Some words for my Opa

My Grandfather's Funeral was last Tuesday.

My sister wrote about him.
My uncle delivered the Eulogy at the funeral. (published here with permission)
Because I couldn't be there, my two cousins read the eulogy I wrote at the funeral. Here is what I wrote.

Stay classy, Korea Times

Here's a new feature at Roboseyo:

Send me your screenshots of The Korea Times' comment boards. Show me the classiest, suavest, sanest, most logical flame-wars they have to feature. Include a link to the original page and I'll post'em here. This was from the page where Kim Tae-hee basically apologized for being beautiful but untalented. My personal opinion: keep collecting your commercial paychecks, Ms. Kim, and don't expect me to sympathize with you because your acting talent blocks you from making aNOTHER degree of order more than I make. If her middle school grades were so high, why don't we get her into scholarship? I'd attend her academic paper. Especially if this was her presentation style:

Keep it classy, KT. To follow the conversation properly, read it from the bottom to the top: most recent comments go on the top at KT.

Mosquito Apocalypse

Anybody else bugged all night by mosquitoes last night? I noticed surprisingly few during September and October (usual skeeter season in Seoul), but last night alone I killed about eight (sorry 'bout that, Buddha), and everyone I've heard from so far has reported similar experiences.

Anybody else nervous about the mosquito apocalypse? Do you think they've just been laying low all September, to muster the troops for an attempt on humans for the place of primacy on planet Earth, or what's up?

Their attempt to move up the food chain sure didn't go unnoticed. Anybody know where I can get one of these?


By the way... Schwim just posted the funniest student drawing I've since... I couldn't even tell you.

2S2, November Edition this Saturday

Hey all. Don't forget to clear your calendar on Saturday afternoon for the second monthly 2S2 meetup.

For more explanation on what 2S2 is, and where to meet see this link.

For a write-up of the last 2S2, go here.

I'm hoping this one will have a bit bigger turnout than last month's, and if you're coming, bring a deck of cards or, even better, a set of gostop cards. The activity of the afternoon will be learning how to play/ playing Gostop. If you want to be extra-prepared, read the rules here.

So clear your calendars. More about it later, when I dont' have to prepare for a class.

Roboseyo

Feeling Blue? Cheer Up.

Who WOULDN'T love this video?

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

He's better than Alanis Morisette.

All Hail Tom Coyner!

Tom Coyner is one of the snazziest commentators on Korean culture. His webpage, Tom Coyner, is cool, but I especially like what he writes for Korean papers.

This time, he argues that at the same time as Korea tries so hard to build its brand, Korea continues bulldozing the kinds of neighborhoods and landmarks that would do the most for Korea's ACTUAL brand, rather than just the manufactured one. Yet again, the gap between what Korea IS, and how Korea wants to be seen, reveals itself in sharp relief. Give it a read. I totally agree... sure, some of these neighbourhoods ARE decrepit and DO need revitalization... but another rectangular class and concrete eyesore is the LAST thing Seoul needs these days to become a unique, interesting city with neighbourhoods that each leave strong, and different, impressions on visitors.

Few Links...

1. The musical version of "naturally blonde" oops I mean Legally Blonde, is coming to Korea. Just in case we didn't have enough fake-blonde Koreans already.

2. In really, really, really bad news: it is now officially legal to watch TV while you drive. Are you effing kidding me? I mean, seriously? Can Korea's justice system just call a mulligan on some of its judge appointments and bring in some new people who don't have their heads up their butts?

3. This guy thinks Korea's music industry is working on a business model that's all wrong, and in fact, threatening to lead to the downfall of the Korean wave! Personally, I agree: if you ask me, the boy/girl band, trained by a production company, business model just isn't going to lead to a growth of the kind of creativity and originality that will ultimately help the Korean wave flourish.

Morning Calm Garden, Day Trip in South Korea

Not sure if I've posted this yet, but I wanted to make sure I shared this picture with you:

I love the random appearance of soldiers in Korea, doing random things, like holding their girlfriends' purses at shopping centers, or goofing off on a subway platform, during their weekends of leave. This is my all-time favorite, though:



Next: Girlfriendoseyo took me to a place called "Morning Calm Garden" the very weekend after reading A Geek In Korea's glowing review of it. I took a ton of pictures, and here are the best ones for you. This was one of the prettiest botanical gardens I've ever seen (and I've seen a few). It's only 15 years old, and I'm sure as the trees mature, it'll only get better, but this was the absolute optimum day for fall colors -- both because of the date (everything was rich red) and because of the weather -- the grayish sky meant I never had to worry about backlighting while taking most of my photos, and then right near the end of our trip, suddenly the sun came out and I got a few blazing glory shots, too.


In a garden, open spaces are crucial for balance.


in the sun, those white spray-thingys look really great. I'm bad with remembering plant names, but in the same way not knowing musical theory doesn't mean I can't appreciate a good symphony, not knowing plant names hasn't impeded my aesthetic appreciation of them.


In the gift shop: this is what happens to a Korean kid if they wet the bed. They have to walk around the neighborhood knocking on doors and asking for salt. I imagine the public shaming might be a good disincentive.. then again, the fear of shaming might lead to bed-wetting level anxiety.


A mother rubbing her sick baby's belly. Girlfriendoseyo asked if I knew what was happening, and I helpfully informed her that Korean moms are not the only ones who rub their sick children's bellies. (snarky comment goes here.. but I'm trying to be less snarky)




I like wacky, crooked "1960s batman" angles when I take pictures.


A waterfally stream.


here's another picture of the stream.



green and red.


I love variegated colors like this, fading from one shade to the other.






stream bed


This tree had the most awesome colour fade I've seen in a while. Look how it pretty much hits every color on the fall spectrum, from its tips to its center.




from the lookout point, I played with setting the light filter lower, so that the brighter colours showed up more brightly in contrast.


lighter filter setting. Learning what my camera can do has been a fun process.


The rock-pile garden was fascinating. One guy had a pile so tall it was above his head! (you can see it poking up, a bit left of the center)






Kids were playing. They made me happy.








I also like pictures of backlit leaves.






The sunken garden.




More leaf fades.


Just to prove I was actually there:
Girlfriendoseyo likes to frame her subject on the sides of photos.


as you can see.


the pavillion lake.


had a continuous string of people using these benches to pose.


these reminded me of the Pines of British Columbia


Maybe my favorite picture of the whole lot:




a great people-watching moment I caught:




as usual with Korean sites, crowds were de rigeur... but the scenery was so nice, I didn't mind a bit.




Yeah. so that was nice.

My Opa

This is my Opa. He's my hero.

Rest in Peace.
More about my Opa, my hero.

My Eulogy for Opa

Strangely enough, the story that sticks in my head about Opa isn't even something that happened to me. When Mom was sick, she and I talked a lot, sitting on the couch, between Mom's increasingly frequent naps. One of the stories that stuck the most is when Mom told me about doing the family chores when she was young. All the other kids avoided the after-dinner dishes, but Mom did them with Opa, and she says she loved doing the dishes, because it was an hour a day of Opa's undivided attention.

Maybe the story had a bit of extra meaning for me, because at the time, I was living in Mom and Dad's house, not working, to dedicate time to Dad and Mom. It might have been my own version of washing dishes with Opa, to sit across from Mom, to play some music she enjoyed, or chat, or share a story. Spending time with someone you love, I've realized, doesn't have to be meaningful. In fact, the meaningful stuff often doesn't come about without ordinary, un-meaningful time working like the soil where seeds of real closeness might grow. This is a lesson I've learned painfully this year. In a month visiting my family, it was good to have meetings, to get together, to talk about Big Stuff, but even while we discussed all kinds of deep or fun or far-reaching topics, when something went wrong at Dan's house, the people they called up for help were the ones who lived in town. The ones Silas felt comfortable with were the ones he saw daily or weekly, and it didn't matter to him that Dan and I shared a room for most of elementary school.

Opa was like that too, for me. It took a fair bit of poking and prodding for me to get any Big Topics out of him: it was more to the point to be with the people you loved, and to enjoy their company.

Opa was the gentlest man I knew. He was patient, and warm, not in the pull you off the ground with a bear-hug way, but in the "come over here and sit with me" way, and that made it easy to be comfortable around him. He had a sneaky, unforced wit that popped up from time to time, just rarely enough that I never expected it. I once asked him, after coming back to Canada from my first year in Korea, "Do you have any advice for me on how to live my life?" and he answered, "Don't get old." It's also impossible for me to think about Opa without thinking about my Mom, and or to think about Mom without thinking about Opa, because there was so much of Opa in Mom: the gentleness, the listening, the joy in being around the people she loved. Between them, with the simple way they both enjoyed being near the people they loved, the gentleness, the listening, the generosity, I think that they laid the groundwork for a lot of the best parts of my character.

Opa wrote two family histories. The first was about his father's generation, a history that started with a bunch of unfamiliar Dutch places and names that didn't mean a lot to me when I read it, and ended as a tender, admiring tribute to his father. The second volume was the story of his and his own children's lives, with stories about childhoods, courtships and marriages, and the like. But the more important heritage that Opa left us is first, a deep spiritual grounding, a Godly and faithful upbringing for all his children, that contributed to a powerful moral compass that I'm pretty sure has been passed on to every one of the grandchildren, too. Opa left in every person of his family, a softness that proves softness is not the same as weakness -- the gentleness of spirit that Opa lived out now repeats itself in his children and grandchildren. It's one of the best parts of me, when I let it come out. In fact, if you call and ask me what’s up, I’d tell you that one of the reasons this has been one of the hardest years of my life is because I haven't allowed that side of myself, the side that most resembles Opa, to come out more.

One of the most powerful spiritual experiences in my life came about because of Opa. This was in 2003, my first year in Korea. It was June, just as I was starting to get my expat feet under me, and I got a call from Mom and Dad saying that Opa was in the hospital again, and not doing so well, and that I might need to schedule a trip back to Canada if I wanted to see him again. I went out for a walk around my neighborhood: walking is something I do when I can’t think of anything else to do, and as I came through the gates of the park built for the 1988 Seoul Olympics -- right near my house -- it was near sundown, not quite dusk yet, but the sun was low and the sun rays were getting long. I looked up, and saw a triple rainbow, with the middle one as flaming bright as any rainbow I've ever seen. Then I turned around, and a brilliant sunset seen circled the entire horizon, in every direction, from shades of pink and orange, to layers of clouds in purple and gold. Later I learned that a typhoon was approaching Seoul that day, and that’s why the moisture in the air led to a sunset rainbow, but all I felt was the peace that comes of being assured, "Things will be OK," by the only one big enough to make a sunset with a triple-rainbow. I love that from time to time, God chooses to talk to us by showing us staggeringly beautiful things, that only He could have invented, and just like Job, we're silenced with wonder, never bullied into submission, but awed back into trust.

And this time, well, I'm still waiting for the triple-rainbow, and the dishes in the sink are dirty, and I wish Opa could stand beside me and we could wash them together, and maybe talk, or maybe just be silent, and do a little task with someone we love, and have that be enough. And maybe the time we got to spend with Opa while he was here on Earth... maybe that was the triple rainbow. Maybe Opa's life, and his character, and the way he left himself behind in all of us, maybe that's more beautiful anyway, than some wild typhoon sunset. It's sad for us that he's gone, but it's good that we knew him, and maybe what we have to do next is find the people we love, the ones we want to be with, the ones we want to care for, the ones we want to remember us when we go to God, and wash some dishes together.

Goodbye Opa. We'll always miss you.