one expat's life in Korea
Friday, January 29, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Traveling Korea: Will I Get Bugged? Plus, Blatant, Crass Self-Promotion
Got this question... usually answering questions is the realm of Ask the Expat, Ask A Korean, and sometimes Chris in SK does them, too, but this one came to me. I've made some changes, for brevity, privacy, and to make myself seem more awesome:
Hi, Kyoposeyo.
Thanks for the sweet letter. It's actually my policy only to answer letters that use the word "awesome" the exact number of times you did (ten, or twice per paragraph for longer letters), so you lucked out, I guess.
To answer your question:
First, a qualifier: I can't speak for how your family will react. Because family's closer, things are just different; your parents will be more useful in briefing you on introducing him to the family. If he's meeting your uncles, I bet they'll try to get him drunk, as my best friend's uncles-in-law did. For family, their impression will depend a lot on how they've been prepared for meeting him, but that's all I can really say about that.
Next, for people in Korea, once it's clear that you're not Korean born-and-raised, you often get a kind of a free pass here. Therefore, one thing you could do is simply pack clothes that are clearly Canadian, and noticeably different from the fashions Korean women wear. Wear very little make-up, which will set you apart from most Korean women, even in the summer. If you're going to Japan first, pick a few distinctively Japanese accessories you can wear, that'll set you apart for passersby looking from a distance. Then people will size you up as a tourist and the "rules" won't apply to you. You could even speak in more laboured Korean, as if you don't know it well, to make your disguise complete. Of course, if it doesn't sit well with you to deny your Korean background, don't do it; I sure wouldn't hold that against you.
Third: I think the reactions your boyfriend will get, being seen with a visibly Korean woman, really depend a lot on your boyfriend's appearance. Some people have a lot of trouble with negative attention from Koreans when they're out with their Korean girlfriends, but I never have, and I think it's because I do what I can to keep a well-groomed appearance, and try to make a positive first impression on the Koreans around me, especially when I'm with Girlfriendoseyo (who is Korean: you were right about that). I might be totally wrong here, but I bet you'd get more attention in general, if he looks like a bedraggled hippie with long hair, a grizzly adams beard, and torn clothes - just because NOBODY dresses or looks that way in Korea; once he's attracted all that attention, there's a greater chance some of the attention he attracts will turn negative, and that some individual will peg him into the stereotype of the ugly English teacher stealing "our" women or whatever. But if he dresses in a way that keeps a low profile, and fits in with the locals, there's a much much lower chance that he'll elicit that reaction. When in Rome, wear a toga. Those viking furs might be the heighth of fashion in Denmark, but they won't get you far at the Coliseum.
If he's groomed, smiling and polite, if you teach him a few Korean phrases and he says them with a friendly air, all those same people who'd otherwise mutter, will smile and tell you he's a handsome guy, and maybe offer him a shot of makkeolli or some extra side dishes. If you're out climbing mountains and in nature, which it sounds like you want to do, you're very likely to encounter the nicest side of Koreans, rather than the unsavory side: many of the most positive experiences I've had with Koreans, especially older Koreans, have been on the mountain. The same old lady who, in the city, would shove you to get onto the subway car before you, will share her lunch with you on the mountain-- the climbing culture is one of the friendliest aspects of Korea I've come across, personally, so you're probably in for a treat if you're heading for the hiking trails.
Of course, you can also just tell everybody you're married, too. These days, international marriages are nothing out of the ordinary in the countryside.
Hi Roboseyo the awesome
My name is Kyoposeyo - I'm such a fan of yours that I legally changed it, and your blog gives meaning to my life. As a second generation Korean/Canadian, I want to thank you on behalf of my race for being so awesome. Awesome. I'll say it twice. That's how awesome you are. Having been raised by first generation Korean parents (grew up in a Canadian city), I know a thing or two about Koreans, despite not having lived there, nor being as awesome as you.
I want to throw a question your way: hopefully this complete stranger's question will pierce your near-indestructible shell of awesome. It would help me a lot if it did, and you answered.
I am planning a trip to Japan and Korea in May; I'm going with my caucasian boyfriend. He wants to see Korea's natural beauty, and bask in the awesomeness of the place that inspired your awesome blog. Awesome. There's that word again.
I have been to Korea with my family before, but NEVER with my boyfriend. I speak Korean, but am wondering how Koreans will react to us being together. I thought I'd ask you since you are a foreigner, and I am assuming your girlfriend is Korean?
Your thoughts on this would really help me in planning my trip. I haven't booked a ticket yet, as I am figuring out how many days I want to spend there with my boyfriend.
Sincerely,
Kyoposeyo
p.s.: Awesome!
Hi, Kyoposeyo.
Thanks for the sweet letter. It's actually my policy only to answer letters that use the word "awesome" the exact number of times you did (ten, or twice per paragraph for longer letters), so you lucked out, I guess.
To answer your question:
First, a qualifier: I can't speak for how your family will react. Because family's closer, things are just different; your parents will be more useful in briefing you on introducing him to the family. If he's meeting your uncles, I bet they'll try to get him drunk, as my best friend's uncles-in-law did. For family, their impression will depend a lot on how they've been prepared for meeting him, but that's all I can really say about that.
Next, for people in Korea, once it's clear that you're not Korean born-and-raised, you often get a kind of a free pass here. Therefore, one thing you could do is simply pack clothes that are clearly Canadian, and noticeably different from the fashions Korean women wear. Wear very little make-up, which will set you apart from most Korean women, even in the summer. If you're going to Japan first, pick a few distinctively Japanese accessories you can wear, that'll set you apart for passersby looking from a distance. Then people will size you up as a tourist and the "rules" won't apply to you. You could even speak in more laboured Korean, as if you don't know it well, to make your disguise complete. Of course, if it doesn't sit well with you to deny your Korean background, don't do it; I sure wouldn't hold that against you.
Third: I think the reactions your boyfriend will get, being seen with a visibly Korean woman, really depend a lot on your boyfriend's appearance. Some people have a lot of trouble with negative attention from Koreans when they're out with their Korean girlfriends, but I never have, and I think it's because I do what I can to keep a well-groomed appearance, and try to make a positive first impression on the Koreans around me, especially when I'm with Girlfriendoseyo (who is Korean: you were right about that). I might be totally wrong here, but I bet you'd get more attention in general, if he looks like a bedraggled hippie with long hair, a grizzly adams beard, and torn clothes - just because NOBODY dresses or looks that way in Korea; once he's attracted all that attention, there's a greater chance some of the attention he attracts will turn negative, and that some individual will peg him into the stereotype of the ugly English teacher stealing "our" women or whatever. But if he dresses in a way that keeps a low profile, and fits in with the locals, there's a much much lower chance that he'll elicit that reaction. When in Rome, wear a toga. Those viking furs might be the heighth of fashion in Denmark, but they won't get you far at the Coliseum.
If he's groomed, smiling and polite, if you teach him a few Korean phrases and he says them with a friendly air, all those same people who'd otherwise mutter, will smile and tell you he's a handsome guy, and maybe offer him a shot of makkeolli or some extra side dishes. If you're out climbing mountains and in nature, which it sounds like you want to do, you're very likely to encounter the nicest side of Koreans, rather than the unsavory side: many of the most positive experiences I've had with Koreans, especially older Koreans, have been on the mountain. The same old lady who, in the city, would shove you to get onto the subway car before you, will share her lunch with you on the mountain-- the climbing culture is one of the friendliest aspects of Korea I've come across, personally, so you're probably in for a treat if you're heading for the hiking trails.
Of course, you can also just tell everybody you're married, too. These days, international marriages are nothing out of the ordinary in the countryside.
see also this post: Tips to Avoid Being Assaulted in Korea
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Do Stuff: Events and Ways to be a Good Person
I got a letter from a guy named Abhishek Joshi, an expat living in Suwon; he wanted to spread word about a program expats in Suwon have organized, to volunteer at a local orphanage there. He's looking for people who will join him and the others who are already part of the crew, and volunteer in Suwon - give back to the community where we live. Here's his site. I'm also writing about this at the 2S2 Community blog.
Hermit Hideaways, steadily winning more and more "hey, buddy: sweet blog!" points, has some upcoming concerts you can attend. This is another live show you can attend. Carsick Cars - Chinese Post-Punk.
I have a ton of listings of events and things in my facebook inbox:
Guest speaker Lee Kyung Sook, from the Joint Committee with Migrants in Korea (JCMK), will be speaking at Amnesty International's meeting on Saturday, 06 February 2010, from 16:00 - 18:00. The facebook event page is here.
KISS - Korean International Salsa Social, has regular Thursday night events now. This one includes a salsa lesson. The Facebook event page has more info. Dancing is fun.
And Ka-Brew Korea is having a Beer River Cruise on Saturday, 06 February 2010, starting at 7pm at the Yeoinaru Docks and finishing in RMT Itaewon. You can read up on it here. The theme is pirates.
Guest speaker Lee Kyung Sook, from the Joint Committee with Migrants in Korea (JCMK), will be speaking at Amnesty International's meeting on Saturday, 06 February 2010, from 16:00 - 18:00. The facebook event page is here.
KISS - Korean International Salsa Social, has regular Thursday night events now. This one includes a salsa lesson. The Facebook event page has more info. Dancing is fun.
And Ka-Brew Korea is having a Beer River Cruise on Saturday, 06 February 2010, starting at 7pm at the Yeoinaru Docks and finishing in RMT Itaewon. You can read up on it here. The theme is pirates.
I heard from the Wild Women's Performing Arts Festival (WWPAF), is a bi-annual fundraising event that uses visual and aural performances in order to address the issue of gender equality in Korea as well throughout the world.
Proceeds from the Festival are given to the KWAU (Korea Women's Association United), an organization that advocates for women's issues in Korea, including the Korean Women’s Hotline, the Dashi Hamkke Anti-Trafficking Organization and agencies for disabled women.
The Festival will be at the Mong Hwan in Sinchon (Sinchon Station, Exit 2). The event will be held on Saturday, February 27 from 8pm-5am.
(all photos on this post are from last year's WWPAF festival) Yet again, there's more information about the event on Facebook.
Proceeds from the Festival are given to the KWAU (Korea Women's Association United), an organization that advocates for women's issues in Korea, including the Korean Women’s Hotline, the Dashi Hamkke Anti-Trafficking Organization and agencies for disabled women.
The Festival will be at the Mong Hwan in Sinchon (Sinchon Station, Exit 2). The event will be held on Saturday, February 27 from 8pm-5am. (all photos on this post are from last year's WWPAF festival) Yet again, there's more information about the event on Facebook.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Weekend Notes: Moving Day, and Movie Quote of the Decade
1. Korean moving companies, seriously, rock. Girlfriendoseyo moved to a new place: the place where we'll live together after the wedding in July (did I mention there are nuptials in my near future? I did. And the post where I announced it, and said: 
I got engaged this year! If I don't get at least twenty comments of congratulations on this post, I'm shutting down the blog forever.is squatting at 12 comments, and Roboseyo remains in danger. Come on, readers. It's not like I asked you to send money or something. Is it that only twelve of you read to the end of the post? Cripes.
But Korean moving companies, comments or none, still rock. A swarm of people comes into your house, loads everything into baskets boxes and things, trucks them to your next place, and unloads them. The guy who did the bookshelves even had a system whereby he returned all the books in the same order on the shelves as they were when he boxed them. All Girlfriendoseyo had to do was point and say "put it in this room" or "that room" and all I had to do was stand around looking handsome (and that takes effort for me), and be tall once or twice.
2. Girlfriendoseyo's mom, Omonim, is cute, and I like her more and more. Today, we discovered that she likes bubble wrap: I grabbed some from the dishes box, and she, Girlfriendoseyo and I had a little moment together, popping bubble wrap. It was brilliant. She even stored some away for later.
3. OK, I was thinking about this, and I'd like to open the question for comments. What was the movie quote of the decade? I mean, a really memorable movie quote has to be usable, it has to be instantly recognizable as "from that movie" - "Frankly, dear, I don't give a damn" "make him an offer he can't refuse" and stuff. (AFI's 100 best movie quotes)... it also has to immediately evoke the movie in question - Saw's "I want to play a game" doesn't evoke the movies quite clearly enough. In fact, if I have to name the movie it's from, it doesn't belong on the list.
The '90s had some good quotes:
"FREEEDOOOOMMM"
"Does that make you horny, baby?"
"I know kung-fu"
"I see dead people"
"My momma always told me life is like a box of chocolates."
"I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. FUPFUPFUPFUPFUP"
like, ALL of The Big Lebowski
and so forth... but what about the naughty oughties? This writer can't come up with anything, and when I tried to think of some good ones, I kept thinking of quotes from '90s movies. So, readers, what IS the quote of the oughties?
Here are the ones that come to mind; a few might have come from an article on this topic that I read a while ago... and I want to know what YOU think might be the movie quote of the decade.
Here are the ones that I think qualify: Immediately identifiable, evocative of important moments, and quotable - you know how to deliver the line:
"I drink your milkshake"
"This is sparta"
"My precioussss" and "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
"Why so serious?"
"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth."
What am I missing?
On the second tier: a lot of will ferrell
"Hey Honey! We're streaking!"
"I'm kind of a big deal" or "Stay classy, San Diego"
"He only has one face!... I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" or "What is this? A school for ants?"
"Rock stars have kidnapped my son!"
Help me out here, readers. What are the other most memorable quotes from the '00s?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Back-blogged: last few pictures
1. why I'd rather go to Seoul's indoor skating rinks.
Look at that awful ice.
What self-respecting Canadian would choose to skate on that... except on a first-to-third date, with a legitimate shot at some smooching?
2. Girlfriendoseyo took this sweet picture of me at Morning Calm Garden: I like the question-mark shape I'm making. My fiance has a really good eye for photography.
Look at that awful ice.
What self-respecting Canadian would choose to skate on that... except on a first-to-third date, with a legitimate shot at some smooching?
2. Girlfriendoseyo took this sweet picture of me at Morning Calm Garden: I like the question-mark shape I'm making. My fiance has a really good eye for photography.
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