Saying it's a Cultural Difference is the Beginning of the Conversation, not the End

I was just looking over the series I wrote this spring, about how to make friends across the foreign/Korean cultural divide, in which I highlight a few of the common pitfalls in developing friendships between Koreans and non-Koreans.  The series is extensive, good reading (I think), but while editing and cleaning up hanging links, I added this paragraph:

And remember: "It's a cultural difference" is NOT the end of a conversation.  It's the BEGINNING of a conversation.  After saying "It's a cultural difference," it's important to articulate that difference, and how my expectations are different than your expectations, so that we can be understanding and flexible towards each other in the future.

Using "cultural differences" can be a cop-out to avoid responsibility for unacceptable behavior which I, or someone else, is unwilling or unable to actually justify.  Any time somebody starts saying "cultural difference," watch carefully, to see if that same person is trying to get away with something, or to figure out what topic they're avoiding.


That is, if you want to have a genuine relationship with said person.  Otherwise, "it's a cultural difference" end of conversation, can be the sound of a door closing in someone's mind.


Anyway, to revisit a series I put a lot of work into this spring, go check it out.
Table of contents for the series 
Part one of "How to make friends with a foreigner"
Part one of "How to be friends with a Korean"

Most of the advice is basic, "Don't be an inconsiderate jerk" stuff... but sometimes naming specifics is helpful.

Deep Thoughts: Vlog Idea?

I've been batting around the idea of starting a vlog, or video blog, here at Roboseyo.

What say you, readers?

Here is a little teaser of some of the insightful, thoughtful commentary you might come to expect, should roboseyo start a regular video-blog.

Deep thoughts with Roboseyo:

Feedback?

Public School Teachers, Drop a Line, and Female Bloggers, Unite!

Two quick notes:

1. In a follow-up to the piece about articles giving wildly inconsistent statistics about native English teachers breaking their public school contracts, I have two friends who are looking to connect with Public school teachers, either past, or present.  In particular, they're interested in talking to teachers who broke contract, in the way some news sources reported as many as 66(!)% did.  So if you are/were a public school teacher, and especially if you didn't finish a contract, please contact me (roboseyo at gmail dot com), and I'll put you in touch with people who want to talk with you.  If you're worried about your name being out there, I'm sure they'll let you do it anonymously.

(original article from Popular Gusts, ATEK's statement, Brian in JND's post)
More follow-up: after ATEK's statement, and further investigation, Hankyoreh wrote about ATEK's announcement, and then posted a correction of their original article.  This was also reported at Extra Korea, Brian in JND, and Popular Gusts.




2. One of my favorite new blogs is I'm No Picasso, because she provides a smart, engaging, and thoughtful female perspective on life in Korea.  She has a recent post titled "I'm No Picasso.  I'm also No Dating Blogger" where she calls the Korea blogosphere, and particularly the Dave's comment boards, to task for being overwhelmingly male... it kind of reminded me of this video: "X-Box Girls Get Revenge" where at least one of those sexist asses populating the internet gets his comeuppance.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

The other thing I loved was this paragraph plus change:

Ladies, my question is, what are you doing? I know you're out there. I know you are insightful and intelligent and well-spoken. I know you have valid things to say about your experiences here in the ROK. Which is not to say that the dating bloggers aren't doing that -- they absolutely are. But that's only one aspect of our experience here. Don't tell me that it's the only way we're capable of expressing ourselves, or that it's the only source of interest we have in paying any attention to each other. Community is what you make of it, and so far, ours hasn't been very strong.

Not that it's easy. You'll all (the women, I mean) know exactly what I mean when I reference the boys' club aspect of life here as a female expat.

Chris in South Korea has a list of female K-bloggers, which he keeps updated, as far as I know, and I once made a call out for female K-bloggers before, but I'd love to hear if there are other awesome ones I should add to my reader, and all y'all female bloggers: heed INP's words, and get y'all connected!

The "It Gets Better Project"

Too many kids in the USA have been committing suicide because they were overwhelmed, or bullied, about their sexual orientation.  That sucks.

But this is really cool: there's this amazing Youtube movement called "It Gets Better" - a fella named Dan Savage started this Youtube account, and opened it up, that people could post messages on there, expressing support for young homosexuals.  The main message is just that: "It gets better" - high school sucks, but somewhere beyond high school, there are people who care, who understand, who don't judge.

I've been watching these videos, and they're touching, and beautiful, and it's heartbreaking hearing story after story of humiliation and ostracization, but it's also amazing watching the whole internet come out in support.  It's lovely.




The ones that got me the most were these ones: the christians.  I grew up in a Christian home and went to a christian school, and a chrisitian university where any gays were deeply closeted, and where you had to sign a contract that, at the time, stipulated that you were not supposed to partake in homosexual practices, like the girl in the video below.  Since then, I've decided, like my friend Melissa, who was one of the first people to nudge me in this direction, that Christians are really on the wrong side in this issue.



It seems like, when you look down the line of history, at other great human rights victories, Christians have been on the ragged forefront, fighting for the disenfranchised - slavery, civil rights, women's rights -- yet this time, the religious right is the antagonist, and that grieves me.

So anyway, spread word about the "It Gets Better Project" because stuff like this reminds me of how much good the internet can accomplish, and it restores my hope in humanity just a little again.

KOTESOL Conference this Weekend in Seoul

KOTESOL is holding a conference this weekend, and you should go.  KOTESOL is an organization focused on professional development for English teachers in Korea, and they're quite well established.  If you're serious about your craft as a teacher (and you should be), this is a great place to sharpen your tools.  If you're planning on being in Korea for a long time, this is also a great place to meet long-term English teachers, and do some of the kind of networking that will help you make the most of your life in Korea, and attain your future goals for living here.

Cut and pasted from the ATEK Newsletter:

From October 16 to 17, the KOTESOL PAC2010 International Conference will be held at Sookmyung Women’s University in Seoul, with the theme Advancing ELT in the Global Context. More information about speakers, venues, schedule, registration fees and membership is available on the KOTESOL conference page at http://www.kotesol.org/?q=2010IC.

Visit www.kotesol.org for more information about KOTESOL, including how to join or contribute to the organization. Network with KOTESOL members at KOTESOL’s Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=2324076718&ref=ts