Cicadas

This is the sound of August in Korea.



Simon and Martina sum up my feelings about the cicadas pretty well.

Cold PSA

First: go vote for me on the "Best English Language K-Blogger" poll over at HiExpat: there are a few days left, and I'm within striking distance of fourth place... Roboseyites, Represent!

Second: It's BLOODY COLD!  I don't think I've ever seen it this cold in Seoul before.

And here's the PSA: Until it gets a little less frigid, don't forget to run your taps for a while, and flush your toilets once or twice, at night before you go to bed, so your water pipes don't freeze and explode overnight.  The older and smaller the building you live in, the more this applies to you.

In tribute to the cold, here's a song with "cold" in the title: "Cold War," by Janelle Monae, one of the hyper-talented young artists making music today.  Remember in 2000 when Alicia Keys had her song "Fallin'" out and everybody's ears were pooping with excitement at what had just come across the airwaves?  That's how stoked I am for Janelle Monae's career.  More about her later, or at least more videos of hers.

This one's a good one, too: the whole video is done in extreme closeup on her face, which makes the performance really intimate.  Plus, she can sing like a house on fire.

Christmas Lights: Chunggyecheon, City Hall, Lotte and Shinsegye Dept Stores

I went to Gwanghwamun, City Hall, Lotte Department Store, and Shinsegye Department Store, and took some film of the Christmas lights on display there.

Unfortunately, the new video camera stores photos in a format that is incompatible with iPhoto.  Yep. That's what I said.  Good ol' Mr. Steve Jobs has created some of the best video and photo editing, organizing and storing programs out there, that are easy to use and all... and then picked a few arbitrary video and photo formats that won't work with them.

Yeah, I can buy the decoder program... but I'm pretty choked that I have to, especially when it's a flippin' CANON video camera - we're not talking about some obscure company from Whoknowswherezystan.  Get with the stinking program, Mr. Jobs.

Anyway, without photos, but WITH video (already bought THAT converter)...I give you Christmas lights, 2010.

Roboseyo's Favorite Things About Winter In Korea, and Two Rabbit Trails

It's cold.

Or in the words of the young lady I stood next to at the bus stop, "It's cold. It's cold. It's cold. Oh! It's cold.  It's cold.  It's cold.  It's cold.  It's cold."

Cold is funny in Roboseyoland, though, for a few reasons.  First of all, communication with Wifeoseyo about cold is very entertaining.

An analogy: my grandmother will notice if you drop a single jalapeno into a six person meal's worth of spaghetti sauce.  And imagine her eating something, and saying, "Say, this is really, really spicy!  It's way too spicy for me."

Then, imagine my (imaginary) friend Vijay, who grew up in the spiciest province of India, raised on Mama "Five Days of Afterburn" Sen's five alarm curry.  He takes a spoonful of something, and says, "Yeah, this is a bit hot, I guess."

Well, my grandmother going, "This is way, way, way too hot for me," is a about like Wifeoseyo saying, "Roboseyo," (she actually calls me that), "Dress up really warm!  It's going to be really really cold today!  You better be ready!"

And Vijay going, "It's kinda spicy," is like me going, "Yeah, it's kinda cool today," when Wifeoseyo asks about the weather.

(image)

This leads to funny miscommunications, and the development of the 140/70 rule: When she says it's cold, she describes it as being 140% as cold as it actually is.  When I say it's cold, she understands that I'm understating the weather at about 70%.

The funniest thing was this weekend, when the inlaws were in town, mom-in-law-oseyo told me it would be cold... and overrated the cold at exactly the same rate Wifeoseyo does.  

And despite this, Wifeoseyo underdresses for the cold. But this is an opportunity in disguise for me:

Roboseyo's Favorite Thing About Korean Winter #1:

(This message is for the guys:) You see, gentlemen, if you're dating a Korean lady, you should know there's a Korean saying that a fashionable woman is cold in the winter... and this works to your advantage, because chivalry is not dead in Korea.  Just keep an extra pair of gloves in your pockets all winter.  And wear a scarf you don't actually need when you meet her, so that you can pull it off and give it to her.

Wifeoseyo eats it up every time.  It's one of my best tricks.  That and cooking breakfast.

Chivalry. Korea. Not dead. Sir Walter Raleigh and Queen Elizabeth I, and Hamlet Cigars.  The stuff you find on Youtube with the right keywords.

But yeah. Chivalry is not dead here.

Roboseyo's Favorite Thing About Winter #2:

Ondol.  Heated floors are glorious.

Roboseyo's Favorite Thing About Winter #3:

Balgan Naebok

(Rabbit Trail 1)

My brother lives in a place so cold that the Wal Mart parking lot has an electric outlet at every parking space so that you can plug in your car's block heater while you're shopping, and it's so cold there, that during the dead of winter, you need to.  

But Canadians aren't actually tougher than others: we don't have special cold-repellent skin like polar bears or tauntauns (see below).  We just know how to dress for the cold.  

Some Koreans also dress for the cold: the long underwear section in Korea is awesome, because it's so egregiously unfashionable: it's called "bbalgan naebok" (빨간내복) or "red under clothes"

(source)

But good luck finding someone under 40 wearing it.

In Edmonton, they don't say "A fashionable lady is cold," just "It's freezing out dere, eh?  Bundle up, dumbass."  I grew up in Southern Ontario, with weather like Michigan, or Buffalo, for you United Stonians.

(image: a tauntaun.  That'll cover my nerd quota for the week.)

(Rabbit Trail 2) 

Since you asked, here are my three pieces of advice for managing the cold:

1. Head Feet Hands.  If your head is warm, your feet are warm and dry, and your hands are warm, you'll be OK in the end.  If your head is bare, your jacket can be warm enough to collect pit-stains, and you still won't feel warm.  Meanwhile, cold feet = unhappy Roboseyo.

2. Layers.  If you overdress, and sweat in your winter clothes, it's going to end badly.  Layer, and use zippers, so you can tie things around your waist, unzip things, zip things up, and pile on and undo layers, so that you're never over-chilled, nor over-warm.  Include at least one layer that is wind resistant. Wool is warm, but porous.

Roboseyo's Favorite Thing About Winter in Korea #3:

3. These things.

Neck buffs.  See, sometimes I have to give my scarf to Wifeoseyo.  I'm OK with that.  Because neck buffs are so fantastically multipurpose, I can keep warm whatever part has been exposed.

(photo)

Plus, they pack away tiny into your pocket, which is a total boon for a dude who likes giving his wife his winter gear.  They're also machine washable, unlike gloves with that thinsulate crap in them.  Layers are WAY better than extra insulation.  And in the summer, they breathe enough to be decent sun protection, too.

Doubleplus, these buffs are the ultimate layering aid.  On top of, or below the scarf, the hat, or whatever else you've got, they trap all kinds of heat, despite being small and thin.  Pull them over your mouth or under your chin.  I always have one or two of these things on me, and I swear by them.

You can find them at most hiking goods stores: I just got one in Namdaemun.  If you look around carefully, you can find quality ones for 18000 to 25000 won, or you can get the cheapie ones for 5000 won, and the cheapos are just as good for layering.  Another good place to find them is biking stores: moped and scooter bikers are exposed to the elements, and wear them.  http://www.guideschoice.com/scripts/prodview.asp?idproduct=834

Roboseyo's Favorite Thing About Winter in Korea #4:

Not Christmas.

More about that later.

Sweet! Fresh Snow~

You may have heard that we had a record-breaking snowfall early on Monday. It was sweet.




Modern comedy is too fast paced. Nobody appreciates a really delicious awkward pause anymore.


And because I love snow, I went out in the snow to take some pictures. Jongmyo Shrine and Changgyeonggung were my destinations, and it was great. I'm going to write this post quickly, so please pardon lack of organizational coherence, etc.. If it really bugs you, well, you got what you paid for, didn't you?

This was built in a snowpile in myeongdong.




Palace and grounds.


























Jongmyo Shrine and Grounds







liked the snow pattern on the roof here








tracking across fresh snow is such a joy. I couldn't even tell you why.


liked this wonky tree. cool-shaped branches


everybody was out there with their cameras, taking pictures of everything.






The ajosshi playground in front of jongmyo shrine.








The fresh snow was deep.

and wet, later.

barely felt like Seoul.


All around myeongdong the snow had been scraped and broom-brushed (can you believe people use brooms to clear snow in Korea? And nobody has a proper snow shovel.


Chunggyecheon at night always makes me happy.





ze han river. taken from a subway car.


more on my travels this christmas break, and a look back on 2009, coming soon on Roboseyo

Gilsang Temple and Daehangno

So girlfriendoseyo and I went walking around Seongbuk-dong, after heading out there with another friend a few weeks ago. That time, it was late, and Gilsangsa, or Gilsang Temple, was closed. But this time, it was a sunny Sunday afternoon, and Fall came, too.



I love the Buddhist temples in Korea: they're old, so the builders got to pick all the sweetest locations with the best views. This one in particular, was built into a craggy bit of hillside, rather than a smooth open area, as is more common, and that wacky layout led to more variety in the paths and trails -- curves and corners lined with old trees, that made each nook and cranny a surprise. All that to say, dudes, the landscaping was supa dupa sweet.



as were the colors -- the same kinds of colors that inspired my happiest post ever.


We had lunch at this restaurant/wedding hall thingy up at the top of Samchungdong, where we paid about 150% more than the food was worth, in order to eat it looking out at this:

winding paths. nice.


Had my birthday, and one of the sweet gifts Girlfriendoseyo gave me was an awesome cream-colored cardigan/jacket/sport coat. It goes with pretty much everything I own, it's super comfortable, looks nice, but not so formal that I'd feel weird wearing it to work, say, and it's from a tiny, unique little shop that decreases the chance I'm going to pass a dozen other people on the street, wearing the same one.

That's a happy seyo you're looking at.

The sunlight was amazing, all over the place.

and the paths meandered wonderfully. I like landscaping and paths so much better than the sterile symmetry that comes of over-adherence to the principles of Feng-shui. That's why I liked the gardens in Japan more than the geometric patterns of Korean palaces, Gwanghwamun Plazas, and, yes, Forbidden Cities.








Here's the road the temple was on.










nice pics. nice place.

apparently they have tea, too.


Then we went to Daehangno, the theater district, which is one of my favorite hot spots in Seoul, and at some nice Persian food, and spotted this restaurant:

more on the way "sand" has become the Konglish abbreviation of "Sandwich": this shop's name is "Sanderella" -- a pun on "cinderella". A horrible pun.

Now, I don't want to sit around and rant and wail about how every pun in Korean menus and restaurant names are awful and Konglishy and horrible, so instead, I'm hereby opening the Roboseyo e-mail lines up to another Roboseyo contest: send me a photo of your menu item, sign, or restaurant name, with an actually clever pun in it. There must be some out there. Somewhere.


Good news for all you Daehangnians: those amazing giant poops that used to be right in the center of Hyehwa -- the most distinctive landmark in Daehangno, possibly next to the giant Gandalf in front of the (is it CGV?) theater. They're in a different place now (on the south end) but the giant turds ARE still there. Whew.


Speaking of turds, I didn't have my camera handy, but there were poop shaped hammers for sale in Jongno 3-ga station.

Also, they dug up most of the sidewalk along the main strip, and put in this stuff.


It looks nice, for the most part.

there's water running down the surfaces of those wall-ish things.



however, this channel, dug right into the sidewalk, with little panels in front of the street-vendors, looked to me like the very definition of a drunk trap. I'd LOVE to walk around Hyehwa on a friday night, at 2:00am, and count the number of slobbering drunks falling into the little stream-channel. High comedy, all night long. I might have to open a street-vendor stand.







and that'll do for now, dear readers.

Keep it real, or whatever they do these days.

In conclusion, Korea is a land of contrasts. Thank you for reading my essay. Teacher! Do you know Daehangno (Hyehwa)?