Though I am sure you all believe my credibility to be unassailable, here, just to prove what I said in the last post, is an example of Korea's love for processed imitation meat.
Here is the box that was handed out to each and every teacher at my school this year at Chusok.
Look inside. Go ahead.
For the record, Chusok was in early October. The fact this box of spam is still hanging around in the western teachers' lounge. . .
without even a single can removed and consumed . . .
gives you an idea of how well the big boxes of spam went over on the English teachers.
"They say it's the thought that counts, so, uh, thanks for remembering, I guess."
But wait. . . what is it for real?
It's not even actual spam. This brand of imitation processed meat is a cheap knockoff of spam -- yes, even imitation meat was too good for us; imitation imitation meat will do fine.
I shouldn't be too bitter, though: we got TWELVE cans each -- I mean, that's like getting, you know, nice socks for father's day.
Doesn't that look lovely? The lettering in yellow reads "pam" -- I wish they'd added "75% as good as real spam!" (though in Korean, 팜 is only HALF as good as real 스팜)
(real spam. there's an oxymoron)
Yup. Things are getting pretty lean when you start saying things like "I'd rather have spam."
I asked girlfriendoseyo why people give spam at Korean thanksgiving. She answered, "because it's cheap" -- basically, it's the equivalent of giving your honey cash on Valentine's day -- "Happy Pink Day. I'm too lazy to put any thought into it, so here. Go get yourself something nice." (This gift introduction is best accompanied with a pat on the bum.) It may as well have "I had to give you something" written across the can, instead of "pam".
(To their credit, the school did much better on New Year's Day, with a nice little red wine set. Thanks for that, Mr. Kim. Red wine will be much enjoyed. And yes, I realize I am being a bit of a prig for looking a gift horse in the mouth. I'm sure glad we got boxes of spam instead of a hefty package of Saturday morning intensive classes for Chuseok. Thanks for that, boss! I'm glad you're not like the new supervisor at my old school!)
anyway. . .
I should work in advertising!
Need something ironic? Lukewarm? Plan to damn with faint praise, or skewer with sarcasm? Rob-O-Seyo's your man!
Who can resist my golden words, my dazzling slogans? They're better than getting stitches after falling down concrete stairs!