I am in the midst of gathering all the silly poetry and other writing I've written in other spots into places where I manage them. I published some articles in one of Korea's English language newspapers, and after they redesigned their website, they are nearly impossible to find, and all the links that used to work have gone dead, and I don't like that. So before websites disappear, or all our content gets Zucked, here are some poems I shared while trying to crack up a few friends on social media. You'll figure out how they work pretty quick, I think.
Roses are red
And this is nonsense...
Think you know the quotes?
Guess in the comments!
aaand:
Roses are red,
Glass cracks and won't bend
If you can't guess the answers,
They're now at the end.
Roses are red,
Lemon's tasty in pie
Why'd I give up the answers?
I'm just a nice guy!
And now.. here are your answers...
But sell them in vain
“I have had it with these motherfucking snakes
On this motherfucking plane!”
Roses are red
Preppers like spam
“Frankly, my dear,
I don’t give a damn.”
Roses is reds
Violets is blues
“I’m gonna make him an offer
He can’t refuse.”
Roses are red
Blue jeans are pants
“What is this?
A center for ants?”
Roses are red
Smartphones can take pics
“It’s dangerous to go alone!
Take this.”
Roses are red
Whatever your mood
“You lewd, crude, rude
Bag of pre-chewed food dude!”
Roses have thorns
And ivy can climb
“But you can be
My wingman any time!”
Roses are red
Violets are blue
“I’m gonna execute
every last fucking one of you!”
Roses are red
Pancakes are flat
“I would do anything for love
But I won’t do that.”
Roses are red
Wind-catchers dance
“So you’re telling me
There’s a chance!”
Empire Strikes Back: Han and Leia Roses are red
Many crows make a murder
“Why, you stuck-up, half-witted
Scruffy-looking nerf-herder!”
