Here ya go, all you U. S. of Americans.

Hugh Laurie


You may recognize this singer, a brilliant comedian...from his most recent television role.


Personally, I prefer his early work.

(the Prince Regent, from Blackadder)

While Everybody Else is talking about the Election... Funny Story Contest!

Here's what might be the funniest story I've read on a Korea blog.

ROK Drop, an excellent blog that I would feature as a Blog Of The Month, if it weren't a far better, more popular blog than mine which didn't need a boost from me in any way, shape, or form, has this brilliant story about a bunch of Philippina juicy girls getting into a snowball fight at the Dongducheon ville.  Warm up your imagination juices and try to create a mental picture as you read it.  It slew me, and ought to crack you up, too.

Here's the setup:

The funniest fight I ever saw in the ville has to be this alteracation that happened a few years back.  Like the beginning to any good military story, "there I was" buying a kebab from the Turkish kebab stand at the Dongducheon Ville.  I’m pretty sure it was December, but it was winter and it was snowing very heavily that night.  A number of Philippina juicy girls were out in front of their clubs checking out the falling snow.  For many of them it was probably the first snow that they had ever seen.  Anyway I’m standing there waiting for my kebab and suddenly from the corner of my eye I see this snowball fly through the air and smash a juicy girl in the back of the head standing in front of the New World Club. Absolutely a perfect shot.

Here's the link.  Follow up and read up for what happens next.

I'm sure it was much funnier than this.

Snowfight: 2 Bikini Girls Part 1 - Funny bloopers R us

(If you have a funnier Korea story from a Korea blog, put the link in the comments or e-mail them to me at the sidebar address.  I'll hand out hat tips and whatnot of course.)

This one's for you, Brian In Jeollanam-do.

Halloween costume of the year.

spotted by The Constant Crafter, in Jongno.

Seoul Forest, and Excellent Weekend

So on Friday (Halloween) night, my friend Jennifer took me to Kyunghee Palace, the most haunted palace in Seoul, and regaled us with ghost stories about royals accused of witchcraft, the spritual-superchargity of Shaman-Central, Inwang Mountain, and serial killer princes locked in rice chests to starve to death, which led to the old puzzle:

If Halloween is a Western holiday (and it is; it's only just now gaining speed in Korea, mostly through Hogwan halloween parties), do Korean ghosts come out, too?

I've always wondered about this; what about luck: as a westerner living in Korea, should I avoid the number 13 (western superstition) the number 4 (Korean superstition), both, or neither? Is it safe for me to open umbrellas indoors here (Koreans often do, leaving umbrellas open in building entrances or hallways outside apartments, so that the water runs off), or should I still avoid it?

Whoa. When I did a google images search for "Black Cat"
I expected this.


Not this. (Black Cat: Felicia Hardy. Thanks, Marvel)
Anyway, we didn't see any ghosts; only some ineffectual security guards. We did go to a great ghost-themed dive bar that was about as cheesy as a scene from Army of Darkness, and as awesome.

Saturday, I helped Foreign/er Joy move to a new place, and hung out with Gomushin Girl (who took some pictures I want) and Zenkimchi, and ate lamb galbi, and durn, it was good (you can read about it here and here, too), but Sunday was gorgeous: I went to Seoul Forest with Girlfriendoseyo and we saw some of the more fantastic fall colours I've seen this year. Girlfriendoseyo says the Fall Colours are not as nice this year as other years, because of the dry summer, but you won't hear me complaining. The Eulalias (the white-headed stalk-plants you'll see blowing in the wind in the video) stood out in white against the vivid fall colours, and we biked all around that area, over to the deer park, and down to the Han River Park on rented bicycles, soaking in the perfect weather and rich sunlight.

Yah, it was nice. One of the most colourful days I've ever spent outside an amusement park.
Here's the slideshow, with the song "Summer Life" by Shaky Hands to accompany.


And here are some pictures so you can feel happy too.
So anyway, if you're in Seoul, get ya butt down to Seoul Forest, THIS WEEK, before the gorgeous leaves fall off the trees.

But you'll have to find your own hottie to accompany you.  Girlfriendoseyo's taken.

P.S.: they have horses.
Below: probably my favourite picture from the day.
And the most colourful: in the Summer, the eulalias are nice, but in the autumn, against the red, orange and yellow, they're spectacular.
Off with ye: get over there.  Ttukseom Station (line 2), exit 8, there's a shuttle bus that goes right to the park entrance, and a bike rental spot right next to the entrance.  You. Have. No. Excuse. Not. To. (if you live in Seoul)

Have any of you heard about this?

Apparently there's some kind of an election coming up, in China or America or Germany or something. . . 

have any of you heard about this?  If it's important (and I think it might be), I wish the media were more on top of things, and did a better job of making sure people got wind of important changes on the world scene.  I mean, especially the Chinese or Americans or Germans or whoever -- they have to vote and stuff.

Anyway, next time around, I hope there's a little more coverage, you know, if it's important and all.  And whoever it is that's having the election (google didn't turn up much), I hope they get out and vote and all.  And that the best candidate (sorry; haven't heard about who they are, or what each of them has to offer) will win.  I'm tired of all the under-coverage in the news these days.  It's frustrating having to try so hard just to find out what's going on.

(ps: dystopian visions of what happens if the wrong party wins)

Update: Here. I think this is what I heard about. Helen Clark vs. John Key on the 8th, for New Zealand's next pope (that's what they have in New Zealand, isn't it?).

The only goal of Korean pop music producers (Banana Girl)

is to create something that will stick in your head like a ballbuster,

and dress it up in as much cute/sexy line-straddling hijinks as they can.

**OK. I should qualify this with saying "often" "sometimes" and "many" instead of "always" "never" and "all". . . but sometimes it seems this way, OK?**

to me, the experience of diving into modern Korean dance/pop music is about tantamount to skipping lunch and eating cotton candy until I'm full instead.

And I swear, there's a musically gifted, sugar-hyper six-year old singing to herself, confined in a music studio basement somewhere who is the inspiration, maybe even the composer, for all these songs.

For your consideration:

Crazy Crazy Crazy, by Banana Girl (note the cute faces, the attempt to start a line-dance craze, and fingers pointing in the air with baby-pink cute smiles)

Here is my running "this is what's going through my head as I watch this video" diary for chocolate, also by Banana Girl. (maybe it's just Banana Girl...)



candy. too cute.
the v sign -- two fingers in the air. getting the cheese on early.

seriously, is this band's target audience four-year olds?

lollipop flowers. . . and then a wiggle dance in a bare-shoulder dress.

ooh. slipped on a bananaa peel. didn't see that coming.

ooh. it can't be a korean mousic video without an attempt to start a dance craze. . . it's like a Freddie Prinze Jr. Movie.

Cartoon mascots. and cotton candy. I swear this video had a six-year-old executive procucer.

the platinum blode wigs are. . . uh...

I wonder how many of these dance crazes people attempt to start, but never catch on. The people at the dance club probably didn't take this one on because they couldn't find enough cartoonishly large lollipops.

holy crap a rodeo machine! only for two seconds.

a candy-cane pole dance and that rodeo machine again. . . so their target audience is four-year old girls and thirty-one year-old men, then. hmmm.

So did hershey sponsor the making of this video?

Wow. There are genres of Korean music I like but dear friends, this ain't it.
I think my hands are shaking.


That was kind of fun.

So, is K-pop getting too sexified? Here's "Kiss Kiss" also by Banana Girls

Again, James Turnbull would be better at discussing the cutsified, lolita-sex appeal of the baby talk, whiny singing, eyelash-batting bicycle-riding kid stuff, balanced against the intensive oral fixation (lollipops, fingers by mouth, a FREAKING CHERRY!), the stick-in-your-head-with-crazy-glue catchiness with those whiny syllables at the end of every line (not just in this song, either)


This sounds very similar to the band/artist I mentioned before explaining why K-pop is sometimes like wading through a swamp of cute, (Lee Hyun Ji) -- any connection between these bands, other than the fact they're like corkscrews in my brain?  It's difficult to explain this kind of pop culture without seeing it, but this is a common form of femininity here, as far as I can tell, and I know some people (not many, but a few) who do (or try to (from time to time at least)) act like these starlets (with varying degrees of success); at the same time, I'm not so much an expert, but I have a feeling a band like this wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of making it in North America, unless they played up the cutesy cheesiness to the level of hardcore fetish, and ended up in some kind of creepy raincoat-flasher target-market niche/asiophile who would have found out about them anyway demographic, kind of like that old Russian teen-lesbian-pop-duo import from 2003, TATU.

All this stuff is way sexier than what one could get away with pulling three years ago, say -- even superduperstar Rain had his song banned for singing about his magic stick!

And this is where I live, dear readers.

So what do you think, readers?  What's the North American culture equivalent to Banana Girl?   And what would happen if Banana Girl decided to tour the states?  The cultural differences that manifest in pop culture fascinate me to no end.

Until I can get more pics up. . .

I went to Seoul Forest with Girlfriendoseyo on Sunday, after a great Saturday meeting a few friends, who took some pictures of me which I want. With a capital W. Beautiful in Seoul Forest though. Just beautiful.

But until I can get the slideshow up and running, and choose the perfect song, here are two pictures for the lot of you, to tide you over until the full write-up comes online,





and here's one just for you, Gomushin Girl.




(ever wanted to hear a real, juicy evil laugh, by the way? I present to you, my nemeis: daunting indeed, she is!)


(HT to Foreigner Joy...anybody got a spare window she can use?)

Trip to Damyang with Girlfriendoseyo

Well, I was going to exercise the full extent of my researching and sleuthing skills (step aside, Popular Gusts: there's a new kid in town), and google "Korean Ghost Stories" and then post the first four hits for a spine-tingling halloween post. . . but Brian and FatmanSeoul beat me to the punch. (I'll link to the first stages of my research, though, so you can get a feeling for the kind of terror I would have laid at your shivering feet. . . were I so inclined.)

So instead, here's a slide show and some great pictures of the gorgeous little town of Damyang in Jeolla Province, where I travelled last weekend with Girlfriendoseyo.

It's a pretty town, with a gorgeous (but crowded on Saturdays in Autumn) Bamboo Forest, and a riverside park right next to the forest. Perfect place to rent a bike. The food was fantastic (it being Jeollado) and as Brian mentioned in a facebook message: it's kind of a travesty that there isn't a Korea food blogger living in Jeolla-do and exploring the local specialties down there. (However, whenever Tourism Jeolla offers me a six figure salary (in Euros, thanks), I'm their man!)

At night, we walked back into the forest, now empty, with green lights planted all along the paths, creating ghostly, lovely shadows between the bamboo stalks. And it was silent. Almost dead silent. I haven't heard true silence (other than "I've stuffed my head under five pillows" silence) in Seoul just about. . . ever . . . so being able to actually not hear anything was a bit shocking, and glorious.

Great place. Wonderful. Can't wait to go back.

That slide show, then. The song is "The Naming of Things" by Andrew Bird, a favorite artist of mine.

rented bikes and hit a biking trail

in the forest proper: it's a popular movie filming location, too.  can't imagine why.

this street was just MADE for couples.

the photo doesn't do a single iota of justice to the scene in the forest after dark.  

I'll be back there again.  Oh yeah.

The Birds and the Bees and The Rocks and the Bee Man

Life cycle of an inflatable advertising sign:

Flaccid.

Expanding

Fully extended. (source)

Add dancing girls.  Pretty ones if possible.

Then suddenly, you have baby inflatable signs.  It's all very mysterious, little grasshopper.

In other news. . .  spotted this "Travel Korea" ad next to the CNN Election news.

A little closer up:Now sure, they could have said, "How about your vacation" which would have even MORE awkwardly told us, "This ad was conceived and written in Korean, and a native English speaker may never have been consulted during any step in the process of creating it, except as a token whose advice we don't follow" but the fact is, native English speakers pretty much never use the question, "What about your..." to introduce new conversation topics.  "What about" is used to explore a different aspect of a topic already under discussion.  On the other hand, my Korean students love to start sentences with "What about" or "How about," whether it's appropriate English usage or not.  Then again, given that the ad was up on CN-freaking-N Online, I don't think they're trying to convince Korean esl students to travel to Seoul. . . in which case. . . 

Keep working on it, guys.  Go find the music-choosey people who put "I like big butts" on the soju ad.

In other Korean ad news: spotted on the wall of a restaurant in Damyang: (warning: adult content)  turns out Michaelangelo's David was a playa!

Also from the Damyang bus terminal: "Hey Minji!  Do you mind if I set up my prune operation in this corner of your shop?"

"Well, Mom, I WAS going to put up a shelf of munchies and other kinds of snacks to SELL there."

"But my house is too small, and these plums smell really strongly when they start fermenting.  Please?"

"Uhh... OK whatever, Mom."

And finally, the payoff you've been waiting for...

When you want to say "I'd DIE for this cause!" (and there are people who probably would here in Korea) there's a new way to express yourself:

Un-subtle (warning: gross)

(HT Japan Probe)

More subtle:
Ladies and Gentlemen, Dokdo Cigarettes!

(this last one courtesy of Joe)

These are Amazing. Especially Borat.

So, uh, now that the world has been flooded with US Election coverage, is the rest of the world allowed to vote, too?

Makes me wish I could.

The original is here.