Arbor Day Update

I've been alerted that, because this week has been miserably wet and snow/rain/sleety, and the weather service says it will continue that way, the Arbor Day event I mentioned that was going to be on Inwang mountain has been relocated.

All that rain will make it impossible to plant trees in the squishy soil, so the event will be at Bukhan Mountain instead, with the meeting place at the gates of Gookmin (Kookmin) University at 10:30 AM on the 27th.

The facebook event can still be visited here for more information, and the 2S2 Blog has a map.

Post #800

Roboseyo hereby marks its 800th post.

I started blogging in October 2006, and have since written 800 different posts, ranging from personal confessional to social commentary to viral video. I hope you've enjoyed it: it's definitely had its ups and downs, and it's been really rewarding learning from the other bloggers and commenters who have joined the discussions here.

Wanna Chat with Foreign Beauties? How to Make Friends with a Foreigner Part 2

This is part 2 of a series on forming friendships between Koreans and expats. It sure isn't the final word on the subject, but maybe it's a start.

In some kind of search for balance, because I can only represent the expat's side of the equation, I asked a few of my "Korean Korean" readers to contribute some advice and insights from the other side. Those posts will alternate with these ones, in an effort to redress the imbalance.

Tip 4: Be open. My favorite line in Avatar was when the Navi told Jake why they couldn't explain their culture to the human scientists: "You can't fill a cup that's already full." This is true of foreigners, too. If your mind is already full of ideas about foreigners, you'll miss the chance to get to know ME. My name is Rob, not Foreigners, not Canadians, not English Teachers. Even if your friends know a lot of foreigners, it's better to forget everything you've heard about foreigners. Even the positive stuff. Not all Canadians are polite, not all African-Americans are athletic. Not all Koreans are good at math, are they?

Tip 5: Be ready (to speak Korean). If I speak to you in Korean, answer me in Korean, especially if your English level is lower than my Korean level.

[UPDATE]: I forgot to mention this, but I don't want to make it into its own point: If I DO try to speak to you in Korean, please respond to me as an adult communicating in your language. Being told "You're cute when you speak Korean" is frustrating and patronizing.

I'm speaking Korean to communicate with you, not to entertain you: your language is a language, not a party trick, so please stop responding to my attempts to speak your language as if I'd just performed a really great party trick. Listen to what I say, and answer. Don't congratulate me as if I were a six-year-old who just tied his shoes for the first time.

"Good boy! You speak Korean SO WELL!"  (that's how it feels)

Go ahead and praise my Korean if I'm doing well... actually doing well. Giving commands to a taxi driver after living here for four years doesn't count as doing well, and doesn't warrant a "You speak Korean very well!" If I've been here for a month, it does.

Tip 6: Be confident. It makes a big difference. Don't focus on your English mistakes, and never apologize for your English ability. A lack of confidence leaves a bad impression. Saying, "Sorry about my poor English" is like saying "please ignore the zit on my forehead" - you're only drawing attention to it!

(image stolen from here)

If you're nervous about approaching foreigners, don't forget that most foreigners in Korea are excellent listeners, because we talk to second-language English speakers every day. Just relax, and talk, and focus on the person, not yourself, and especially not your grammar. Try your best, have a good attitude, and I’ll do the same.

Tip 7: Be brave: for a long time, I never started conversations with the Koreans around me because I was worried I'd embarrass someone who didn't speak English well. You’ll probably have to start the conversation, because I can't tell if you can or can't speak English by looking at you. Getting out your English study book when you're sitting next to me on the subway usually isn't enough, either, unless you're a very attractive member of the opposite sex (if that’s true, all these tips are more flexible). If I gave you my phone number, send me a message or phone me: that's why I gave it to you!

Tip 7.1: If the English book you are reading on the subway is about a topic that interests you (say, travel photography), rather than something that gives no hint about your character ("TOEIC Vocabulary Level 4" "Tuesdays With Morrie") I’ll be much more interested in a chat with you, if I have the same interest.

Tip 7.2: Either talk to me, or ignore me, but please please please don't stare at me. Making eye contact three times is about the limit: after that, you have to either talk to me, or stop looking. This is especially true for men staring at female foreigners, and triple-especially-super-true for staring at female foreigners' body parts. They know you're staring at their breasts. They always know. Just trust me on this one.

Tip 7.3: Also, please don't talk about me in Korean where I can hear you: most foreigners know the word for "foreigner," and we can tell by people's voices and body language when somebody's talking about us. Almost all my most uncomfortable moments in Korea involve staring, or people talking about me in Korean, not realizing that I can understand them.

Tip 8: Be more than an English speaker. By itself, speaking the same language is not reason enough to be friends with someone. Think about your Korean friends: you like them because you share some interests, or some experiences in life, not just because you can practice your Korean together. Foreigners are the same: we prefer being around people who have something in common with us. If English is the only thing we share, it's probably not enough for a good friendship, unless we live in a place where there are very few English speakers in town.

This is especially true in cities with large foreign populations. Instead, as I described before, develop some interests, and look for facebook events related to them.

Tip 9: Be honest. We're smart, and we can tell who's sincerely interested in being friends, and who actually just wants free English practice. It shows in your body language, your voice, your eye-contact: everything. If you want English lessons, be honest about it, and negotiate a fee. Don't pretend you want to be friends, when you really just want English practice.

Here comes part 3!

Back to the table of contents.

Wanna Chat with Korean Buddies? How not to make an Ass of Yourself: Part 1

Ooh, dear expat readers:

You thought I was going to let you off the hook, didn't you? You thought I was going to put all of the onus on the Koreans who approach us, to defer to our cultural uniqueness, to be the one who comes to us, to adapt to our special situation.

No flippin' way!

Halfway through preparing this series, I realized just how high-handed, and totally unbalanced, the series was coming out to be... due to the fact I can really only present one expat's point of view, and generalize from there, it's not surprising the viewpoint was one-sided, really...

but I wasn't going to be satisfied with that: maybe you remember this post, where I requested some of my Korea born-and-raised readers to contact me... the reason I did was for this series, so that I could ask some of my Korean readers and friends: "What are the things that foreigners do, that annoy or frustrate you?" and present the opposite side of the equation when a Korean and an expat meet, and unintentionally annoy each other.

So interspersed between posts with tips for Koreans trying to be friends with foreigners, are posts with tips for westerners to avoid being "that foreigner" to your Korean friends.

A lot of common complaints were connected to that awkward and (let's admit it) needy situation where one is asking one's Korean friend to speak Korean on his/her behalf.

[Update: Kimchi Ice Cream has a great post that basically takes this exact theme, and applies it to the school situation. If you want to endear yourself to your coteachers, read Jason's rundown of the 14 behaviors that will quickly have the exact OPPOSITE effect.]

Tip 1: Be Appreciative

See, good expat, you're lucky to have a Korea friend who has the forbearance to do this for you, and you really should be appreciative and grateful to the friend who's helping you out. Seriously.

Yeah, I know it's frustrating living in a country where suddenly I can't pay my phone bills on my own anymore... but if you have a Korean friend who is HELPING you pay those phone bills, it's the barest of good manners to take a break from resenting Korea for not being an English speaking nation, and to show some gratitude toward the people who are helping you navigate the ins and outs.

And before whatever objection comes into your head, ask yourself: when was the last time back in your home country, that YOU helped that Bangladeshi family that moved in down the street, sort out a dispute with their landlord? Yeah that's what I thought. Bear that in mind next time you're thinking about making yet another needy call to your Korean buddy.

If your Korean friend has agreed to help you out by speaking Korean on your behalf, that's great, and you're lucky... but it's also helpful to be a bit thoughtful about what you're asking them to translate.

If you give them a speech like this one to translate:

recognize that you're being a bit of a douche, and very definitely a high-maintenance person, and don't be too surprised if that well runs dry kind of fast. If you really must order that way, learn how to explain what you want yourself... but also recognize that that's usually not how folks roll in Korealand, and you might find yourself butting your head against a wall, not because of the language, but because NOBODY orders takeaway food... but also an extra serving divided in half and packed evenly, with one of the halves not spicy, but the other half spicy but vegetarian, and with extra side dishes double-wrapped in saran wrap (for the smell) and can you deliver the spicy half to a different address than the plain half, and do you have a frequent customer card? Seriously, keep it simple, you clown!

If you do have complex things to cover, make sure everybody's clear before heading into the electronics shop or whatever: draw a picture, make a checklist, talk about it beforehand, and get your ducks in a row.

Tip 2: Make an Effort: If it's your first month in Korea, and you don't speak a lick of Korean, your generous-hearted Korean friend will probably let it slide, yah? But if you've been here for six or ten or twenty months, and you're still looking to your Korean buddy to help you order a tuna kimbap ("Sorry: I always forget the word for tuna!") then you're being a bit helpless now, aren't you?

Learn to read hangul before the end of your second month in Korea. It's not hard. Learn the names of your favorite foods, and if you have predilections for or against certain things, learn how to explain it yourself. Learn the word for "vegetarian" or "milk allergy" or "I die if I eat peanuts" or "I don't like tomatoes" and know how to talk to the cabby.

Even better: instead of looking to your Korea friend to speak for you, ask him/her to teach you the phrases you keep not knowing how to use. Seriously: make at least the effort to pick up survival Korean as quickly as you can, if only so people don't keep looking at your Korean friend and wondering why she/he is hangs out with mentally challenged foreigners.

So that's step one. Stay tuned for part 2 of "Not making on ass of yourself to your new Korean friend"

Back to the table of contents.

Busan Weekend: Jagalchi Market

It's all Hwangsa-ey out there today - the Yellow Dust is as bad as I've ever seen it. This photo has not been altered in any way.


K. 'Nuff about that.


Went down to Busan with Girlfriendoseyo and my mother-in-law-to-be. We had a great old time, bopping around Busan for a weekend, and at the end of it, eating heap good food. I took about a bazillion pictures, and visited three main spots; here are the best photos from the first of the three: Jagalchi Fish Market, one of the best and most famous seafood markets in Korea. It was great, the fish never looked healthier, richer, and more colorful, and gosh, I like traveling around with Girlfriendoseyo... and her mom's a great travel partner, too, because, in typical ajumma style, she sees to it that we get nothing but the best of the food and service the restaurant has to offer.

The Market
Outdoor

Beautifully silver fish. Never saw them so bright at the fish-markets in Seoul.










sea penises.


















Other stuff:

You could pick your food out front, and then have it prepared and eat it in the back.





I liked this guy.



Indoors: there was a whole other market indoors, but the weather outdoors was so nice we didn't really look around in there.



This guy was manually sharpening knives. An interesting effect of Korea's super-fast development is that the older generation still partakes in many "developing country/poor population" money-saving acts, like sharpening knives, re-soling shoes, and so forth, while the younger generation just buys new shoes and knives. When the older generation dies away, the nifty knife-sharpeners and solitary shoe-re-solers will disappear... but then, they'll be dying away at the same time, and nobody'll miss them, really, because everybody'll be buying new shoes and knives, anyway.



This is what we ate at Jalgalchi market


Future Mom-in-law-oseyo found this restaurant by reputation. Love the back-alley experience.