't know about yet? If so, please tell me in the comments section, and I'll add it to my sidebar and send you gratuitous thanks.

If not: Hey Korea! You know how you say you want to become more attractive to tourists? Is that true, or is it just lip service? If you mean it, here's a good start! Give us some direction, so that our main "seeing cool shit" strategy isn't just "walk down toward City Hall, follow loud noises, cross your fingers praying its not a protest, and hope something cool happens."

This is what I saw tonight, but I mostly only found out about it by dumb luck.

Ah, Singin' In The Rain. My second favourite musical.

Oh, and by the way. . . Gene Kelly makes it look so effortless, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, I don't know what to say to you,


except that even when Usher, one of the very best dancers in the pop world today, decided to recreate this scene, buddy, you can see how much work he put into it. . . when Gene Kelly does it, it really seems like a fella might do exactly these steps off the top of his head, because he's so happy in love.

To compare: Usher. He does a good job, but it's a bit strained, because Gene Kelly's Just. That. Good.

How the LPGA is like my classroom: No Speaking Korean!

An ESPN columnist writes about the LPGA's recent decision to require all woman golfers to speak servicable English, after discovering that Korean women were suddenly taking over the sport.

Choice quote: "And American college graduates get huge salaries to spend a year in Seoul, teaching the language. "

Why did I spend all this money if I can't park my penis, I mean car, anywhere I want?

The Hyundai Genesis is the new most expensive domestic car/status symbol in Korea, meaning that, short of buying a Mercedes or BMW, effectually saying, "I'm so successful, I don't even CARE that I'm not supporting my country's economy anymore!", the Genesis is the biggest freudian compensation kit status symbol you can drive around Korea.

The sign says, according to Girlfriendoseyo, "Don't park here.  If you park here again, we'll let the air out of your tires." 

Not only is he parking where he shouldn't, but he's done it often enough to be threatened.

I'm told by students who work in the service industry that the most obnoxious customers aren't the really rich, but the upper-middle class people -- the ones who go into debt to buy the mercedes, because their neighbours have one.  The ones knocking on the door, but not quite in the club yet.  There's an old Korean saying that translates, "An empty can makes the most noise," which might apply.

Meh.

Preach it, Kyung-Hee!

HT to Gord Sellar.

in case you haven't already had the conversation about the bad effects cram schools and private institutions have on Korean kids a hundred times, or want to hear about it, or just like reading a succinct summary of a conversation many English teachers in Korea have stretched out over hours on end. . . here.

I talked about this in my "Five Things I'd Change About Korea" post, but Kyung-Hee used fewer words.

P.S.: Camper Van Beethoven is making me very happy these days.

By the Way: A Poem in need of Parsing.

If you're a lover of literature, you might want to check out an accidental poem that blogger Schwim, of Sink of Schwim received from a student. I took a crack at unpacking its vivid imagery and fascinating progression of symbols, and some of you might want to take a shot at it, too. If not, just read that thing: it truly is a work of art.

Science is cool again. Nerds are, too.

In case you were wondering about what Dark Matter is, and what the Large Hadron Collider built under France and Switzerland actually does, but can't read the science-ese in science quarterlies. . .



It's cool to be nerdy again.

Improve Your Life With Roboseyo

Roboseyo's Three Principles For Having A  Disciplined Mind:

1.  Remember that which is important.  Study it if you must.

2.  Forget that which is unimportant.  Take steps to avoid exposure to it if you must.

3.  I forget the third one.  

(p.s.: Bjork)

Pictures from Downtown Seoul Last Weekend.

Another picture of my university campus: I don't know what the green lights are for, but they sure do some nice things when you set them next to the orange lights.


My best friend is taking a Masters' in Applied Linguistics. I'm watching in slow motion as the language he speaks slowly morphs from English to. . . English-ish. Academian. Scholarish. I'm reading Korean folk tales again. I might be hooked. I may even blog some of them.


So anyway, last weekend I went to city hall to hang out. Met girlfriendoseyo and we stomped around the downtown for a while and saw some cool stuff.

I had to bear this on the way downtown. . . the things I do to entertain you with pictures, dear readers. The things I do!



People were scattered across the City Hall lawn like paper cups.



Some ladies in Hanbok. Just because.



And, of course, kids were playing in the water fountain.



More kids playing.




This little one was having an especially good time.



He was my favourite.



I like this picture, maybe third best.


As a picture, I think this is the best one.  From a photographer's point of view, that is.


Maybe the cutest picture of the lot. . . wait a minute. . . maybe not.


there it is.
gonna grow up to be a plumber.


Hope all your weekends were as happy as this little boy's. Hope you were a bit better covered up, though (unless that was the reason you had so much fun. . .)

Take care, eh?

Why I bought a Mac.

(Girlfriendoseyo hates her computer.)

I don't want to become one of those Mac Missionaries, but suffice it to say, I like things so far. I'm even trying my hand at video editing, ya know?

(by the way. . . chusok is coming!)

Seen in Costco:

From the Hire a Proofreader, Nimrod! Files.

Brian had a doozy on his site, so here's one I spotted just last night.

In Konglish, Y-shirt means a button-down, collared shirt.

Gotta quote sometimes.

Korea's political scene just keeps tearing the country apart -- if not on partisan lines, how about religious lines!

The left keeps tossing rhetorical firebombs into the dialogue, rather than trying to be a responsible press, and in response, the right is arresting people for having ideas they don't like.

So, I'm not thinking about Korea.

What IS on my mind. . .

I'm reading one of the greatest graphic novels ever written, the watershed "Watchmen" right now, for the second time, in anticipation of the Watchmen Movie coming soon. This is a ridiculously layered, complex and intriguing story, developing characters in ways that stretched the comic medium (back in the '80s when it was written) into unrecognizable dimensions. It's awesome. . . a bit wooly, and it takes a while to get going, but awesome.

and I have quotes from Conor Oberst, also known as Bright Eyes. You're entitled to your opinion on him, and I'm not going to get an emo haircut or start wearing ironic t-shirts or anything,




but here are some great lines from a few of the songs on "Lifted"


Waste Of Paint (Sorry. Can't embed two Bright Eyes songs in one blog. The whole thing'd implode.)

Bright Eyes

two verses of this song are just so lovely. . . but then there are. . . a lot . . . of words. . . between the lovely parts.

everybody: YyyyaaaaaaAAAAYYYY EXCESS!

. . . lots of words. . .

The last few months I have been living with this couple.
Yeah, you know, the kind who buy everything in doubles.
They fit together, like a puzzle.
And I love their love and I am thankful
that someone actually receives the prize that was promised
by all those fairy tales that drugged us.

. . . too many words. . .


. . . but these lines are lovely . . .

So now I park my car down by the cathedral,
where the floodlights point up at the steeples.
Choir practice was filling up with people.
I hear the sound escaping as an echo.
Sloping off the ceiling at an angle.
When the voices blend they sound like angels.
I hope there’s some room still in the middle.
But when I lift my voice up now to reach them.
The range is too high,

. . . more words. . .


Finally, the best line on the whole album:

-from "Laura Laurent"
But you should never be embarrassed
by your trouble with living
because it's the ones with the sorest throats, Laura,
who have done the most singing.

If you're in Korea. . . (Updated)

watch Arirang TV at 8pm today. If you can, you know.

More later.

-roboseyo

So now that they've edited the whole thing. . . I'm in there all right!

http://www.arirang.co.kr/Tv2/Tv_Video_On.asp?PROG_CODE=TVCR0290&code=Po5

You can click on this link, and watch the first segment -- it's more about two other Korea bloggers. . . but they show my face! And my voice is in there at one point. I show up about seven minutes in, and you can distinctly hear me say, "a lot of hits on my blog are. . . "

Too bad they edited out just about everything I said, you know, because now that it's on the cutting room floor, I'll swear to high heaven I have NEVER, repeat, NEVER been more clever, insightful, and entertaining than in all that stuff they edited out. Just boil down all the not-sucky parts of my blog into nine minutes of talking, and that's what it was like, I SWEAR.


snicker.


If you follow the link, you either have to sign up for the site, to get a login name and see the video on demand stuff, or if I know you personally, you can e-mail me at the address on the sidebar, and ask really nicely, and I'll e-mail you the username password I used to see it.


Zenkimchi kindly put the pertinent segment on Youtube. (Thanks, Joe.) So now you can see it here.

If you ONLY care about old Roboseyo, skip to the eight minute mark. . . but if you want to get a look at bloggers in Korea in GENERAL, watch the whole thing. Mike and Joe are worth knowing about, too.

Random Glee. . .

every once in a while, walking around Seoul, I spot the Korean twin of somebody I know back home.

My friend Anna pops up from time to time. Sarah W. does fairly often, actually, as well as a few of my friends' parents (the moms more than the dads).

Most recently, I had two doozies, though.





Yes, dear readers. I spotted Christopher Walken's Korean clone jogging the track at my new school, and Doogie Howser's Korean doppleganger (Doogie Howjoh?) was walking between two buildings when I spotted him. It's moments like these I wish I could just tug my ear and have whatever's hitting my eyes save as a JPG file on a USB card tucked snugly in my . . . (heh heh heh) . . . but because taking pictures require me to pull my camera case out of my shoulder-bag, pull my camera out of the case, turn it on, wait for the flash to charge, THEN point and click. . . I don't get to have pictures like that. ('cos how are you going to explain that, anyway? Can anybody translate "Hi. You look like a white person I know. Can you stay here and wait for me to get out a camera so I can put a picture of you on the internet? I SWEAR I'm a perfectly normal person and you have nothing to worry about!" into Korean for me?)

Korean clones are even more fun than Konglish restaurant menus, because they are much less common, so spotting one is proportionally more entertaining and rewarding.

Few more Night Pics

Now that I've figured out how to do night scene pictures on my camera, I thought I'd share a few I've taken so far.

The moon was bright, but the trees around were picking up orange light from the streetlights. That set up some cool contrasts between my flash, the moon, and the orange washes from the streetlights. These are all from my new neighbourhood in Imun-dong.

Hope you like'em. I enjoyed taking them.

Something I DIDN'T like about living in Downtown Seoul:

Walking home from work and seeing THIS every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday night (it also happened, even more, on Saturdays and Sundays).

One More for the "Hire a Proofreader, Nimrod!" files:

From a really, really great dumpling restaurant in Insa-dong:




Delicious food. . . too bad they spent ALL their energy making the best dumpling soup I've tasted so far. Not that I begrudge them.

I'll be honest and say that running into a bit of Konglish is a tiny bit of extra joy in my day-to-day life -- you never know when it'll happen, you never know how bad or mild it'll be, but it's always good for a giggle, and sometimes a photo, if possible. I'd liken it to finding a fiver on the sidewalk -- uncommon, unpredictable, but always nice.

How to See The World the way Kim Jong-Il Does: (warning: a bit gross)

Step 1: Hire a hypnotist. Better find a good one.
Step 2: Have the hypnotist hypnotize you into believing your crap smells like roses and tastes like caviar.
Step 3: Stick out your tongue and grab it firmly.
Step 4: Pull your tongue until your head turns inside out.
Step 5: Punch your now-exposed brain until at least one lobe stops working.
Step 6: Take your inside-out-head and bruised brain, and stick it up your own butt (which you've been hypnotized to believe smells like roses and tastes like caviar)
Step 7: Start talking.

You'll look like this:



You'll say things like this (recent North Korean news release):

(Thanks, OneFreeKorea, for showing us JUST how delusional North Korean leadership has become.)

Explicitly speaking, there is no “human rights issue” much touted by the U.S. in the DPRK. The Korean people fully enjoy genuine freedom and rights under the socialist system where all people form a big family. It is the consistent popular policy of the DPRK government to fully guarantee the rights of the citizens in a responsible manner. In the DPRK based on the man-centered Juche idea all working people do labor according to their abilities and wishes and lead a genuine life, given ample opportunity of learning. It is absolutely illogical for the U.S. to talk about the “human rights issue” while ignoring such reality.

There is the most serious human rights issue in the U.S. as it is a rogue state that exterminated tens of millions of native Indians and accumulated wealth through slave trade and flesh traffic and a country where the almighty dollar principle and the fin de sickle lifestyle based on the law of the jungle prevail. The impoverishment of Americans in the mental and cultural lives is actively fostered institutionally, driving them into the abyss of corruption, despair and crimes. This is a true picture of the American society today.

The “human rights” piffle made by the U.S. high-ranking officials indicates that they have no stand to recognize and respect the dialogue partner. The U.S. is persisting in the politically motivated provocations as evidenced by the ruckus kicked up over the non-existent “human rights issue” in the DPRK, an indication of its deep-rooted hostility and inveterate enmity toward the DPRK.

This attitude leaves the DPRK and the countries concerned skeptical about the U.S. intention to implement the points of the October 3 agreement. Such provocative acts of the U.S. as slandering and pulling up its dialogue partner can never help the talks make any progress in the positive direction. [KCNA]

North Korea said on Wednesday it saw as “unjust” calls from global powers such as the United States for Pyongyang to verify claims it made in disarmament talks about producing arms-grade plutonium. The North’s KCNA news agency quoted an unnamed spokesman from its Foreign Ministry as also saying that South Korean-U.S. military exercises, which started on Monday, had spoiled the atmosphere for the disarmament discussions.

“This situation compels the DPRK (North Korea) to heighten vigilance against such unjust demands as the ‘verification in line with the international standard’ recently claimed by the U.S. as regards the nuclear issue,” the spokesman said. [Reuters]

North Korea “will increase its war deterrent in every way as long as the U.S. and its followers continue posing military threats to it,” a spokesman for the North’s Foreign Ministry said in comments carried by the country’s official Korean Central News Agency. The remarks came two days after South Korea and the U.S. launched Ulchi Freedom Guardian, an annual computer-simulated war game and follow daily criticisms of the exercises in North Korean media. The exercises come amid a dispute between the U.S. and North Korea over ways to verify the North’s declared nuclear programs under an aid-for disarmament deal. [AP, Kwang-Tae Kim]

In the North Korean vernacular, “war deterrent” means nukes.

How's the view from in there, Comrade Kim?

Sigh.

There's actually nothing funny about it. The best I can muster is bitter, angry derision. . . people are dying there, so as much fun as it is to laugh at "I'm Ronely" jokes, the dying people of North Korea deserve more.

Usain Bolt again. . . wow. 19.30

Thanks, Youtube, for letting me post this smackdown on the rest of the field:


(still no embedding allowed)
You can watch Bolt's run here. You knew. KNEW, that he was gonna break the record. Took a bit of work -- Michael Johnson's previous record was a gobsmacker of its own. . . but wow. Again, as I wrote before about the allure of sports and the potential of human ability. . . you just can't look away.

Here's Michael Johnson's previous World Record run. 19.32


By the way: a kinda naughty (unintentionally) but extremely funny picture that made me laugh out loud. HT to I, Foreigner. I can't quite bring myself to posting it, but I'll link it with giggling enthusiasm.

From "Quote of the Day," for flag-wavers these Olympics:

Thanks, Quote of the Day


A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors.
- William Ralph Inge


"Let them all go to hell, except Cave 17."
- Mel Brooks (From The Two-Thousand Year Old Man)