Soundtrack: hit play and start reading. Edwyn Collins
Never Met A Girl Like You Before
So. . . topic #1 on the sidebar poll: "The Top Five Things I Would Change About Korea [if I had a magic wand that works]"
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Qualifier: I'm painting with a broad brush here (duh). What I say here doesn't apply completely to all Koreans, or all aspects of Korea; this is just what I've seen, and I'm just a dude, with no real qualifications except that you're reading this, and this is the kind of stuff I think about.

Counterbalance: so I'm not all negative, here are five things I would NEVER change about Korean culture, magic wand or none.


(from World Cup 2002 - and these are mostly just the fans in Vancouver, according to the clip info)
2. Koreans, almost to a person, put forth a great deal of effort and energy to maintain old connections and friendships. Sure, this is easier in a country as geographically small and centralized as Korea -- most people and their elementary school classmates either: 1. still either live in their hometown, or 2. have all migrated to the nearest urban center, or Seoul. While many Canadians might want to have a beer with their old classmates, flying from Vancouver to Montreal for a night of drinking is a bigger endeavour than taking a train from Seoul to Ulsan once a year. Be that as it may, it's pretty darn cool, that Koreans ARE very intentional about staying in touch with high school, elementary school, university, grad school, first job, second job, guitar lessons, etc., friends, in a deeper way than having a long facebook friends list and sending out Christmas cards once a year.
Interestingly, this reunion imperative is almost always group-oriented -- as a Canadian, I'd invite my friend from my first job, my university friend, my high school friend, and my "Shanghai Winter Vacation 2005 Trip" friend all to the same birthday party, introduce them, and hope they get along, while most Koreans generally keep those separate groups, well, separate, but the fact remains: that kind of intentionality, that wish to keep old ties alive, is admirable.

(Picture: traditional Korean funeral -- most don't follow that pattern anymore. From the USC archives.)

4. It's taken as an absolute given that you'll get the day off work to go to your grandmother's funeral. Some of your coworkers might even go along with you. When my grandmother died a little while ago, a lot of my Korean students were even a little taken aback that I DIDN'T go to Canada to attend her funeral: when I explained the time and cost it would involve to do so, they decided Canadians weren't simply cold-hearted and callous, but it took some talking for a few of them. Weddings, births, and "baby's first 100 days" are other family events Koreans make it a [much] high[er] priority [than most N. Americans] to attend.
5. More Korean old people get out of the house and have fun;



There you go, bud. Don't lump me in with the haters, thanks.
Soundtrack part two: just hit play. "The Times, They Are A'Changing"
Bob Dylan

If I had a magic wand, I would:
1. Internalize a deep understanding of the law of diminishing returns.
The law of diminishing returns (originally from economics) states that as one increases effort, eventually results from that increased effort levels off, and then starts to decline. (more explanation here) For example, a handful of seeds tossed on a square meter of tilled earth creates a certain number of plants. A second handful in the same space, might create double the number of plants, but there comes a point where throwing more seeds on the plot won't produce more plants, because the soil's fertility is maxed out. The improvement in results from increased input follows a curve like this:

For example, studying Korean for one hour on Monday, one on Wednesday, and one on Friday, (three hours total) will benefit me more than studying for five hours continuously on Saturday. It's the same for exercise, for sleep, for writing, for reading, and pretty much everything humans do. We need breaks, we need balance; it's how we're wired.

Articles and statistics on this topic here, here, here, and here. Photo of exhausted students from the metropolitician, who wrote a good essay about overworked students in Korea.

Not a lot is actually accomplished during the ten extra working hours that make the difference between working 50 hours a week and 60 hours, because after fifty hours of work in a week, most people are too exhausted to do much more than play solitaire at the office desk and take long smoke breaks. Despite this, many Koreans seem to show their "I stayed until XX" finishing times around like masochistic badges of honour.
Meanwhile, in (un?)related news, Korea has one of the highest suicide rates in the world.
Understanding the law of diminishing returns would revolutionize work and study efficiency, and create a culture of people who knew when to draw the line, do something else, and enjoy their lives more. (Along with the longest workweek, Koreans spend more on private education academies and less on leisure activities per capita than most other OECD countries.)
The extra six hours of study time that gets your kid's test score from 93% to 95%, also causes him to hate school and studying: he/she loses in the end. All the mentally exhausted workers, too, end up spending their time at work trying to appear busy, while being too mentally exhausted to actually focus on their tasks (which then requires them to stay late and finish their assignments, prolonging the cycle) -- it's kinda self-defeating.
More is not the same as better.
2. Create a status-neutral verb ending, and a status-neutral system of titles and modes for addressing others, to replace, or at least reduce the influence of Korean's over-developed honorific system.
Girlfriendoseyo had some difficulty with this one when I talked to her about it, so I have to choose my words carefully here.

The honorific system deeply engrains a pattern of measuring each person Koreans meet against themselves, to establish who is higher and who is lower on the pecking order. This in turn leads to a culture of constant vying for status, of endless competition that popped up even in my six-year-old kindergarten classes (moms phoning in, "So, is Ella at the top of the class, or nearer to the bottom?")
Now don't get me wrong here: there's nothing wrong with respecting your elders, yah? And Korean culture has that respect for elders deeply enough programmed that changing some linguistic forms wouldn't erase all respectful relationships; however, this hierarchical system is often abused, particularly by the elders, or the more educated, who take their special status as license to treat those younger or otherwise lower than them like lapdogs (and the younger side is not allowed to complain about it, because s/he's older).
You can regularly see drunken old men disrespecting police officers in ways that would probably have them tasered in Canada, and certainly holed away in the drunk tank for the night, because "He's old. He's drunk. He probably lived a hard life," which was even used to plead for leniency for the arsonist who burned down Korea's national treasure #1. Again, the Metropolitician, on older male entitlement in Korea. (Older males are the ones who benefit the most from Confucian hierarchies.)
Malaysian is another language with a complex honorific system, but (according to the Lonely Planet Malay Phrasebook), they have imported the English pronouns "I" and "You" into conversational usage, because "I" and "you" are status neutral, which means that you can use them, and carry a conversation on an equal footing, rather than being required to get out the rulers and measure who's higher on the totem pole. Creating a single, status-neutral-but-still-respectful verb ending that can be universally used, a status-neutral-but-still-respectful pronoun/title system for addressing family members, in-laws, and colleagues, superiors and juniors, would do a lot to make sure respect goes both up AND down the status ladder, that respect for others is internalized instead of only formalized!
3. Reduce the need to defend and promote, and instead ingrain the ability to laugh at oneself, one's culture, and one's country.

This is one of the things I like best about Canada. Canadians are deeply proud of being Canadian, and yeah, if you make some sort of ignint fifty-first state/funny money crack, we'll get annoyed, but along with that, we laughed harder than anyone else at South Park's anthem, "Blame Canada," we didn't threaten to burn down Trey Parker and Matt Stone's house for writing it. Here in Korea, too many nationalists can't take a joke and too many are ready to stir things up anytime, for example, during medal ceremonies. Too many Korean tourists have been bringing up politics, even on vacation, or making political/policy issues personal (I can't remember whether I read online, or heard from a friend, of a Korean who wanted to marry his Japanese girlfriend, and his parents wouldn't approve the marriage until her parents had personally apologized to them for Japan's wartime/colonial atrocities to Korea, as if they were the ones responsible for it -- any reader got a reference for this?)



Yeah. I'd change that. Add a little more self-reflection and rationality and emotional temperance into the nationalism (at least enough to recognize that getting upset over Dokdo at the drop of a hat plays RIGHT into the hands of the nationalist Japanese politicians who provoke them).

Soundtrack part III: Sam Cooke
A Change is Gonna Come
4. Eliminate the anxiety over strangers' and near-strangers' opinions that leads to such a focus on cosmetic and outward benchmarks and measurements (looks, possessions, credentials), and the fear of going against the grain.




James Turnbull, who researches his points about Korean culture better than I do, has more readers, and posts pictures of hotter female popstars, (basically, he owns me in every way), wrote two excellent essays on form over substance in Korea.



When Ex-girlfriendoseyo wanted to come to Canada (an English speaking country, don't you know) and visit my dying mother, her parents said, "You can't go to Canada. You need to use that time to study for your English test!"




To sum up: too many Koreans feel too strongly as if they're doing something wrong by doing what makes them happy, because there's this perception that they must fall in line and obtain the correct signifiers: "everybody else" would rather young Jin-hee were a miserable stay-at-home mom in a joyless marriage with a workaholic high-level civil servant or Samsung office drone

Yeah. I'd change that.
Korea's not the only place one finds this phenomenon, not by a long shot - but I'd change all those other places, too, if I could.
5. Replace the Y chromosome's of 50% of Korea's elites and power-brokers with X chromosomes (including/especially the president), and let everything sort itself out from there (it IS a MAGIC wand, after all).
Reducing the number of (non-magic) wands in elite positions would help a lot of other changes along -- if 50% of the power and influence in Korea were suddenly in the hands of women, all the OTHER gender issues would sort themselves out within a (tumultuous) generation or two. I've discussed sexism enough on the blog in other places that I don't really feel like going into it here, but the fact is, despite having the 13th largest GNP, and ranking in the mid-twenties on the Human Development Index, Korea's Gender Empowerment Measure has been embarrassingly low, and that kind of a disparity between economic and social development should be cause for some serious cultural self-reflection.
5. Separate drinking culture from business culture.
All-too-common situation (much more common 20 or 25 years ago: some of this stuff is getting cleaned up, especially since the Asian Financial Crisis in 1997, but still too common):
1. Chul-soo is tired from working a ten hour day.
2. On the way out the door, Chul-soo's boss says, "Chul-soo! Come join us for an office dinner."
3. Chul-soo cannot say no to his boss without losing face (hierarchical Confucian culture and all), so he comes along. The women in the office are not invited, or leave early: drinking together is often/usually a men-only activity.
4. Boss says, "Chul-soo! Join us for some soju shots!"
5. Again, Chul-soo can't say no to his boss: that would make him the stick in the mud, and bending one's own individual wishes to suit the group atmosphere is very important to Koreans. Chul-soo complies.
6. Chul-soo gets drunk, gets home late, along with everyone in his office (except the women, who left early, or respectfully declined, and Ho-Jun - more about him later). His wife is pissed off.
6.5 (25 years ago, definitely; not as much now, but still too often) Boss leads them to the singing room, switches from soju to whiskey, and then says, "Hey guys! Let's go to a hostess bar/room salon on the company expense account, and ogle girls/have our drinks poured by girls in bikinis/buy some whores. Chul-soo is married, but he still can't say no to his boss (20 years ago, definitely not; now, probably not), so he goes along.

7. Next morning, Chul-soo arrives at the office hung-over and sleepy, along with all the men in the office. They punch each other's arms and make references to last nights adventures, sharing a feeling of camaraderie from which the women are excluded. They ask the women (and Ho-Jun, the office loner, who doesn't come drinking because he says it's important to him to spend time with his wife and small children) to pick up the slack while they take it easy and nurse their hangovers all morning, which entails a two-hour lunch break, a nap at the desk from 10-11:30 am, and maybe a little "hair of the dog" at lunch. Nobody gets much work done except the women, who would grind their teeth about it, but damaging their smiles might injure their job prospects. Ho-jun is criticized for not trying to fit in and be a "team player" because he doesn't come out drinking with the rest of the boys, rather than praised for doing what's necessary to be fresh and ready to work each morning.

8. When it comes time for promotions, the boss promotes his most stalwart drinking buddies, because he feels most comfortable around them, rather than the most efficient or diligent workers. The women are passed over, because women aren't really welcome at the drinking nights, so boss never feels as familiar with them as with the men who stay out late with him. The ones who go home early so that they'll be ready to work the next day are not rewarded, while the ones who drink with the boss and spend entire work-days hung over ARE rewarded with promotions. Thus, office alcoholism is not just forgiven, but it's institutionalized.
Now granted, the above is a caricature that may or may not be comically exaggarated, but I know for a fact that when my male students come into my morning classes hung over, it's never with even the tiniest hint of shame, more often with a bit of a sheepish but self-satisfied, "Look what I did!" grin that a kid might have when he throws a stone at a duck out in the pond, and actually hits it.
Situation 2:
Ahmed, a high-roller from Jordan, and a devout Muslim, wants to do business in East Asia. "Let's have dinner together" sales manager Min-ho says, and offers Ahmed barbeque pork (not Hallal) soju (alcohol: off limits for a good Muslim) and a woman (uhh. . . yeah). Ahmed decides to take his business to Hong Kong, Singapore, or Taiwan, instead.
The way drinking culture and business culture mix together in Korea generates sexism, leads to inefficiency (office-sanctioned next-day hangovers, which are grinned and shrugged off, rather than reprimanded), and promotion of the wrong workers. I'd separate drinking and work culture.
Nothing against Korea's drinking culture when separate from work culture, mind you. If you like drinking culture, Korea's is great -- it's fun, gregarious, Korean men are never friendlier than when you're trading shots of soju -- but you know, in Canada, you drink with your friends, not your coworkers, and when you come to work, you're expected to be ready to work. (See again the statistic on productivity per person-hour of work in Korea.)
Other contenders for the list:

72% of Korean men drink every day.
--explain to Protestants and Catholics that they are two branches of a single religion, not separate religions entirely (So tired of hearing people say, "I'm not a Christian. I'm Catholic", so so tired of the mutual us-vs.-them animousity that comes of that misconception.)

--Create watchdog organizations with wide press coverage and legal clout, but without connections to Korea's left-wing political party (which is one of the most unappealing groups of disingenuous demagogues and xenophobes I've ever seen) to keep an eye on 1. corporate corruption, 2. agenda-driven and other kinds of unethical journalism, 3. political indoctrination in elementary and high-school classes (especially as taught in lieu of critical thinking skills). Have one such organization award yearly prizes for integrity in journalism, a Korean version of the Pulitzer Prize.
--erase the culture of conspicuous consumption and waste, especially in Seoul, and reintroduce actual material modesty.


My magic wand would just be speeding things along in the direction they're already going, in a lot of cases, but there you go, dear readers. My personal opinions, after nearly five years of watching. Hope you enjoyed my thoughts.
That's it. I'm spent.
Thanks, Daily Transit, Joanie, Chiamatt, Popular Gusts and Zenkimchi, for the link love.
13 comments:
Good stuff. Can't believe I'm the first to comment.
I like #1, #2 is a pipe dream.
#2 is a pipe dream. That's why it's a magic wand.
glad you liked it.
Great post dude. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It said a lot of the things I'd like to say far better than I could have said them.
I love Korea as well.
Be cool,
That is an impressive list. You've certainly hit the nail on the head with most of your wishes.
I see things changing slowly, another 10 to 20 years I am guessing SK will improve in all those areas.
Rome wasn't built in a day.
Hey dude, I could not find any other way to contact you on this site and i don't know if you have trackbacks. I just wanted to let you know that I liked your post so much I published some of it on smokehard.com
Be cool,
Dave
I remember in university in Canada many Asian students would spend like 10 hours or something consecutively at the library. I couldn't believe it.
I also can't believe that my students cram English for years and still can't speak more than a few sentences.
They work hard, but not smart.
Great post.
This is an incredibly well thought-out post. I'm Korean myself but have never actually lived for an extended time there, so I learned a lot about Korean culture from this. It's frustrating to hear about the gender and workplace inequalities. I can see why you'd want the magic brush.
These are good observations from a very Western perspective. however it falls very short in tjat it presupposes that the Korean people are just like Western peoples but just happen to have different cultral practices. You have to understand that the people over there really have biological level differences as well. Like the inter-family connections - it's non-trivial to lose grandparents or parents not because of merely psychological/cultural reasons but there are biological/physical level in-grained connections there. Drinking with co-workers after work. it's not because of some sort of confucian obligations. rather the people you work with become very close - very much like family/intimates. so you gotta stay.
and that's in a way a major point of difference. asians in general as has been pointed out thousands of times in books, tend to be more social creatures in the sense that literally their selves are communal selves. western selves are atomic and connections to others are extrinsic. there's biological basis for this.
there's been research done too like the flight or fight chemical response studies - like asian bodies don't show any changes in body chem even as more and more and more people pile into an elevator say. but similar studies show big changes in bio chem in western bodies as more people start piling into an elevator.
so you guys gotta re-think your assessments of what's going on around you and interpret it better instead of being stuck into your own narrow worldviews.
Anonymous, if you make claims that Koreans have fundamental biological differences which lead to the differences in how they drink together, or interact with their families, I'd like to see links to references in reputable scientific journals, thanks. Those are some pretty encompassing claims for an anonymous commenter to make without support, and frankly, while I'd be fascinated to read about such studies and their methods, until you provide that kind of support, I'm not buying it.
Drinking together because of closeness... that sounds like a chicken/egg proposition to me. Of course you grow intimate with people when you drink with them; I fail to see any biological origin to that obvious fact.
References, if you please.
Anonymous
I do agree that Koreans are more patient and at ease in intimate situations with strangers in an elevator. But I don't see how that's relevant to the thread. Nevertheless your statement: "Drinking with co-workers after work. it's not because of some sort of confucian obligations. rather the people you work with become very close"
couldn't be further from the truth. I work in a Korean office and am the only foreigner...they do it just as the thread states...to fill a role expected of them.
Great post! If I could change one additional thing about Korea, it would be to do away with their mandatory military service for all men. It really screws up their psyche, their lives and just about everything else when they have to drop everything and go serve for 2+(?) years.
Etan: I'm fond of tabling the notion that Korean WOMEN should also serve in the military. It would put them on a more equal footing for the rest of their lives.
Amazing. Thankyou so much for this article. I felt like it was both honest about what some of the problems are, but there is a great sense of hope too that all these issues can be changed (and not just with a magic wand). There is great potential for South Korea and the whole world to overcome old restrictive traditions/institutions, leading whole cultures and every individual to shine with their best qualities. Yay for travellers who traverse the globe and spread unity in diversity and independant investigation of truth! Keep on enjoying the beauty of different people, and keep on saying it how you see it. If there were more people like you who could do this in the same respectful way, societies are going to learn and progress very quickly.
-Beck
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