Saturday, 29 December 2007

Wizard People, Dear Readers. I laughed for about an hour straight last night.

A guy named Brad Neely, from Austin, has recorded a voice-over for the entire first Harry Potter movie. It is sometimes overwrought, sometimes a little crass, and mostly absolutely hilarious.

It's available on youtube, divided into chapters, here, from beginning to end.

This thing made me laugh out loud a lot. If you love Harry Potter, or if you love overwrought prose, or people talking in silly voices, or somebody taking the piss out of the silliness of Hollywood fantasy movies, this is SOOO worth seeing, and funnier than all but two or three of the comedy movies I've seen in the last five years.

The prose is wildly uneven, going from phrases like:

"yuckers" and "holy BALLS!"

"her voice is chilling, and like a piano made of frozen windex"

"snooozers. All the kids are too tired to listen."


"a disturbingly meaningful fog hangs cataracts all over Hogwarts."

"Gathered around the fire, four or five cognacs down, our threesome unwinds and works out the details. Neckties loosened, robes unbuckled, they are relaxing. Yes, they are wrong about Snake."

"Harry is like a demon long dead, with nothing else to lose. . . like a leopard, Harry used his voracious mouth as his catcher! He's got the snitch in his animal belly!. . . the crowd goes absolutely BAZONKERS! . . . Harry is spent! The crowd is destroying its throats, calling Harry's name. Harry feels right with himself he's down there, a new God, who has found his calling. He holds up the snitch, and bellows, "I am a beautiful animal! I am a destroyer of worlds! I am Harry f*cking Potter! And dear reader, the world, at last, was quiet." (the end of the Cribbage match)

"That crazy, sick-ass face is burning everything. He wants that stone bad. He wants to paddle Harry so hard. He starts telling Harry all sorts of fake sh*t like that Harry killed his own parents, and that Dumbledore eats babies."

Dude, just watch it (unless you don't like f*ck-words, as he calls them.) Here's one of my favourite parts, just to get you started.

And here's Chapter one.


Kelly said...

my, what an annoying voice.

Roboseyo said...

yeah. but at least the annoying voice is saying things like "a huge man that if you didn't know better, you may mistake him for a giant, hairy truck. . . perched upon his sky-leopard, Hagar seems at the end of an errand that almost bested him."

instead of things like
"you're a terrible teacher!! You don't know what my daughter needs! She's special! She needs special attention! If she's failing it's because YOU'RE not doing your job!"


"come on. just a little discount. a little one. why won't you give me a discount? you're so rude to me!"